Should I believe the results of the tests or should I argue it?

[KitchenKitten99]

Back in January, Nathan's teachers said they noticed a few behaviors that might indicate Autism. I was shocked and to say the least, pretty upset. I figured we would have him tested anyhow, just to rule it out, because I feel deep down that he isn't. His hearing was the reason for his not speaking clearly. He would talk to you, but it would be like he was speaking a foreign language. We got tubes in last april, and got him enrolled in ECSE and his speech has drastically improved. It still isn't 100%, and he still sometimes has trouble communicating verbally, but it is a complete 180 from this time last year.

So then about 2-3 weeks ago, we had him tested. Not privately, but by the school psychologist. She stated that based on the interview with me, the in-room test, and her observances of him in his classroom, he is on 'the spectrum' as they say. She called me last Friday to tell me this so it would apparently not come as a shock at Nathan's conferences this thursday. I asked her to list some of the things he does, and the stuff she told me were things that either myself or my husband did as children.

To me, he functions normally as compared to other kids his age, other than his speech and some communication. I feel that because he had difficulty hearing for a good part of the time he would have developed speech, he is behind kids his age verbally and emotionally, but I see him catching up every day. His speech is much clearer and I can ask him things and he'll respond appropriately most of the time. Actual back & forth conversations are not quite there, but I feel he will get there with time, as he only turns 4 in August.

We also plan on having him tested privately, but I have no idea when that will be since the place that will do it, has a waiting list, and I just left a message to have them call me to get on it.

I guess my question is, am I right to question the diagnosis of Nathan, based on a few tests (that I feel have several flaws) and an interview with me, because the psychologist is employed by the school district? My reasoning is that I don't want to make it seem,like I am getting defensive, but at the same time, I kind of question their motive when I know that for every child that gets labeled a certain special need/disorder, they get more funding. I don't want that to stop me from accepting that Nathan may very well be high-functioning autistic. Either way, he will receive extra assistance and intervention, and I suppose that won't hurt, but I don't feel that he really is Autistic, unless that is just me being in denial. We even have my in-laws coming to the conference on thursday, for several reasons, one of which is my FIL who can provide proof and evidence of my husband's behaviors as a child since he can't remember that far back-and he has this uncanny ability to point out flaws and reasons for things where others wouldn't normally see them. And to also get an understanding so that if they have any questions, they can directly ask the teachers instead of us having to explain it.

I dunno. Am I just in denial, or is my feeling when I see him play and do the things they say he doesn't do correct in that the diagnosis is wrong for my child. I guess I think that just because he exhibits similar behaviors doesn't mean he is. Just because i like many activities that are typical of men, doesn't mean I am a lesbian or bisexual. So why is this any different?

I have been an emotional rollercoaster this weekend because of all this. I do have support from a few people I know who have Autistic children, and people who work with both children and adults (one of which is Tim's aunt) who are Autistic. So it isn't like I have no support system. But I can't seem to grasp whether my feeling is just denial and don't want to accept the truth, or if it really means that I am correct and he is not. Tim doesn't believe it either.

[krisy]

Fuzzy,I have an autistic nephew. Believe me,we knew he was autisitc. He was in his own world,literally. He is 19 now, and can write and read and communicate somewhat. Your son doesn't sound anywhere near him,but I know there can be different levels.


I think your have every right to get evaluted more,before going on with this diagnosis. I'm curious what his doctor thinks? Does his speech therapist have any opinions?

[KitchenKitten99]

Fuzzy,I have an autistic nephew. Believe me,we knew he was autisitc. He was in his own world,literally. He is 19 now, and can write and read and communicate somewhat. Your son doesn't sound anywhere near him,but I know there can be different levels.


I think your have every right to get evaluted more,before going on with this diagnosis. I'm curious what his doctor thinks? Does his speech therapist have any opinions?

i don't know what his doctor thinks as I don't think I have ever brought it up. He had his 3 year check up last fall, but this just came up in january. His speech therapist is part of his preschool setting, which is through ECSE, through the school district. Nathan is not really in 'his own world' any more than any other 3yo. At least from what I see. He is more self-reliant for playing because he wasn't around other kids much while younger so we helped him to entertain himself when we weren't able to play with him. Even in his daycare, he was the only child for a while, due to the lady watching him being a friend of the family, and retired, so she did it for extra money. He loves to play with other kids, and just today, I heard him calling to the other kids to 'come on, come here' outside.

[jackass]

Fuzzy, when it comes to my kids I question everything. I dont care who tels me about something, I always get at least another opinion. Doctors are not perfect. They are human too and can be swayed just like everyone else. Get another opinion and if it turns out he is, well then come to terms with it and move on. Good Luck!

[remie]

Definately question. Schools are constantly wanting to put labels on kids...yes I believe sometimes for the extra funding. If you can afford it have him tested privately. The austistic kids I know are nowhere near functional so I am not sure thats what you are dealing with. My youngest son had a lot of ear problems as a baby and his speech development was much slower than my oldest. Guess what. Now he is in kindergarten and reading on a second grade level. They do catch up in a hurry. Hang in there.

