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Yurt
11-17-2007, 11:36 PM
I am 33 and can't imagine having kids. My wife wants them in about a year or two, latest.

Am I so wrong to not want kids? I am serious. The paralegal, who just had number 2, says kids are GREAT. She loves them. Always talk about her kids......admit, the kids are cute.

I don't know, I feel weird or something because I just don't "feel" kids. The paralegal says that her husband said the same thing, until, they had their own.

Cone fused

retiredman
11-17-2007, 11:40 PM
My oldest turns 33 this week. I was only 24 when he was born... too young, I guess, but it has been a gas. My wife wanted kids really badly and I acquiesced. Looking back. I don't regret it for a minute.

darin
11-17-2007, 11:46 PM
What you want now vs what you want later. That's the thing.

Regret is a sonofabitch. I've NEVER met anyone who regrets ANY of their kids...Most parents can't imagine life w/o 'em.

:)

Yurt
11-17-2007, 11:48 PM
My oldest turns 33 this week. I was only 24 when he was born... too young, I guess, but it has been a gas. My wife wanted kids really badly and I acquiesced. Looking back. I don't regret it for a minute.

damn. my mom was 20, bio:dad 22. they put the fear of ..... in me not to have kids to young. i find myself sorta in a weirdoness. i'm married, but i don't have kids. don't really want them either. she does. in about a year. hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Yurt
11-17-2007, 11:49 PM
What you want now vs what you want later. That's the thing.

Regret is a sonofabitch. I've NEVER met anyone who regrets ANY of their kids...Most parents can't imagine life w/o 'em.

:)

So I have heard. The paralegal says so almost every day.

retiredman
11-17-2007, 11:51 PM
If your wife really wants kids, and you really don't....you need to re-examine whether or not you really are suited for one another over the long haul. If you refuse her this, what to her is a biological imperative, you will sew the seeds of profound distrust and dissatisfaction.

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:00 AM
If your wife really wants kids, and you really don't....you need to re-examine whether or not you really are suited for one another over the long haul. If you refuse her this, what to her is a biological imperative, you will sew the seeds of profound distrust and dissatisfaction.

RE-READ when she wants kids.

And fuck you.

retiredman
11-18-2007, 12:05 AM
RE-READ when she wants kids.

And fuck you.


a year or two.... that is pretty much right now, really, given human gestation.

and I guess it is no wonder your wife is having issues when you would rather be fucking anonymous men from the internet than her.

stephanie
11-18-2007, 12:09 AM
I am 33 and can't imagine having kids. My wife wants them in about a year or two, latest.

Am I so wrong to not want kids? I am serious. The paralegal, who just had number 2, says kids are GREAT. She loves them. Always talk about her kids......admit, the kids are cute.

I don't know, I feel weird or something because I just don't "feel" kids. The paralegal says that her husband said the same thing, until, they had their own.

Cone fused

I felt the same way...until I had my first...It was and is an amazing experience that you get to see grow through out your life...And I don't mean to make it sound like a science experiment...But in a way that is what it is....:laugh2:

I have two wonderful boys....both I am very proud of...and they are proud of me as a parent...It's a wonderful feeling that you get to see what you created and nurtured from creation to adulthood ...:cheers2:

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:12 AM
I felt the same way...until I had my first...It was and is an amazing experience that you get to see grow through out your life...And I don't mean to make it sound like a science experiment...But in a way that is what it is....:laugh2:

I have two wonderful boys....both I am very proud of...and they are proud of me as their mother...It's a wonderful feeling that you get to see what you created and nurtured throughout your life....:cheers2:

So I have heard. I don't think I am scared, ok, maybe. But, seriously, I don't think I want kids. I asked her last night, she says, hmmm, I do, but if you don't, well, I do, but if you "really" don't.......

*shakes head*

I am seriously confused.

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:13 AM
I think she wants she wants kids, in fact I KNOW it

darin
11-18-2007, 12:18 AM
So I have heard. The paralegal says so almost every day.

if I may ask - does your not-wanting kids, in part stem from your fears of being a 'bad dad'?

chesswarsnow
11-18-2007, 12:23 AM
Sorry bout that,





a year or two.... that is pretty much right now, really, given human gestation.

and I guess it is no wonder your wife is having issues when you would rather be fucking anonymous men from the internet than her.

