Americans With No Abilities Act
It is only a matter of time before this might happen
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July 12, 2009, 12:14 PM
WASHINGTON , DC (AP) - President Obama and the US Congress are
considering sweeping legislation which provides new benefits for many
Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed
as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who
lack any real skills or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive
necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,"
said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. "We can no longer stand by and allow
People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this
legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to
a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have
some idea of what they are doing."
The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has
a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job
skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of
Inability.
Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against
the Inept include retail sales (72%), home improvement stores, The DMV
also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle
man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but
little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose
and performance Mandatory non-performance- based raises and promotions
will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most
unremarkable employees.
The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which
maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle
positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that
agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires!
Finally, the AWNAA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more
difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning discriminatory
interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or
"Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"
'As a Non-abled Person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who
have something going for them,' said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her
position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint , Michigan due to
her inability to remember 'righty tighty, lefty loosey.' 'This new law
should be real good for people like me,' Gertz added. With the passage
of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will
finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): 'As a Senator with no abilities, I
believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be
extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as
lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his
or her inadequacy, with some sort of job in this great nation and a good
salary with it.
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Originally Posted by Kathianne
