Yep long leash....if you recall I also mentioned something about his cellphone and me paying the bill in the OP. I have the family watch on my phones which means at any time I can locate my child through the gps system on his phone either with my own phone or through the internet. So I always know where he is. And I do check regularly.
You get more with a kind word and a two by four, than you do with just a kind word. ~ Gaffer
Here in California 14 year olds get to decide where they want to live. If a 14 year old wants to live with the other parent all they have to do is figure out a way to get in front of a judge.
I wouldn't argue wit my ex-wife when she would call to pick a fight. I would tell her that I paid good money never to have to argue with her again and hung up.
Here you can get in trouble with the court if you allow children to hear disparaging comments made about the other parent. The court really frowns on that. Its hard, but best to teach the kids values and then let them find out on their own how screwed up the other parent is. I would always tell my boys to honor and love their mother to the best of their abilities.
I found that every other weekend of letting the boys go to their moms was too much so I took her back to court. She got Saturdays from 8am to 7pm when and if she showed up, she had a 30 minute window to pick them up in as well. She got no holidays and no over night visits. She had to drive 50 miles to my house to pick up the boys and I had to drive to her house to bring them back home. The judge wanted me to see the living conditions at the ex's when I picked them up and they were never late getting home.
"If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen."
Samuel Adams
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
It is the same in SC, 13 or 14 I can't remember , MY Oldest wanted to come live but he had a younger brother, the law stated he could come to live with me at that age, but he had a younger brother , as long as there is a younger sibling he had to stay
Both my boys have come to live with me, my 21 year old has moved back to SC cause his friends are up there, but my 15 year old has been with me for 3 years now and is doing great
Kids have a way of eventually doing the right thing , sometimes ya have to give them that long leash so they can see both sides
Trinity I hope everything works I out just right for ya
It is a wonderful thing. I love knowing I can check on the boys were ever they are, and they have no idea I am checking up on them. I pay like $5.00 extra a month on my cell phone bill, but it's $5.00 well spent for peace of mind.
I should also mention that I get text messages and emails for times and locations I have set up in the system, so if I set up for them to be at school at a certain time I will get a message telling me where there location is at that specific time.
Last edited by Trinity; 12-08-2009 at 05:25 PM.
You get more with a kind word and a two by four, than you do with just a kind word. ~ Gaffer
I was paying $20 for my two kids on Verizon; maybe the costs have gone down.
Verizon has it but you have to plug in each kid independently them wait 90 seconds.
I love when I'm right.. took a little longer then 3 months but.....
Thought I should update this thread..
My son came to this realization about a year ago, but really loves his school and friends, and since I lived about 30 minutes away he chose to continue living with his dad.
About a month ago we signed a lease option to buy on a 3 bedroom house on an acre of land with a huge barn at the back of the property. We are now about 10 to 15 minutes from my sons school, we are still in a different school district.
In light of the recent events in my son's life with his best friend committing suicide, he has been doing a lot of thinking and realized his father really is a selfish, inconsiderate, and uncaring individual.
He called me this past Wednesday evening and said mom I really need to come over for the weekend. I don't have school Friday can you come get me Thursday after school. I said yeah, why, what's going on? He says it's been really stressful here and I need to get away. My husband went and picked him up Thursday since I was still at work when he got out of school.
I got home from work and said ok let's talk what's going on? He broke down and told me how much he hates living with his dad and how his dad didn't care that he had just lost his best friend and how he is always getting blamed for everything and he feels like a slave. I sat there and listened and then told him well you do have other options...he said yeah I know but I really like my school. So my husband and I told him that since we only live 10 to 15 minutes from your school now, I am sure we can arrange for you to get back and forth to school from here. And by next school year you should have your drivers license and a car so you will be able to drive yourself then. His eyes lit up so big...he was like seriously really!!! When can we make this happen? I told him just as soon as I get to the courthouse to file the paper work.
and my child now realizes that mom is usually right.
You get more with a kind word and a two by four, than you do with just a kind word. ~ Gaffer
Every once in awhile we, as parents, are cornered into doing and saying things we don't want to say and do. A given situation can maike tempers flair and as a result, often times our young hear what is being said or sees how we are acting. We are all human and imperfect ones at that. Raising children is no easy task and can try ones patience. I hope things work out for you and yours.
"Find the cost of freedom buried in the ground." Crosby, Stills and Nash......