1. Ahhhhahahahahaha,..........Yurt gets hammered by a Neo~Liberal!!!!!
2. Ah man thats bad!!!,...........
3. Funny thou, carry on,............
4. Its fun when you have brand new rant buddies ain't it???
5. You get to come in and take a crap on a perfectly good thread about how your, *Con~Fused*, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:laugh2:
6. Don't have kids, to expensive!!!!!

Regards,
SirJamesofTexas

Regards,
SirJamesofTexas

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:24 AM
if I may ask - does your not-wanting kids, in part stem from your fears of being a 'bad dad'?

Actually, no. To be honest, it stems from having kids in a time of trouble. Sounds silly to you I am sure. Given your wonderful kids. I have no doubt I would be a good dad, been told that over and over, and over....

I don't know, the world seems crowded. Is this the end of times?

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:26 AM
Sorry bout that,






1. Ahhhhahahahahaha,..........Yurt gets hammered by a Neo~Liberal!!!!!
2. Ah man thats bad!!!,...........
3. Funny thou, carry on,............
4. Its fun when you have brand new rant buddies ain't it???
5. You get to come in and take a crap on a perfectly good thread about how your, *Con~Fused*, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:laugh2:
6. Don't have kids, to expensive!!!!!

Regards,
SirJamesofTexas

Regards,
SirJamesofTexas


You should be banned from this thread.

This is a serious thread.

stephanie
11-18-2007, 12:27 AM
if I may say - your not-wanting kids seems in part to stem from your fears of being a 'bad dad'. You are NOT your parents. You are NOT your dad.

I have to agree...it IS a scary prospect to be totally responsible for another human life who is dependent on you...That's a very human feeling...

But, Me and only my feelings I am speaking for...Once I had my baby...I was hooked.. It gets easier as you go(well untill they get in their teenage yrs...)....Really it does...:cheers2:

darin
11-18-2007, 12:27 AM
You should be banned from this thread.
Done.

darin
11-18-2007, 12:28 AM
Actually, no. To be honest, it stems from having kids in a time of trouble. Sounds silly to you I am sure. Given your wonderful kids. I have no doubt I would be a good dad, been told that over and over, and over....

I don't know, the world seems crowded. Is this the end of times?

Right. Mary goes through that a lot. Thing is, we're people of Faith. There's nothing anyone could do to my children or any suffer they'd have to endure which will compare to the awesomeness they'll find on the other side. Really and truly. :)

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:29 AM
I have to agree...it IS a scary prospect to be totally responsible for another human life who is dependent on you...That's a very human feeling...

But, Me and only my feelings I am speaking for...Once I had my baby...I was hooked.. It gets easier as you go(well untill they get in their teenage yrs...)....Really it does...:cheers2:

Yes.

82Marine89
11-18-2007, 12:31 AM
I am 33 and can't imagine having kids. My wife wants them in about a year or two, latest.

Am I so wrong to not want kids? I am serious. The paralegal, who just had number 2, says kids are GREAT. She loves them. Always talk about her kids......admit, the kids are cute.

I don't know, I feel weird or something because I just don't "feel" kids. The paralegal says that her husband said the same thing, until, they had their own.

Cone fused

I was 33 when my first was born. Didn't think I would ever be a dad. 36 for my second. The first taught me there was a God. The second taught me He has a sense of humor.

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:32 AM
Right. Mary goes through that a lot. Thing is, we're people of Faith. There's nothing anyone could do to my children or any suffer they'd have to endure which will compare to the awesomeness they'll find on the other side. Really and truly. :)

I sometimes don't feel like "people of faith."

I don't understand the rest of your post. Seems to me it is because you have kids. I have heard from many that is "awesome." I just don't see it.

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:33 AM
I was 33 when my first was born. Didn't think I would ever be a dad. 36 for my second. The first taught me there was a God. The second taught me He has a sense of humor.

