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Thread: Very scared now

  1. #1
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    Default Very scared now

    I generally have the most faith in doctors and don't second guess their abilities. When I had surgery on my neck/back, any negative consequences never really entered my mind. Sure, I knew it was possible I would have further issues with the disc down the road, but I knew I was walking away from the hospital the very same day, and never thought otherwise.

    It's now confirmed that my Mom will be going in for open heart surgery tomorrow. She has multiple blockages and will be having her aortic valve replaced. I was worried enough about this procedure but for some reason reading Wikipedia's entry made me much more nervous - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aortic_valve_replacement

    I guess I assumed if I blocked out all of the bad stuff it would ultimately disappear, but it's not. This surgery alone scares the shit out of me when I read it, but it's worse knowing she is a very high risk patient with severe emphysema and failing health.

    When I speak with her I know I need to remain strong, but she is obviously the most scared out of anyone, and you can hear the trembling and fear in her voice. When I listen to her I get nervous and don't know what to say. I just keep telling her that this is what these surgeons do on a daily basis and she couldn't be in better hands, but I don't think that does anything to lower either of our fears. She's a very scared/emotional person to begin with.
    “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?” - Chris Rock

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    WOW, Jim. Scary. Have faith brother.
    “… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.

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    Many of us have already said this before jimnyc, but our prayers are with your mom and you and your family. Keep the faith. Be strong.

    Please let your mom know of our prayers and that we look forward to her return to the board.

    Immie
    For it is by Grace you have been saved, through faith -- and this not of yourselves, it is the gift of God -- not by works, so that no one can boast. Eph 2:8-9

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    Jim, you've got her into the best hospital possible; without the surgery the prognosis is not good. You have absolutely done your very best, as a family and as a loving son.

    With the surgery there is the possibility she can regain some semblance of normalcy, without it? You must walk yourself through these items, so that you can be strong and help her to be positive. My heart breaks for all of you.

    Emphysema can be funny, I've come to believe doctors and nurses often use it to bash the smokers, causing much stress going into a situation like this. I've got the shirt after coping with my own folks. My mom's was bad however, after a year on oxygen, with no major complications, her oxygen levels had risen to where it was no longer necessary. Any time she was hospitalized after that, they put her on oxygen and gave the breathing treatments. Every time she was released, oxygen was no longer prescribed.

    Take heart, you've done your best and she has so many prayers and good wishes coming her way, you too!


    "The government is a child that has found their parents credit card, and spends knowing that they never have to reconcile the bill with their own money"-Shannon Churchill


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    Jim,

    I feel your anguish as my wounds are still fresh. It sounds as though your mom is in very good hands. You have done and continue to do all you can, my thoughts are with you and your family.
    "I am allergic to piety, it makes me break out in rash judgements." - Penn Jillette
    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with a lot of pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
    "The man who invented the telescope found out more about heaven than the closed eyes of prayer ever discovered." - Robert G. Ingersoll

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    Jim
    If it helps any, my mom had open heart surgery, and lived a normal life for about 20 more years afterward.

    My husband and I will pray for Joan, and for you, too, today and tomorrow.
    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimnyc View Post
    I generally have the most faith in doctors and don't second guess their abilities. When I had surgery on my neck/back, any negative consequences never really entered my mind. Sure, I knew it was possible I would have further issues with the disc down the road, but I knew I was walking away from the hospital the very same day, and never thought otherwise.

    It's now confirmed that my Mom will be going in for open heart surgery tomorrow. She has multiple blockages and will be having her aortic valve replaced. I was worried enough about this procedure but for some reason reading Wikipedia's entry made me much more nervous - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aortic_valve_replacement

    I guess I assumed if I blocked out all of the bad stuff it would ultimately disappear, but it's not. This surgery alone scares the shit out of me when I read it, but it's worse knowing she is a very high risk patient with severe emphysema and failing health.

    When I speak with her I know I need to remain strong, but she is obviously the most scared out of anyone, and you can hear the trembling and fear in her voice. When I listen to her I get nervous and don't know what to say. I just keep telling her that this is what these surgeons do on a daily basis and she couldn't be in better hands, but I don't think that does anything to lower either of our fears. She's a very scared/emotional person to begin with.
    If it were me Jim, I'd be asking her surgeon how many times he has done this procedure... I'd also be getting a 2nd and 3rd opinion too...

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    Quote Originally Posted by -Cp View Post
    If it were me Jim, I'd be asking her surgeon how many times he has done this procedure... I'd also be getting a 2nd and 3rd opinion too...
    I have to agree. Don't get opinions about heart surgery from cardiac surgeons. It's like asking a Carpenter if you should add another bedroom on to your home. Get your opinions from cardiologists, then pick the best surgeon you can find.
    "If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen."
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    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    Quote Originally Posted by -Cp View Post
    If it were me Jim, I'd be asking her surgeon how many times he has done this procedure... I'd also be getting a 2nd and 3rd opinion too...
    Having read some from both Jim and his brother, they have had multiple opinions and moved their mom from one hospital to a major medical specialty hospital. Really, it's past time to say prayers and support those we care about. I know not everyone has even the basics, but let's not cause further stress. Please.


    "The government is a child that has found their parents credit card, and spends knowing that they never have to reconcile the bill with their own money"-Shannon Churchill


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    Quote Originally Posted by Kathianne View Post
    Having read some from both Jim and his brother, they have had multiple opinions and moved their mom from one hospital to a major medical specialty hospital. Really, it's past time to say prayers and support those we care about. I know not everyone has even the basics, but let's not cause further stress. Please.
    Kath, that was my impression too. I think they have already done all the leg work, and the decision has been made with knowledge.
    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

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    I'm sorry, Jim. I can't even imagine how tough this is on everyone. I'll keep your mom in my thoughts, I hope everything works out.
    Free the West Memphis 3.... http://www.wm3.org

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    You guys will be in my prayers.
    If we were as industrious to become good as to make ourselves great, we should become really great by being good, and the number of valuable men would be much increased; but it is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness; and i pronounce it as certain that there was never yet a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." - Ben Franklin

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    Jim...my wife works for a cardiology group. they do valve replacements all the time and the surgery has a really good success rate. I know you are scared but heart surgeons are really pretty high on the surgery pecking order.

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    I hope that all goes well and that the surgery is a resounding success.

    You and your family will be in my thoughts.
    "Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views." William F Buckley, Jr

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    Mom did in fact receive a 2nd and 3rd opinion, which is why she was moved to St. Michael's in Newark, which is a specialty cardiac care hospital. Now I obviously don't know the surgeon personally, but he comes highly regarded across the nation as one of the best in the business, and his specialty is high risk cardiac surgery. While he is performing the procedure, she has a team of specialists involved and the cardiologist is the primary in charge. But she also has a lung specialist as well and all will be on hand for the surgery.

    My brother just informed me that the surgery is scheduled for 6:30am tomorrow, so I'll likely be heading out shortly to stay at his place as he is only a few minutes away from the hospital. They said we needed to be there by 6am the latest if we wanted to chat with her before she goes in.
    “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?” - Chris Rock

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