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View Full Version : Politically Correct Holiday Wishes (with warranty)



Abbey Marie
11-28-2007, 03:32 PM
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

May you have a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped to make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, political belief, sexual preferences, or gender identity of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for themselves, herself, himself, itself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)

http://www.manbottle.com/humor/politically_correct_holiday_wishes_with_warrantee

darin
11-28-2007, 04:12 PM
I love it. I'm saddened, but I love it. :)

Hagbard Celine
11-28-2007, 04:18 PM
Yep, I agree. It's pretty stupid when people b*tch and whine about which salutation people use to greet them. :cool:

darin
11-28-2007, 04:25 PM
I got an email from my father in law "calling christians to action!" because Old Navy writes "Happy Holidays" - somehow, that's an attack on Christmas, and Christians should care.

(sigh). I keep coming back to "Jesus never celebrated Christmas, what's the big deal?"

Hagbard Celine
11-28-2007, 04:32 PM
I got an email from my father in law "calling christians to action!" because Old Navy writes "Happy Holidays" - somehow, that's an attack on Christmas, and Christians should care.

(sigh). I keep coming back to "Jesus never celebrated Christmas, what's the big deal?"

Don't feel bad. He probably saw the call to action and just forwarded it without giving it much thought.

darin
11-28-2007, 04:36 PM
...that's what tends to happen. :-/

Pale Rider
11-28-2007, 05:18 PM
I honestly believe that political correctness is sometimes pushed by people that only want to see if they can get away with it, like a joke, because the majority of it is just that foolish.

Hobbit
11-28-2007, 05:29 PM
"You, boy, what day is it?"
"Why, it's generic non-denomenational gender-nonspecific racially inclusive holiday day, sir!"
"Then I'm not too late. Take this sack of money and go buy that huge block of tofu in the store window and take it down to the Cratchit family house, presenting it to whatever matriarch, patriarch, or other, gender non-specific representative authority presents him/her/itself!"
...
"Higher power as we deem appropriate by our own definitions but whatever you choose is cool too, bless us, everyone!" Said Vertically Challenged Tim, the last of all.

Edited because I found better lines.

Edit: There, fixed.

Hagbard Celine
11-28-2007, 06:00 PM
"You, boy, what day is it?"
"Why, it's generic non-denomenational gender-nonspecific racially inclusive holiday day, sir!"
"Then I'm not too late. Take this sack of money and go buy that huge block of tofu in the store window and take it down to Bob Cratchit's house!"
...
"Higher power as we deem appropriate by our own definitions but whatever you choose is cool too, bless us, everyone!" Said Vertically Challenged Tim, the last of all.

Edited because I found better lines.

"Bob Cratchit" is a gender specific nomenclature. :poke: