Why Men Hate Going to Church

[avatar4321]

If you don't go to church to learn Jesus' teachings, how will you be a good Christian? I think this is the problem with the so called Christians of today. They don't know much about the religion, but they use it as some sort of a badge to make themselves feel better, like they belong to something, but they have no idea what is is that they belong to! They think Christianity is about hating gays and killing Muslims and supporting a Corporate oil baron family who says they are Christian. If Christians were really truly practising Christianity, they would be anti-war, anti-death penalty, anti-abortion, anti-killing for any reason. They would be pro-everything that would help the little guy, the poor, the immigrant, the children, the teachers, the mothers, the struggling, the sick...

I wish you so-called Christians WOULD go to Church, you certainly seem like you need some learnin'.

It be nice if you knew anything about Christianity and conservatives before you complain about "not living it" because your perceptions are completely inaccurate.

There is nothing in the scriptures that gives any person any reason to believe that defending the lives of others is somehow wrong. There is nothing that requires a Christian suffer under an oppressive government and give up the God given rights they are bestowed with by their creator.

Nor is there anything in the scriptures that requires Christians to be anti capital punishment. In fact, the scriptures are repleat with commandments for capital punishment.

And as Christians and conservatives we do help little guy, the poor, the immigrant, the children, the teachers, the mothers, the struggling, the sick... We do so by teaching them individual responsibility, respect for the law, and by protecting them from liberals who are trying to use them for their own selfish political purposes. Liberals who claim to be helping them with programs that make their situation even worse.

Maybe you should consider going to Church and actually learning something about Christianity.

[avatar4321]

Wanted to try again to get on the topic of the thread because its interesting.

1. Church makes men feel uncomfortable because it emphasizes feminine values

Murrow states that many elements of modern churches—from music to vocabulary to the dress code—emphasize values that are more easily associated with femininity than masculinity. For example, sentimental songs that celebrate the intimacy of relationship with Jesus Christ bring a more feminine style of worship. As Murrow writes, "Think of the mental gymnastics that must take place inside a man’s subconscious mind as he sings lyrics like these. He’s trying to express his love to Jesus, a man who lives today, using words no man would dare say to another, set to music that sounds like the love songs his wife listens to in the car" (139).

A second example of overemphasis on feminine values in the church is a desire for comfort at the expense of risk. Murrow writes in chapter 4, "Velvet Coffin Christianity is the real cancer in the church today. Its key characteristic is comfort. Everyone is so nice to each other. And we choose a church based on how comfortable it makes us feel . . . Men gag on this kind of religion" (27).

Murrow’s reaction against this overemphasis is one of the high points of the book: "Today’s church is all about safety. What’s our top prayer request? ‘God, keep us safe. Keep our kids safe. Watch over us and protect us.’ God’s job is to keep our well-ordered lives flowing smoothly" (162). Churches that focus on their own comfort will cease to attract men, Murrow warns, and churches without men are prone to turn inward, away from their call to change the world.

Comfort is a feminine value? The desire to protect is a feminine value? Seems to me its a natural instinct of a man to want to protect his wife and childre and others he cares about.

Is love a feminine value as well? Ive never seen compassion or love as non-manly. In fact, brotherly love is the epitome of true manly virtue.

What other feminine values does he think Churches are teaching us? Because I hardly see how these are feminine values. What are these manly values that he thinks Churches are neglecting to teach?

2. Church forces men to do things that they find uncomfortable

From asking men to sing in public, to sermons that are longer than the space between television commercials, Murrow showcases elements of church life that are uncomfortable for most unchurched men.

Forgive my language, but any man who is afraid of something like singing is a pussy. What the heck kind of man is he if he cant do something he finds uncomfortable. Work sure as heck isnt comfortable, yet we are expected to do it all the time.

If the Church cant ask us to change our lives, even when its uncomfortable, what is the point of it?

3. Men assume that church will require them to give up masculine traits

Murrow lists a number of men’s misconceptions about what they must give up to become part of a church. They assume church will make them "dorky" and "nerdy"—the equivalent of the evangelical Christian Ned Flanders from the Simpsons cartoon.

What "masculine" traits do religious men give up? As far as I'm concerned, Jesus Christ is the epitome of a man. He is the man. Modeling our lives after him will make us better men, not worse.

4. Church does not present a compelling model of leadership

One assumption that underlies much of Murrow’s thinking on leadership is that "If men are to return to Christ, they need strong, godly laymen to help them in their walk . . . For too long we have asked men to follow our teaching, our methods, and our theology. Men do not follow these things. I’ll say it again: men follow men." It is difficult to argue with the premise that visionary leaders are the source of much change in this world. As a result, Murrow castigates the church for its inability to inspire men to greatness.

This is probably the most valid criticism. Probably more so in protestant/evangelical churches because of the decentralized nature of the Church. But I think its probably existant in all Churches. However, I think that this is because of a failure to adequately teach the principles of the Gospel. Because adherence to the principles creates leaders.

[Abbey Marie]

If you have "studied" Jesus from some clinical, non-believer's pov, you really do not know Him at all. