Man loses his marbles in his own yard

[jimnyc]

Man loses his marbles, mistook for a couple of bird eggs, crown jewels... oh my! Reading this story hurts!

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Seagull rips off man’s testicle as he sunbathes naked

A rogue seagull ripped off a man’s right testicle as he sunbathed naked in his back garden, it has emerged.

Experts say the fearsome bird mistook the man’s exposed privates as a couple of birds eggs and dropped in for a tasty snack.

As the man – who has not been named – dozed on his patio in his detached home near Ipswich, the seagull swooped from the sky, and with one bite of its beak ripped away the right testicle.

In gripping scenes that could have been written by a copywriter, he woke screaming in agony and saw the bird flying away with one of his ‘crown jewels’ wedged in its yellow beak.

His wife called an ambulance, and staff at Ipswich Hospital’s accident and emergency department had to patch him up, and give him a course of antibiotics to prevent infection.

A hospital source said: “Nobody could quite believe it when the poor chap was brought in. There was a lot of blood and he was in agony, but he will feel better in a few weeks.

“The injury is not life-threatening, and tests have confirmed that his remaining testicle is still in working order, so he will be able to have children.”

Rest - https://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/seagull-testicle/

[Elessar]

That is so bizarre!

Seagulls used to swoop over our lifeguard stand on the beach. Kids would throw
popcorn or potato chips under the stand.

I hate those flying rats!

[hjmick]

I wonder if that's the same one that snatched the Chihuahua...


Seagull snatches chihuahua Gizmo from garden - leaving dog's owner distraught (https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/distraught-dog-owner-searching-pet-18499524)


Nasty creatures... I believe that any seagull found more than two miles from the coast should be shot...

[High_Plains_Drifter]

For some reason... my lie-dar is going off. Personally don't see a seagull as having the size and strength to rip a nut off a man. What a bizarre story. I find it hard to believe.

When I was stationed at MacDill AFB in Tampa, I'd go to McDonald's every once and awhile to eat their trash, and I'd get it to go and sit outside in my truck to eat so I could listen to tunes. The seagulls are smart birds and they keep an eye on those places, so I'd throw a french fry once and awhile out my window onto the hood and they'd swoop down and grab it. After I threw a few out there they'd just land on the hood of my truck and sit there waiting for me to throw out another fry. IDK... I thought they were cool. I'd sit in the truck and talk to them and ask, do you want this, and I'd hold up a fry, and they'd be watching my every move, so I'd slowly start moving the fry further out the window and sooner or later they'd just fly to the window and pick it out of my hand. I got a kick out of it. I like seagulls. I think they're intelligent, graceful birds.

But again, I don't see as how a seagull could rip a guys ball off. I don't think *I* would have the physical strength to that with my hands, and we're supposed to believe a BIRD can do it?

Aaaaahh... I can't believe this story. I think it's a farce. His nut had to be hanging by a thread... :laugh:

[hjmick]

For some reason... my lie-dar is going off. Personally don't see a seagull as having the size and strength to rip a nut off a man. What a bizarre story. I find it hard to believe.

When I was stationed at MacDill AFB in Tampa, I'd go to McDonald's every once and awhile to eat their trash, and I'd get it to go and sit outside in my truck to eat so I could listen to tunes. The seagulls are smart birds and they keep an eye on those places, so I'd throw a french fry once and awhile out my window onto the hood and they'd swoop down and grab it. After I threw a few out there they'd just land on the hood of my truck and sit there waiting for me to throw out another fry. IDK... I thought they were cool. I'd sit in the truck and talk to them and ask, do you want this, and I'd hold up a fry, and they'd be watching my every move, so I'd slowly start moving the fry further out the window and sooner or later they'd just fly to the window and pick it out of my hand. I got a kick out of it. I like seagulls. I think they're intelligent, graceful birds.

But again, I don't see as how a seagull could rip a guys ball off. I don't think *I* would have the physical strength to that with my hands, and we're supposed to believe a BIRD can do it?

Aaaaahh... I can't believe this story. I think it's a farce. His nut had to be hanging by a thread... :laugh:



Well, he is British... their testicles are weaker than ours...


<ducks drummond's wrath>

[Kathianne]

Well, he is British... their testicles are weaker than ours...


<ducks drummond's wrath>
:laugh2::slap::laugh2:

[jimnyc]

For some reason... my lie-dar is going off. Personally don't see a seagull as having the size and strength to rip a nut off a man. What a bizarre story. I find it hard to believe.

I thought the same and posted anyway for fun, but after reading HJ's post, I think they would have the strength. Chihuahua's are tiny, but still.

*** I do read elsewhere that the source of the article, the suffolkgazette, is a satire site. Should have known! LOL

Then I just looked at their about page and the first sentence:

You couldn’t make it up. Suffolk is full of strange and wonderful stories, and our tales explode across social media and get repeated by gullible mainstream media, including Sky News and national newspapers. "And some dumbass on a political site"