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  1. #1
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    Default Worst first date

    Worst First Date

    If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down
    when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first
    date or not!!!
    We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

    On the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Jay went into the audience to find
    the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner
    described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no
    question as to why her tale took the prize!

    She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold.. and the guy had
    her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day
    trip no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never
    met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were
    headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the
    mounttain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have
    had that extra latte. They were about hour away from anywhere with no
    restroom and in the middle of no where.

    Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
    Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
    point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside
    the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and
    she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and
    started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her
    butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion
    stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeedwas a real
    gentleman and refrained from peeking!
    All she
    could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather
    embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon
    became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the
    young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's
    fender.

    Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind
    as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was
    quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme
    cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment,
    she answered her date's concerns about what is taking so long with a
    reply that indeed, she was freezing her butt off and in need of some
    assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with
    her sweater. Then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out
    laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to
    compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously as hysterical
    as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both
    agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the
    grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the
    predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was
    only one way to get her free.

    So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip
    his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in
    laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down... or perhaps that
    should be pants down...And you thought your first date was
    embarrassing.

    Jay Leno's comment... This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed
    off.

  2. #2
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    Why not try to get some fluid from the car to unfreeze her butt...like windshield washer fluid? Or warm something with the car heater? People can be so dumb sometimes. Sheesh. Did she say if the relationship worked out?
    Quote Originally Posted by Gaffer
    Science wants to explain things and understand why they happen. Creationists want to use science to justify their own causes.

  3. #3
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hagbard Celine View Post
    ...
    Did she say if the relationship worked out?
    Probably depends on if he liked what he saw...
    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    Probably depends on if he liked what he saw...
    And if she liked the R.Kelly action she got.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gaffer
    Science wants to explain things and understand why they happen. Creationists want to use science to justify their own causes.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hagbard Celine View Post
    Why not try to get some fluid from the car to unfreeze her butt...like windshield washer fluid? Or warm something with the car heater? People can be so dumb sometimes. Sheesh. Did she say if the relationship worked out?
    Unless this guy had a syphon or extra fluid in the trunk, how do you propose they get the fluids from the car?

    Damn funny story though.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yurt View Post
    Unless this guy had a syphon or extra fluid in the trunk, how do you propose they get the fluids from the car?

    Damn funny story though.
    Most people have an old cup or something that they could use to ladle-out some fluid. Just pop the top off the reservoir and voila!
    Quote Originally Posted by Gaffer
    Science wants to explain things and understand why they happen. Creationists want to use science to justify their own causes.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hagbard Celine View Post
    Most people have an old cup or something that they could use to ladle-out some fluid. Just pop the top off the reservoir and voila!
    LOL *puts cup and ladle next to syphon*

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yurt View Post
    LOL *puts cup and ladle next to syphon*
    You know, like a Wendy's cup or coke bottle or something.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gaffer
    Science wants to explain things and understand why they happen. Creationists want to use science to justify their own causes.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hagbard Celine View Post
    Why not try to get some fluid from the car to unfreeze her butt...like windshield washer fluid? Or warm something with the car heater? People can be so dumb sometimes. Sheesh. Did she say if the relationship worked out?
    If they'd been driving very long at all, those fluids would be so hot that she'd get scalded and possibly lose some of her butt to frostbite from warming it too fast.
    "Lighght"
    - This 'poem' was bought and paid for with $2,250 of YOUR money.

    Name one thing the government does better than the private sector and I'll show you something that requires the use of force to accomplish.

  10. #10
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hagbard Celine View Post
    Why not try to get some fluid from the car to unfreeze her butt...like windshield washer fluid? Or warm something with the car heater? People can be so dumb sometimes. Sheesh. Did she say if the relationship worked out?
    washer fluid has alcohol in it-not the best idea for damaged skin. Just pain and even more freezing when the alcohol evaporates.

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