PDA

View Full Version : How would you deal with this?



KitchenKitten99
02-05-2007, 03:56 PM
One of the kids I do daycare for is 4 (will be 5 in october). She's in preschool 2 days/week, so she comes a little bit later in the day on those days.

But we have lunch at the same time (or near) every day. This girl has a problem of not eating. She will eat 2 teeny mouse-size bites and say she's done. Ok, fine, then I tell her no snack or even milk or juice later because she needed to eat more food, not fill up on liquids.

She has now gotten to the point where she sneaks into the kitchen and dumps the food in the garbage and claims she's done. I have caught her both in the act and when I open the garbage I see that she did it. She has done this several times with various food items. I have told her mom of one instance, but she does it more often than I have told her mom.

She also is lying to me more and more about a lot of things, mostly stupid stuff, but it is all stuff that she knows she's not allowed to do. Like she went into my boys' bedroom that is off limits to the other kids, and grabbed his bubbleblower gun (again, she knows this is not a toy she is to play with and she's not allowed in his room), and started playing with it, and ended up breaking something on it. I didn't immediately see it, but I glimpsed her shoving it under the changing table as I walked by the toy room and knew that her actions were suspicious. So I pulled out the bubble gun, questioned her, knowing full well what happened anyway, yet she chose to lie to me until I told her that I knew the truth and if she was willing to tell me, her discipline won't be as bad. So she told me what I already knew. She got a time-out and no books at nap/quiet time.

I also don't want her mom to think I am being petty or I am picking on her kid, but something has to be done. Her behavior has gotten worse and worse. As far as the picky eating thing, her mom knows about that, because she has told me she's fought Grace (her name) all her life to actually eat something other than snacks and liquids.

My problem with this whole wasting food thing is that I am on a food reimbursement program, and while I get reimbursed for meals served, I can't re-serve the food if she eats off it at all, for sanitary reasons. So there goes another helping that one of the other kids could have had.

I know she's hungry at lunch because she bugs me constantly to know when it is time to eat. Then she eats a few mouse bites and says she's done. I almost want to not give her any at all because of what she did the previous day, but then if my food program supervisor stops by, by my voluntarily not giving her something to eat at lunch, I could get in trouble. I don't want to starve her, but she is almost starving herself by her eating habits.

Sometimes she will eat all her lunch plus more if we have mac & cheese, pizza, ravioli, or spaghetti. She loves pasta, but we can't have that every day.

I have even threatened to have her tell her mom what she did, and she kinda gets upset, but she almost sounds like she doesn't really care too much. She got upset on other things she did that I made her tell her mom. I have even told her I would be fine if she didn't eat until later, ya know, if she isn't hungry right away. I know my own 3yo isn't always hungry right after preschool, so I don't pressure him to eat. He usually will eat 'lunch' at about 4pm, even though he gets home around 12:30. They have a snack just before dismissal, so that usually holds him over for a while. But she's the one bugging me about when lunch was done.

Sigh... any ideas on how to get her to stop wasting food? I don't care so much that she eats at all, but that when she does want something, she eats every thing she takes.

Hobbit
02-05-2007, 04:01 PM
Sounds like a mom problem to me. If the kid is only consuming 'liquid and snack foods,' it's probably because mom is giving in to her tantrums. Talk to the mom and suggest she cut off the empty filler food this kid loves so much so she might start eating other food. When I was a kid, I would (if I could) eat whatever was put in front of me, because I knew my mom wasn't going to let me pig out on crackers if I didn't appear hungry enough to finish lunch.

5stringJeff
02-05-2007, 04:02 PM
Give her smaller portions?

Also, work out with her mom on what an appropriate punishment is for lying.

KitchenKitten99
02-05-2007, 04:09 PM
I asked about the issue early into their time here, and her mom is the same way, where if she doesn't eat what is there, then nothing later. At least that is what she tells me she does. She seems to be on the same level as this goes. I have been kind of letting it slide, but there is no reason she can't eat even half a home-made mcdonalds-size cheeseburger. Portion size isn't a problem. I watch her 2.5yo brother (the one that still has the pacifier)who eats 3x what she does, and sometimes more. Same with Nathan (3), but he tells me whether or not he's hungry at the time, and I will adjust the table settings accordingly. She's almost a year older than he is, and has 5x the verbal skills.

I am not sure how to bring up the lying without sounding petty or so upset that I don't want them to keep coming here. I know I can't afford to lose them right now.

Mr. P
02-05-2007, 04:09 PM
Smaller portions, if she wants more, give her more.

Is this the same kid you had a problem with early on?

KitchenKitten99
02-05-2007, 04:11 PM
Smaller portions, if she wants more, give her more.

Is this the same kid you had a problem with early on?

yes, same girl. smaller portion sizes of food other than pasta would have to be the amount equivalent to about 4 hershey's kisses. Those are about the size of the bites that she takes.

jackass
02-05-2007, 04:22 PM
My wife and I (my wife mostly) used to watch 2 of my co-workers kids and had much of the same problems you are talking about. It simply came down to me being the bad guy to get them used to the way we wanted things done. Mommy and Daddy talked the talked...but I saw them at their house and they didnt walk the walk. They would constanlty give into the whining and crying.
Their kids used to do the same thing when it came to eating. Finally I wouldnt allow them to play until they were done eating. (At least a descent amount). If they didnt finish it then they werent allowed anything else. I know it may sound cruel..and trust me it was hard to do, but eventually they knew when it was lunch time it was time to eat.

Mr. P
02-05-2007, 04:28 PM
yes, same girl. smaller portion sizes of food other than pasta would have to be the amount equivalent to about 4 hershey's kisses. Those are about the size of the bites that she takes.

So do it, even with pasta. When she wants more give her more.

Hey you could even get tough, when she wants more pasta just tell her you know she can't/won't eat that much. Maybe she'll show you she can.

What I'm thinking is this...adjust her normal meals that she tosses to a portion she will eat. When the pasta day comes do the same. When she wants more tell her she had what she eats already and we don't waste food. Tell her, If you eat more at lunch for the next few days you can have more pasta the next time we have it.
But be sure to give her a day you'll have it again, a goal for her.

EDIT: Scratch all that...so many kids live on one food or another. This really isn't your problem. Just give her the portions she'll eat no matter what it is.

KitchenKitten99
02-05-2007, 04:28 PM
My wife and I (my wife mostly) used to watch 2 of my co-workers kids and had much of the same problems you are talking about. It simply came down to me being the bad guy to get them used to the way we wanted things done. Mommy and Daddy talked the talked...but I saw them at their house and they didnt walk the walk. They would constanlty give into the whining and crying.
Their kids used to do the same thing when it came to eating. Finally I wouldnt allow them to play until they were done eating. (At least a descent amount). If they didnt finish it then they werent allowed anything else. I know it may sound cruel..and trust me it was hard to do, but eventually they knew when it was lunch time it was time to eat.

I've done similar things (no playing, or other food after), but it doesn't seem to sink in that she needs to stop wasting food and lying. Like I said, I have no issue if she wants to eat later in the day, but she bugs be every 10 minutes (we're working on that too) about when lunch is done. Then she gets it, and literally 3 nibbles and she says she's done. Unless it is pasta or chicken nuggets and homefries. Then she waits until she thinks I am not looking and dumps it in the garbage.

Today she lost painting priviledges and no books or toys at nap/quiet time. I just don't think it really affected her, but if it did, she doesn't show it.

KitchenKitten99
02-05-2007, 04:33 PM
So do it, even with pasta. When she wants more give her more.

Hey you could even get tough, when she wants more pasta just tell her you know she can't/won't eat that much. Maybe she'll show you she can.

What I'm thinking is this...adjust her normal meals that she tosses to a portion she will eat. When the pasta day comes do the same. When she wants more tell her she had what she eats already and we don't waste food. Tell her, If you eat more at lunch for the next few days you can have more pasta the next time we have it.
But be sure to give her a day you'll have it again, a goal for her.

EDIT: Scratch all that...so many kids live on one food or another. This really isn't your problem. Just give her the portions she'll eat no matter what it is.

here's where it gets tricky though. I have done that too, and then she'll say she wants more. So, I give her more, but then she'll either eat it, or all of a sudden say she isn't hungry anymore, and the second helping gets wasted. But I never know when she's gonna do that. So do I just give her the tiny portions and increase it in size every day? I may try that...

Mr. P
02-05-2007, 04:47 PM
here's where it gets tricky though. I have done that too, and then she'll say she wants more. So, I give her more, but then she'll either eat it, or all of a sudden say she isn't hungry anymore, and the second helping gets wasted. But I never know when she's gonna do that. So do I just give her the tiny portions and increase it in size every day? I may try that...

I guess you can..danglling that carrot (the pasta) will be her goal/motivation to eat more. Just be sure she understands when it comes pasta day she gets the same amount as she eats any other day durning the week.

jackass
02-05-2007, 04:52 PM
I've done similar things (no playing, or other food after), but it doesn't seem to sink in that she needs to stop wasting food and lying.

No no no :) Literally...they dont get out of that chair until the meal is eaten. It will sink in. :)
Actually the husband kinda got mad at me one time cause his son didnt eat lunch..the other 3 kids went to the beach..guess who didnt get to go? I would have and have done the same to my own child so I didnt feel the least bit worried over it.