Some advice needed

[Noir]

Hey guys,

Sorry if this seems a bit random but you're one of my few social networks left that are not heavily intergrated with my IRL network. (such is the double edged sword of web connectivity)

Anyways, my problem is simple to explain, even simpler for me to justify to myself, but justifying it to others is the kicker.*

I want to leave University. TBH I never even wanted to join, or to take the achademic route I took. I have no idea how I ended up were I am now, but here I am. (scratch that, I know how I got here, by putting my head down, taking the riute I was expected to take and hoping it would be over soon)

But how to tell that to others, I was one of the first (in a very large famaily) to pass my primary school tests, get to a grammar school, pass GCSEs, pass A-levels and get into university. It's always just been quietly accepted that 'jonathan'll be the one that does well' and for years I just bought into it and went along with it, but over the past year I have come to realize just how miserable it's making me.

I have been dreading the end of this summer something shocking, but it's too close now to not tell people, so my question is, how do you tell your family that what they regard as the best possible thing for you, is infact the worst

Ps. I have no doubt that many of you will also regard me wanting to leave as a bad decision, but it is certainly not one I have made likely, or without many months of internal debate. *I have worked as hard as I could through doing what I was expected to do, but resigning myself to another three years of this is just too much.

[Kathianne]

Noir, university studies are not for everyone. With that said, if you have a better plan in mind, formalize it. It's much easier to explain why you're not taking route A, when route B is better for success.

If you don't have alternate plans, I'd keep my head down and keep going until you do.

[darin]

Flee. Live your live. Enlist, maybe? Do something to shake your world up and down.

[Gaffer]

Is it possible to take a year off and return later to complete your studies? Some people do that and then get back on track. Most don't return tho. You are entering the I don't want to do this anymore stage of college.

It really boils down to what you want to do with your life. Do you have goals that require a degree or do you just want to do what you feel like doing. If you quit university you will have to work for a living. I don't know who pays your expenses right now but I think they should be consulted on the matter.

You might simply need a change in majors. Now days a degree doesn't guarantee you a job like it use too. Don't do anything you might regret later. You won't regret finishing school, you could well regret not finishing.

[Noir]

Noir, university studies are not for everyone. With that said, if you have a better plan in mind, formalize it. It's much easier to explain why you're not taking route A, when route B is better for success.

If you don't have alternate plans, I'd keep my head down and keep going until you do.

I know what you mean, but I know that route A will most likly be better for 'success' say in terms for jobs ect, but that is being measure against an intangable value, and one that I think for too long I've ignored

[Noir]

Flee. Live your live. Enlist, maybe? Do something to shake your world up and down.

I couldn't make it in the army, I know that for sure, though fleeing has crossed my mind more than enough.

[Kathianne]

I know what you mean, but I know that route A will most likly be better for 'success' say in terms for jobs ect, but that is being measure against an intangable value, and one that I think for too long I've ignored

So you don't have a plan B? I'm reminded of a lesson learned, 'don't quit a job before you have a better one.' I'm glad I didn't lean that the hard way.

[Noir]

Is it possible to take a year off and return later to complete your studies? Some people do that and then get back on track. Most don't return tho. You are entering the I don't want to do this anymore stage of college.

It really boils down to what you want to do with your life. Do you have goals that require a degree or do you just want to do what you feel like doing. If you quit university you will have to work for a living. I don't know who pays your expenses right now but I think they should be consulted on the matter.

You might simply need a change in majors. Now days a degree doesn't guarantee you a job like it use too. Don't do anything you might regret later. You won't regret finishing school, you could well regret not finishing.

There are gap year options, but they've more or less shut down over here, due to Goverment cuts University places are down around 20,000 while demand is up 150,000. So that's not an option (also on my mind, though it is obviously not a primary concern, ie that while I am there wish I wasn't I'm taming the space of someone who wishes they were but aren't)

And I'm totally financially independant and have been (eexcept for rent) since I was 15 (and with rent from 18) so i lucky don't need to worry about burdoning someone with any financial responsability.