How old was the mother?

And were you there for the birth? Scares the shitttee out of me just thinking about it

darin
11-18-2007, 12:34 AM
I sometimes don't feel like "people of faith."

I don't understand the rest of your post. Seems to me it is because you have kids. I have heard from many that is "awesome." I just don't see it.


I suppose it teaches you to not base it on 'feelings'. Nobody feels ANYTHING all the time.

It's not just awesome. Awesome is a weird word for it. It's breathtaking and it's pretty neat. It's stressful and a pain in the ass. But when you see them do something for the first time, or see them grow, or FINALLY learn a lesson you've wanted to teach them...it's beyond awesome. It defines you to a degree.


How old was the mother?

And were you there for the birth? Scares the shitttee out of me just thinking about it


lmao! Wuss.

I held mary's right leg over my shoulder (no, that's now how the baby was MADE too) during Alaina's delivery...was "sudden."

Ethan? I pulled him out.

:D

82Marine89
11-18-2007, 12:36 AM
How old was the mother?

And were you there for the birth? Scares the shitttee out of me just thinking about it

Their mom was 28. She was a stripper I knocked up and I felt the honorable thing to do was marry her and be a dad to my kid. The second one was planned.
Yeah, I was there for both the births. I felt so inadequate after seeing that kid come out of her.

82Marine89
11-18-2007, 12:39 AM
BTW, I cut the cord both times and my oldest was there for the birth of her sister. She held her when she was only 15 minutes old and sang Rock-a bye-baby to her. It was priceless.

darin
11-18-2007, 12:39 AM
LOL :) Dude...I wanna marry a stripper too! :)

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:40 AM
dmp;155975]I suppose it teaches you to not base it on 'feelings'. Nobody feels ANYTHING all the time.

ok.


It's not just awesome. Awesome is a weird word for it. It's breathtaking and it's pretty neat. It's stressful and a pain in the ass. But when you see them do something for the first time, or see them grow, or FINALLY learn a lesson you've wanted to teach them...it's beyond awesome. It defines you to a degree.

Neat? Ok. The paralegal says the same thing. Not discounting what you say, just that you and apparently her are right.

I don't understand "defines" me. To be honest in my 20's (weird) I thought that I must have child to do exactly what you said. I am not so sure.

Honestly, does it take a kid to define me?

82Marine89
11-18-2007, 12:41 AM
LOL :) Dude...I wanna marry a stripper too! :)

No, you don't. They're easy on the eyes, hard on the brain, and murder on the wallet after a divorce.

darin
11-18-2007, 12:42 AM
.

Honestly, does it take a kid to define me?

Not at all...it's just...staring down at your own eyes looking back at you defines you in a way unlike any other. :)

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:42 AM
I suppose it teaches you to not base it on 'feelings'. Nobody feels ANYTHING all the time.

It's not just awesome. Awesome is a weird word for it. It's breathtaking and it's pretty neat. It's stressful and a pain in the ass. But when you see them do something for the first time, or see them grow, or FINALLY learn a lesson you've wanted to teach them...it's beyond awesome. It defines you to a degree.




lmao! Wuss.
I held mary's right leg over my shoulder (no, that's now how the baby was MADE too) during Alaina's delivery...was "sudden."

Ethan? I pulled him out.

:D


Yeah, tough guy, well, the paralegal's husband IS a marine and he said the same thing I said, of course and until, it was HIS kid. Then he was there all the way.

EDIT:

upon re read of post, I think I was a bit harsh and DMP gave me good advice

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:44 AM
Their mom was 28. She was a stripper I knocked up and I felt the honorable thing to do was marry her and be a dad to my kid. The second one was planned.
Yeah, I was there for both the births. I felt so inadequate after seeing that kid come out of her.

ok

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:45 AM
Not at all...it's just...staring down at your own eyes looking back at you defines you in a way unlike any other. :)

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

hmmmmmm

yeah, i guess they are your own eyes. never thought of it like that.

82Marine89
11-18-2007, 12:46 AM
.


