CSM
12-08-2018, 09:37 AM
I felt compelled to copy and post this here. It is a post on FB that my son made. Maybe it will provide some insight. He far more eloquent than I.
"So I was getting my hair cut today and the "stylist" asked me what I do for a living... I said I work for the MITRE corporation and for the national guard. She asked me what the national guard was... I told her it was a reserve of the active army and that we trained to support active duty and prepared to deploy.. She then asked me - like immediately, do we actually deploy or does that not actually happen... I said "well I've spent three years in the desert as a guardsmen so yes, it happens, - then she asked what I meant by "the desert" - which shocked me, so I said "you know, like Iraq"... Then she immediately asked me if I was in a fire fight (those aren't the words she used, but I understood what she meant). I was shocked that she could so callously ask that question. I have been very lucky that in all my time on the roads in Iraq and other places that I was never in a fire fight, however there have been many screwed up things that I experience (like recovering bodies, and helping soldiers that were wounded in fire fights- which I didn't get into)... This experience highlighted for me the separation between the civilian population and the military... Also for those that do not know, it's extremely poor form to ask service members things like "did you ever kill any one"... I can luckily say that my actions never directly killed anyone, but my work as a targeting officer... In any case, no service member wants to talk about that with anyone they just met. Please be aware that your curiosity (which you will probably forget the minute the service member walks out of your immediate area) is something deeply personal and likely troubling to someone else. It's not something we think of as "cool" and we are executing the actions of OUR elected officials, which doesn't make it easier... In any case, frankly it's none of your business unless we feel comfortable enough to share... Yes, that interaction bothered me, for many reasons, not the least of which the stylist truly was ignorant about the potential ramifications of her question."
"So I was getting my hair cut today and the "stylist" asked me what I do for a living... I said I work for the MITRE corporation and for the national guard. She asked me what the national guard was... I told her it was a reserve of the active army and that we trained to support active duty and prepared to deploy.. She then asked me - like immediately, do we actually deploy or does that not actually happen... I said "well I've spent three years in the desert as a guardsmen so yes, it happens, - then she asked what I meant by "the desert" - which shocked me, so I said "you know, like Iraq"... Then she immediately asked me if I was in a fire fight (those aren't the words she used, but I understood what she meant). I was shocked that she could so callously ask that question. I have been very lucky that in all my time on the roads in Iraq and other places that I was never in a fire fight, however there have been many screwed up things that I experience (like recovering bodies, and helping soldiers that were wounded in fire fights- which I didn't get into)... This experience highlighted for me the separation between the civilian population and the military... Also for those that do not know, it's extremely poor form to ask service members things like "did you ever kill any one"... I can luckily say that my actions never directly killed anyone, but my work as a targeting officer... In any case, no service member wants to talk about that with anyone they just met. Please be aware that your curiosity (which you will probably forget the minute the service member walks out of your immediate area) is something deeply personal and likely troubling to someone else. It's not something we think of as "cool" and we are executing the actions of OUR elected officials, which doesn't make it easier... In any case, frankly it's none of your business unless we feel comfortable enough to share... Yes, that interaction bothered me, for many reasons, not the least of which the stylist truly was ignorant about the potential ramifications of her question."