[Nukeman]

There are gap year options, but they've more or less shut down over here, due to Goverment cuts University places are down around 20,000 while demand is up 150,000. So that's not an option (also on my mind, though it is obviously not a primary concern, ie that while I am there wish I wasn't I'm taming the space of someone who wishes they were but aren't)

And I'm totally financially independant and have been (eexcept for rent) since I was 15 (and with rent from 18) so i lucky don't need to worry about burdoning someone with any financial responsability.

the big question you have to ask yourself is "do you feel comfortable doing what your doing now for the rest of your life"??

Do you currently get by or are you comfortable, If your just getting by than how will your taste change as you get older, If your well off and don't need or want for anything than by all means enjoy yourself!!!

[Noir]

So you don't have a plan B? I'm reminded of a lesson learned, 'don't quit a job before you have a better one.' I'm glad I didn't lean that the hard way.

Well short term I'll continue to work in the job I'm in at the minute as that provides more than enough income though I'll be looking for another one. I also plan to carry out volenteery work for a local MLA/Cllr with a mind to midterm employmet within the civil sector

Long term (3ish years) I have my sights set on moving to America, if it were not for some other cirumstances I'd be there now.

[hjmick]

Take a look in those classrooms. Look at your peers and what they're doing in those classrooms. Do you know what they're doiing? They're working to become someone's boss. Your boss.

I am not unsympathetic to your plight, Noir, but you have to ask yourself if choosing an alternate route is it worth spending the rest of your life looking up the ladder rather than down? You're talking about three years. Three years to better pay and better opportuninties. Three years in exchange for another fifty.

[LiberalNation]

And I'm totally financially independant and have been (eexcept for rent) since I was 15 (and with rent from 18) so i lucky don't need to worry about burdoning someone with any financial responsability.

If that's the case do whatever you want and whatever will make you most happy.

I joined the Army despite disapproval from my folks who thought I should just finish school first. Why, because I have no financial independence and am tired of living at home being treated like a kid. It will give me some money, get me emancipated so I can get more financial aid when I go back to school, independence, ect.

[darin]

I couldn't make it in the army, I know that for sure, though fleeing has crossed my mind more than enough.

dude. If you couldn't make it - it'd only be due to your admission of failure at the beginning. DO IT. There are millions of people "who wouldn't make it" who, thanks to hard work, DO make it. I believe in you.

[SassyLady]

Noir, university studies are not for everyone. With that said, if you have a better plan in mind, formalize it. It's much easier to explain why you're not taking route A, when route B is better for success.

If you don't have alternate plans, I'd keep my head down and keep going until you do.

This is exactly what I would say to you Noir....it will be easier if you tell people what you do want to do and why....instead of what you don't want to do.

I, too, was (and still am) the first to qualify for scholarships in my family....and was recruited right out of high school to be the personal assistant to a vice president of a very large corporation ...... so I took the job because it helped me build a life away from my family.

I was 32 before I started back to school .... was married, raising three children and owned my own business....started with three nights a week. Was in my mid 40's before I finished ..... but I did what was right for me.

Make a decision to do something other than school only if it is something you are passionate about .... don't stay because you feel guilty, and don't quit because you are bored.

Truthfully....I enjoyed school when I was more mature because I had a completely different outlook on life and was in school to learn something rather than just putting in the time, doing homework and taking tests just to get a degree. I was successful without one, but became more successful and independent after getting one.

Good luck!

[Noir]

the big question you have to ask yourself is "do you feel comfortable doing what your doing now for the rest of your life"??

Do you currently get by or are you comfortable, If your just getting by than how will your taste change as you get older, If your well off and don't need or want for anything than by all means enjoy yourself!!!

While I wouldn't say I'm well off I can afford the luxeries I want (Car, iMac, holidays ect) and added to being at Uni is that financially I'm allot worse of in the short-medium term. For example the rent in the place I'm staying at uni is £511 (~$800) per month, and that's for one room with shared shower&kitchen, in my hometown i'd be able to rent a whole house for that lol. An average student adds about £10k ($16k) of personal debt per year which must be paid of as a tax when you start working. Add to that the number of students that are coming out of Uni this year and struggling to find jobs (the compound that by 3 years)

Puting that together I feel I'd be better getting out now with only £8K of debt, getting myself established within a company and moving on from there. If there were good carrier prospects at the end of it all I may have been able to sustain the hatred of that place longer but I can't see that happenig at all.