To: Hillary Clinton <secretary@state.gov>
Subject: Re: UK defence cuts
I agree – totally uncool. A 10% reduction in Britain's defence budget would leave us without a valuable partner/potential scapegoat in Afghanistan. And we can't afford to make up the shortfall. So here's what you do: tell Cameron that any decisions on spending are entirely a matter for him, while doing that thing with your eyes that means there's going to be trouble if he doesn't cough up. If he doesn't take the hint, we'll issue another Europe-wide terrorist alert at the end of next week. Credible information, fully corroborated, yadda yadda yadda. Barack PS I read that British TV is showing a documentary about the Taliban kidnapping Prince Harry. When the hell did that happen? Was I on vacation? I guess it wasn't that big a story over here, but still, I like to be informed.
To: President Sebastien Pinera
<spinera@gobiernodechile.cl>
Re: Subject: congratulations!
As I said, nice work. You've earned yourself some serious political capital there, my friend. Spend it wisely. I hear you're meeting Cameron next week. He's an OK guy, pretty straightforward, although I sometimes get the feeling he's checking to see if I'm using the right fork. Just work from the outside in, and you should be fine. And don't forget to mention how much you admire the British military and the work they're doing in Afghanistan. He loves that. Warmly, Barack
To: Michelle Obama <firstlady@whitehouse.gov>
Subject: Re: why do I have to go and make this stupid campaign speech?
Because your approval ratings are at 70%, and mine are in the mid-40s. That's what you get for being so goddam popular. Knock 'em dead. B
To: Hillary Clinton <secretary@state.gov>
Subject: Re: Re: UK defence cuts
How did that thing with Prince Harry turn out, by the way? Is he OK? Actually, don't spoil it for me. I might want to watch the DVD on the plane. Barack