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  1. #1
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    Default Why women are crabby...

    My grandma sent this to me and it was too funny not to share!

    Why Women Are Crabby

    We started to 'bud' in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

    Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

    Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

    Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

    Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

    Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, 'Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10),' warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

    After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that 'cute' wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

    Then come their 'Teen Years.' Need I say more?
    When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

    So we progress into the grand finale: 'The Menopause ,' the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned 'buds' or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

    Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

    So, while I love being a woman, 'Womanhood' would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the 'weaker sex'? Yeah right. Bite me.

  2. #2
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    god I love being a man
    If you also agree that an animals suffering should be avoided rather than encouraged, consider what steps you can take.

  3. #3
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    two points:

    1)Women are crabby before any of that stuff starts.
    2)Men have it rougher. We have to deal with women.
    If we were as industrious to become good as to make ourselves great, we should become really great by being good, and the number of valuable men would be much increased; but it is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness; and i pronounce it as certain that there was never yet a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." - Ben Franklin

    Imagine what good we can do if we all joined together, united as followers of Christ - M. Russell Ballard

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by avatar4321 View Post
    two points:

    1)Women are crabby before any of that stuff starts.
    2)Men have it rougher. We have to deal with women.
    Great points! You beat me to it.
    "If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen."
    Samuel Adams


    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by avatar4321 View Post
    2)Men have it rougher. We have to deal with women.
    1. You personally don't have to experience ANY of the above.
    2. You can most times CHOOSE to "deal" with women.

  6. #6
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    Absolutely hilarious Fuzzy!!!!!!!!

  7. #7
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    but the real reason that women are crabby is cus, they can be, they've got the boobies, so it doesn't matter how crabby they are men will endure it for some boobie action.
    Last edited by Noir; 10-06-2008 at 02:12 PM.
    If you also agree that an animals suffering should be avoided rather than encouraged, consider what steps you can take.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Noir View Post
    but the real reason that women are crabby is cus, they can be, they've got the boobies, so it doesn't matter how crabby they are men will endure it for some boobie action.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noir View Post
    god I love being a man
    me too

  10. #10
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    trust me, we have to deal with women

    Quote Originally Posted by FuzzyKitten99 View Post
    1. You personally don't have to experience ANY of the above.
    2. You can most times CHOOSE to "deal" with women.

  11. #11
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    I used to joke that I'm coming back as a tall, good looking, intelligent man, or I'm not coming back at all. Now, I think I'll call it quits either way.

    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

  12. #12
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    Women are crabby because they have to suffer the fools that are men. Looks at many of the posts on this board. Many are many by stupid men.
    More proof that women think with the big head and men think with their small head.

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    Quote Originally Posted by gabosaurus View Post
    Women are crabby because they have to suffer the fools that are men. Looks at many of the posts on this board. Many are many by stupid men.
    More proof that women think with the big head and men think with their small head.
    dinosaurs had big heads....
    Before enlightenment - chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment - chop wood, carry water. ~Zen Buddhist Proverb

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    true



    Quote Originally Posted by gabosaurus View Post
    Women are crabby because they have to suffer the fools that are men. Looks at many of the posts on this board. Many are many by stupid men.
    More proof that women think with the big head and men think with their small head.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yurt View Post
    dinosaurs had big heads....
    And big ding-a-lings.

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