Honestly, does it take a kid to define me?

No, a kid doesn't define you. In my case, they completed me. There is a side of me that no one knew existed. It's that guy you see in my avatar. I love my girls and I dote on them. I'm strict but I allow them to have fun. Their mom always got mad because she said I loved them more than her. She was right, I did. My girls taught me a type of love that I had never felt before.

Mr. P
11-18-2007, 12:52 AM
34 when my daughter was born the wife 30.

It's TOTALLY life changing...If you don't want kids...don't.

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:52 AM
No, a kid doesn't define you. In my case, they completed me. There is a side of me that no one knew existed. It's that guy you see in my avatar. I love my girls and I dote on them. I'm strict but I allow them to have fun. Their mom always got mad because she said I loved them more than her. She was right, I did. My girls taught me a type of love that I had never felt before.

Your avi is a guerilla?.....

ok, so, not to be to personal, but did you plan? i have TBO, I can't imagine my wife pregnant. i guess i have hang ups. i want to kayak and not worry about kids.

i sound selfish.

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:54 AM
34 when my daughter was born the wife 30.

It's TOTALLY life changing...If you don't want kids...don't.

Alright, she does.

stephanie
11-18-2007, 12:55 AM
No, a kid doesn't define you. In my case, they completed me. There is a side of me that no one knew existed. It's that guy you see in my avatar. I love my girls and I dote on them. I'm strict but I allow them to have fun. Their mom always got mad because she said I loved them more than her. She was right, I did. My girls taught me a type of love that I had never felt before.

so very true...:clap:

Yurt
11-18-2007, 12:58 AM
Not at all...it's just...staring down at your own eyes looking back at you defines you in a way unlike any other. :)

Honestly, I don't understand.

Mr. P
11-18-2007, 12:59 AM
Alright, she does.

Ya gotta problem.

Yurt
11-18-2007, 01:01 AM
Ya gotta problem.

I madda da thread, :poke:

Yurt
11-18-2007, 01:06 AM
Look, this thread was not to poke fun or whatever. It is a serious question and issue in my life. I admit, having a kid scares me. I admit, I would rather kayak, drive my (soon to be) bimmer and have "my" weekends.

As I said, sounds selfish. Sounds that way to me too. I am opening up. That is all.

Thanks

stephanie
11-18-2007, 01:08 AM
Honestly, I don't understand.

I believe what he is saying...is once you look into that babies eyes that is created in the same image of you....You will never forget that first impression...

Sweetie not everyone is cut out to have children...don't feel bad if you are one of those...I think what most of is trying to tell you, we all felt the way you did at one time in our life...Our experiences all turned out great and we loved it...

The choice is yours and only yours to make....It doesnt make you less of the wonderful person we have come to know...:cheers2:

82Marine89
11-18-2007, 01:09 AM
Your avi is a guerilla?.....

ok, so, not to be to personal, but did you plan? i have TBO, I can't imagine my wife pregnant. i guess i have hang ups. i want to kayak and not worry about kids.

i sound selfish.

Didn't plan the first one, but I'm not complaining. As for being pregnant, I think pregnant women look great.

Kids definitely change your life. As a part time dad it has changed since I was married to their mom. I have more free time now than I did then.

As for the avi, that's the person I am when I'm with my girls. Just a big old happy guy.

Mr. P
11-18-2007, 01:11 AM
I madda da thread, :poke:

I know...I should have said it's a marriage problem...no?

She wants...you don't..That's a biggy bud.

Forget the 'at this time in history' stuff...you have no control on that one.
And it's no excuse..you either want kids or you don't.

Either way is fine in the end...as long as the spouse agrees.

82Marine89
11-18-2007, 01:16 AM
Look, this thread was not to poke fun or whatever. It is a serious question and issue in my life. I admit, having a kid scares me. I admit, I would rather kayak, drive my (soon to be) bimmer and have "my" weekends.

As I said, sounds selfish. Sounds that way to me too. I am opening up. That is all.