[KitchenKitten99]

I did check the autsim society webpage, and read up on a lot of it. Nathan does exhibit some of the behaviors noted on the little 'list', but I have seen other normal kids do it too, some more than others. The list doesn't even say to what level are these behaviors considered autistic. I think the major one is that they say that Nathan doesn't do the 'dramatic play' or 'pretend play' like other kids. He somewhat does, as I did notice this weekend that he does do some things, just not a whole lot. He doesn't use spoken words every time, but I think that is related to his inability to talk from before. But he does do it. I even recorded him on camera. And I am going to try to keep the camera handy so I can bring it to the conference to show them. He asks other kids (especially the daycare kids I have) to come play all the time. He gets upset when they leave (most of the time anyway).

i am not worried about her opinions or feelings about anything. I am wondering if my questioning the motive (more labels=more funding) and my view of my baby boy is getting in the way of common sense and reasoning, and my acceptance that I have a special needs child with more than just speech/communication issues.

Either way, whatever he is, he is my first baby boy and I love him to pieces no matter what. But I just don't want him to be labeled something he's not and have that stigma through school that he is that much different than other kids.

[jackass]

Exactly. You dont want him labeled something he is not. Dont worry about why you are doing it. You are doing it for the benefit of your little boy. Tiy are taking care of your child when he cannot. You are doing what a mother should do. Dont fret over it...just get another opinion.

[Abbey Marie]

Definitely question this test. My nephew had very delayed speech problems, due to almost constant ear infections. We didn't know what he was saying; it was so garbled. He grew out of it, and is a normally developed and very smart 15 year old now.

[Mr. P]

GO PRIVATE! Hell, I don’t trust the public schools to teach, there’s no way in hell I’d ever accept a diagnosis from them!

[glockmail]

I did check the autsim society webpage, and read up on a lot of it. Nathan does exhibit some of the behaviors noted on the little 'list', but I have seen other normal kids do it too, some more than others. ....

That pretty much says it right there. All kids exhibit SOME behavior associated with LOTS of problems. My daughter is definitely ADHD (or whatever acronym it is) by the description, but then again, so am I! I never took drugs and she won't either. Instead we keep her busy with school and sports. Now she’s 12, top 10% academically, popular and athletic.

I suggest that you get a second diagnosis from a trusted professional, keep working with your kid with regard to speech and such, and review his diet, exercise, sleep habits, social activities and such and make sure you’re doing everything you can to keep his mind active.

I would also get him involved in some type of music lessons, as it has been shown that this helps to develop certain parts of the brain.

[jimnyc]

Question, question, question. Children can't question themselves, it's up to us to do it for them. Health care professionals make mistakes too, and I would definitely have an evaluation done elsewhere, especially since it came from someone in the school system.

[5stringJeff]

I'll repeat what everyone else has said. Get a second, or even a thrid opinion. Not only do I not trust public school counselors/psychologists, they have an interest in increasing their workload (and therefore justifying their existence) by diagnosing kids with mental disorders who may or may not actually have the disorder. Also, the mental health community (i.e. the people who profit off of such diagnoses) expanded the definition of autism, so that something ridiculous like 1 in 20 kids is "autistic" now. I find it highly questionable, especially given your son's hearing problems. So keep him going to his speech therapist and go get him tested by a private psychologist.

[KitchenKitten99]

That pretty much says it right there. All kids exhibit SOME behavior associated with LOTS of problems. My daughter is definitely ADHD (or whatever acronym it is) by the description, but then again, so am I! I never took drugs and she won't either. Instead we keep her busy with school and sports. Now she’s 12, top 10% academically, popular and athletic.

I suggest that you get a second diagnosis from a trusted professional, keep working with your kid with regard to speech and such, and review his diet, exercise, sleep habits, social activities and such and make sure you’re doing everything you can to keep his mind active.

I would also get him involved in some type of music lessons, as it has been shown that this helps to develop certain parts of the brain.

i have thought about getting him into music lessons. My husband's cousin was taught to play the violin at 4 years old. I guess it is some kind of method they use.

I also just got a flyer for a youth tumbling class with free registration through mid-april. I think he would love that. He follows directions fairly well and has endless energy and he sometimes can't figure out how to use it. He could play outside all day if I let him...now if I could only get him interested again in potty training-another issue for another thread...

[Gaffer]

For one thing definately get a second opinion. And go with your gut feeling, its usually right. He sounds like a perfectly normal kid for his age. Developement delayed due to the earing problem but nothing worse than that. Sounds like he's catching up pretty fast now.

[glockmail]

i have thought about getting him into music lessons. My husband's cousin was taught to play the violin at 4 years old. I guess it is some kind of method they use.

I also just got a flyer for a youth tumbling class with free registration through mid-april. I think he would love that. He follows directions fairly well and has endless energy and he sometimes can't figure out how to use it. He could play outside all day if I let him...now if I could only get him interested again in potty training-another issue for another thread...

Music: start off with something more intuitive, like the piano. You can buy a used upright for the price of moving it or easier, an electronic keyboard.

Tumbling, swimming, tee ball, anything to get hs mind focused on doing physical-mental coordination.

I think the whole idea to to get the brian develped in as many directions as possible.

I bribed my son into potty training. He wanted a pedal tractor with a front end bucket that cost $100- a lot for me back than- and I bought it, set in in the garage and told him he couldn't use it until I could get rid of the diapers.