Thanks

It takes a big man to say what you did. Kudos to you. :clap:

jackass
11-18-2007, 02:01 PM
Actually, no. To be honest, it stems from having kids in a time of trouble. Sounds silly to you I am sure. Given your wonderful kids. I have no doubt I would be a good dad, been told that over and over, and over....

I don't know, the world seems crowded. Is this the end of times?

I used to think about things such as why would ANYONE want to bring kids into this world right now? Ive learned that this world NEEDS kids like ours. If we dont teach our kids the correct way to do things then what kids will be running this country? Your neighbors kids? The kid down the street? Yikes!! Dont let that be the reason you are afraid to be a dad. Kids are too much joy to let something as little as that keep you from enjoying the most rewarding job you will ever have.
On the other hand, my sis-in-law and her hubby said that they didnt want kids. They are DINKS living the good life doing WHATEVER they want to do. They havent decided to have kids, but they arent protecting themselves from it anymore either. Maybe you can try that. If its meant to be then its meant to be. Either way....Good luck!

Joan
11-18-2007, 02:26 PM
Look back in history, time were really bad many times then also. I had my first baby at 22 and like the week after we brought him home we had the bay of pigs invasion. My others were not planned. There were difficult times of course, but the joys certainly outweighed the difficulties - that is until John and James appeared on the scene! All kidding aside, the older you get, the more of a blessing children are to you.

82Marine89
11-18-2007, 02:31 PM
Look back in history, time were really bad many times then also. I had my first baby at 22 and like the week after we brought him home we had the bay of pigs invasion. My others were not planned. There were difficult times of course, but the joys certainly outweighed the difficulties - that is until John and James appeared on the scene! All kidding aside, the older you get, the more of a blessing children are to you.

How can you plan for something like Jimmy? :poke::laugh2:

Said1
11-18-2007, 02:42 PM
I sometimes don't feel like "people of faith."

I don't understand the rest of your post. Seems to me it is because you have kids. I have heard from many that is "awesome." I just don't see it.

Of course you don't see it. And honestly, no one will be able to convey what having a child means to them, in a way you'll understand. Ever. We can draw certain examples, but that wil never paint an acurate picture. It's something you have to experience to understand - no one can convince you, you have to find out on your own. Bite the bullet and have faith in what people tell you. Like someon said, your wife probably wants a baby NOW. :laugh2:

I have the exact same conversation with a co-worker, often. he argues every possible angle and I keep saying the same thing over and over - 'your present feelings wont' likely change until you experience parenthood first hand. Just shut up and do it.' :laugh2:

Cheyenne
11-18-2007, 02:50 PM
I understand your fear and the issues you have; which are legitimate.

There has been some very good points made in this thread pertaining to parenthood. It is an awesome self-sacrificing task; something which needs to be taken extremely seriously; something that more people need to think about. I commend you for giving it the thought it deserves.

So many of us are here because of accidents, an unplanned pregnancy; but usually not a regret. Tho' dmp said he's never met anyone who's been sorry for having children, I have.

IF you are certain that you do not want children then something permanent needs to be done because as long as you're having sex, there is a chance of pregnancy. How are you going to deal with that???

May I advise that you & your wife speak to someone professional about this issue. If she so desperately wants babies and you do not, then this can cause some real problems of resentment, guilt, anger. It will also help you understand more clearly.

jackass
11-18-2007, 03:14 PM
Oh yeah..BOTH of mine were not planned, but I wouldnt change it ever!

About how being a parent makes you feel. I didnt know what REAL love was until I had my kids. It was at that moment you really know that you would do ANYTHING to keep this perfect little bundle safe.
My wife says the same thing to me about me loving the kids more than I do her..and I do. I hope she does also!

Cheyenne
11-18-2007, 03:21 PM
Oh yeah..BOTH of mine were not planned, but I wouldnt change it ever!

About how being a parent makes you feel. I didnt know what REAL love was until I had my kids. It was at that moment you really know that you would do ANYTHING to keep this perfect little bundle safe.
My wife says the same thing to me about me loving the kids more than I do her..and I do. I hope she does also!

It is remarkable how, at that moment of birth, you are transformed. Similar to what happens when you repeat marriage vows.

I have heard comments like your wife's before. A spouse may feel left out when you put your children first. But they are children.
If done correctly, children grow up, become responsible adults, make a life for themselves. Make sure you & your wife preserve what is between the two of you to withstand the impending 'empty nest'.

jackass
11-18-2007, 03:23 PM
Make sure you & your wife preserve what is between the two of you to withstand the impending 'empty nest'.

I have a long time for that :D

With my family, I dont ever see an empty nest!

Cheyenne
11-18-2007, 03:27 PM
I have a long time for that :D

With my family, I dont ever see an empty nest!
Yes, but what you sow now, you reap later. If you do not sow the seeds of friendship, compatibility, romance, you will one day, look at each other and wonder why the two of you live in the same house with each other.

manu1959
11-18-2007, 03:39 PM
Yurt,

i vowed never to get married and to never have children.....had had bets with my university chums .... i won every bet i was the most selfish self centered person you would ever meet ...... then i met my wife .....

i married in 95 at 35 wife was 30 ..... my son arrived 9 years ago and my daughter 5 years ago .....

my wife made me a better man my children a better human being.....

listen to your wife ..... you will be better for it ......

59

mrg666
11-18-2007, 04:25 PM
they will cause you more grief than you can ever imagine .but you will look back and say it was worth it , the memories alone are priceless , the longer you leave it the more unfair to the kid(s) you need to be young to join in some of the stuff they want to do .

Trigg
11-18-2007, 08:09 PM
Look, this thread was not to poke fun or whatever. It is a serious question and issue in my life. I admit, having a kid scares me. I admit, I would rather kayak, drive my (soon to be) bimmer and have "my" weekends.

As I said, sounds selfish. Sounds that way to me too. I am opening up. That is all.

Thanks


I think most people go through a period of wondering if they can be responsible for the upbringing of another person. A baby is totally dependent on it's parents. SCARY.

All the people here can tell you are the feelind me had when our kids came along. Will you loose the "me" time, yes. You'll gain those firsts though, first tooth, first step, they're amazing.

BTW, my oldest is now 14 and my youngest is 5, I had my first just shy of my 24th birthday. Now my husband takes my son to practice driving and we're thinking of college. Which makes me weepy just thinking of him moving out.

My sisters went though your situation. She absolutally didn't want kids and her husband did. She doted on her cats. Two years ago she had twins and wishes she had had them earlier, she's 39.

After all the advise you get here this really is only going to get decided between you and your wife. Here is your question. Is she going to regret, later in life, not having children? Is that regret going to sour your marriage?

5stringJeff
11-18-2007, 08:29 PM
Yurt, as I type this, I have my 4-month old in my lap. He was unplanned, my wife gave birth to him at age 35 (I was just shy of 31), he cries all the time, and since the entire family is sick after a weekend "family vacation," and I'm the least sick, I get to look after him as he cries, as he always does about this time of night. But I don't regret it for one second, and I can say with 99.99999% accuracy that you will not either.

So go get your wife pregnant already... or at least go practice some more! :D

Mr. P
11-18-2007, 09:29 PM
Yurt, as I type this, I have my 4-month old in my lap. He was unplanned, my wife gave birth to him at age 35 (I was just shy of 31), he cries all the time, and since the entire family is sick after a weekend "family vacation," and I'm the least sick, I get to look after him as he cries, as he always does about this time of night. But I don't regret it for one second, and I can say with 99.99999% accuracy that you will not either.

So go get your wife pregnant already... or at least go practice some more! :D

xcus me...no you can't...no one can do that. Not that I disagree..but..:slap:

Cheyenne
11-18-2007, 09:30 PM
[Again] all of this advice & comments are good. But these are from people who planned on having a family someday. They may have started their marriage off with a baby, or they may have tried for years to get pregnant, but they still wanted children.
You have yet to make that decision. And only you can make it.

Mr. P
11-18-2007, 09:34 PM
[Again] all of this advice & comments are good. But these are from people who planned on having a family someday. They may have started their marriage off with a baby, or they may have tried for years to get pregnant, but they still wanted children.
You have yet to make that decision. And only you can make it.

No planning here...just happened..welcome but...not planned.

Said1
11-18-2007, 09:36 PM
No planning here...just happened..welcome but...not planned.

Same here. :laugh2:

Cheyenne
11-18-2007, 10:05 PM
No planning here...just happened..welcome but...not planned.

So you're saying that you never gave parenthood a thought until you had no choice? You never thought about what would happen should you become pregnant? You may not have planned on it, but you didn't recoil in fear & disgust, either.

5stringJeff
11-18-2007, 10:39 PM
xcus me...no you can't...no one can do that. Not that I disagree..but..:slap:

Yeah, I know. The point I was trying to get at was that I have no regrets about having kids, and I've never talked to anyone with kids who regretted having them.

Mr. P
11-19-2007, 01:33 AM
So you're saying that you never gave parenthood a thought until you had no choice?
No, I didn't say that.


You never thought about what would happen should you become pregnant?

Of course I did.


You may not have planned on it, but you didn't recoil in fear & disgust, either.
Why would I?

Cheyenne
11-19-2007, 09:48 AM
No, I didn't say that.
Of course I did.
Why would I?You highlighted 'not planned to have a family'. I guess I misunderstood.
Most people get married with the intent of procreating....someday. Maybe not when it happens but most times children are in the future. And you did think about what it would be like to be a parent. So has Yurt. He isn't sure he wants that job.
The rewards are great; there is heartache too, with some. Children teach us about love, sacrifice & unselfishness. Some of us learn better than others.

Abbey Marie
11-19-2007, 11:01 AM
Yurt, take this with a grain of salt, as I know little about psychology, but I think the fact that you asked about it here, means you want to hear reasons why you should have children. You at least subconsciously must have known that most of us would make positive statements about having children.

Abbey Marie
11-19-2007, 11:02 AM
You highlighted 'not planned to have a family'. I guess I misunderstood.
Most people get married with the intent of procreating....someday. Maybe not when it happens but most times children are in the future. And you did think about what it would be like to be a parent. So has Yurt. He isn't sure he wants that job.
The rewards are great; there is heartache too, with some. Children teach us about love, sacrifice & unselfishness. Some of us learn better than others.

They also teach us not to expect any rewards or appreciation from the children for all the sacrifice, but appreciate it when they do occur.

Yurt
11-19-2007, 11:00 PM
My thanks to all. It helped.

:)

huglover21
11-20-2007, 03:45 PM
Hi there, my name is
abagail, and i would have to say that i love kids, always have always will, they may take alot of time to take care of, and they are work, but i have one of my own, it didnt exactly happen like i wanted it too, but oh well, i still love him to death, he is 1 year old now, his name is jacob, and right now, im staying with a friend, im his room mate, and we are good friends, he owns his own business, he is a wielder, and his business is called infinate possibilities, you can find his business in the phone book under wielders, its at the bottom, he is an excelent wielder, he is looking for people that would like things wielded, he can make all kinds of items, metal art, and so on, anything made out of metal, if you are interested in metal, give him a call, his name is Ray Mroczkowski, hes a certified wielder, or you can email him at www.iprayski48@yahoo.com (http://www.iprayski48@yahoo.com) and check out his sight at www.ipphotos.blogspot.com (http://www.ipphotos.blogspot.com) im considered like his secertary, and i help him out alot but anyway, any one interested you can also give him a call, his number is in the phone book, or on his blog, he has a myspace account, but if u are interested, you will have to be his friend to view his work, but im sure you all can find him just fine, well, anyway, back to my kid, i had jacob, my son, by having too much fun hanging out with guys, and well, had a one night stand, and well, got pregnant, but you should see him, hes amazing, he looks like the gerber baby, i would greatly appreciate anyone that would be interested in Rays business, it means alot to me, email me here, or at whiteabby2000@yahoo.com if u decide to give him a call, just leave a message, and he will get back to you ok, you all have a very nice day, God Bless, and have a happy thanks giving and happy holiday....peace PS. I will be posting new pics of me and my baby on here when i get a chance to get some photos taken, and well, show you a recent pic of me and my baby, any everyone have a nice day, chow

Mr. P
11-20-2007, 03:56 PM
Wow..Is this a payed add or did ya just sprinkle in the kid for good measure? Geeeeeeezzzzzzzzzz

actsnoblemartin
11-20-2007, 06:17 PM
Dont listen to the breeders. Having kids is a hassle, and a life altering responsiblity.

you are NOT wrong for not wanting kids.

In fact many more people today, men and women dont want kids

Tell your wife no kids.

and if she doesnt budge, tell her to take a hike


I am 33 and can't imagine having kids. My wife wants them in about a year or two, latest.

Am I so wrong to not want kids? I am serious. The paralegal, who just had number 2, says kids are GREAT. She loves them. Always talk about her kids......admit, the kids are cute.

I don't know, I feel weird or something because I just don't "feel" kids. The paralegal says that her husband said the same thing, until, they had their own.

Cone fused

Yurt
11-20-2007, 08:06 PM
I am not going to tell my wife to take a hike. TBO, that was uncalled for.

Also, maybe I did not make myself clear, it is not that I have forever decided to not have kids, I just can't see it right "now."

TBO, I sometimes think that if I were more financially stable and my career was a bit more stable, I might also have a different outlook. I am just in a weird spot in my life right now.

Jeep Driver
11-20-2007, 09:27 PM
Yurt ole buddy
How can I ever tell you how it will be when they put your son or daughter
In your hands . Because they will be yours . from you. Yours!
I will tell you this .
You will be a different person right there on the spot. Nothing you ever promised yourself before will matter.
You will change in a matter of minutes.To super dad.
The instinct to preserve, protect, provide. Will come over you like a landslide.
"This is no Bullshit."
You are in for the ride of your life.
It will take everything you got. It will forge you on the anvil of Manhood.
I have seen a lot of shit in my life . And I really should not be here .
I have seen my life flash before my eyes more than a couple of times.
I had a death wish when I was in my 20's reaching for ever higher levels of
pride and achevement . Being a soldier . Thank You US Army!
But if your a Good Dad , You have my Respect!

actsnoblemartin
11-20-2007, 09:57 PM
sorry mate, I misunderstood you. Youre wife is going to have to accept that youre not ready for kids, and you need to tell her not to pressure you, but when youre ready youll tell her

ok mate?

:salute:


I am not going to tell my wife to take a hike. TBO, that was uncalled for.

Also, maybe I did not make myself clear, it is not that I have forever decided to not have kids, I just can't see it right "now."

TBO, I sometimes think that if I were more financially stable and my career was a bit more stable, I might also have a different outlook. I am just in a weird spot in my life right now.

Yurt
11-20-2007, 11:42 PM
sorry mate, I misunderstood you. Youre wife is going to have to accept that youre not ready for kids, and you need to tell her not to pressure you, but when youre ready youll tell her

ok mate?

:salute:

Enough with my personal life. I appreciate all the replies as I mentioned a few posts above. thank you.

No one is forcing me. I never said that, never gave that impression. I only sought advice on having kids. I may have mentioned my wifes feelings, but in was in passing with regards to the overall issue, NOT her demands. She has none. She wants kids, but she has NOT demanded them. Let us be clear on that.

I would like to leave this thread as it is, now. I will not post anything more here. If others want to, more power to you. I sought advice and advice was received and advice helped.

For me: end of story

Abbey Marie
11-20-2007, 11:56 PM
Enough with my personal life. I appreciate all the replies as I mentioned a few posts above. thank you.

No one is forcing me. I never said that, never gave that impression. I only sought advice on having kids. I may have mentioned my wifes feelings, but in was in passing with regards to the overall issue, NOT her demands. She has none. She wants kids, but she has NOT demanded them. Let us be clear on that.

I would like to leave this thread as it is, now. I will not post anything more here. If others want to, more power to you. I sought advice and advice was received and advice helped.

For me: end of story

Taken care of, Yurt.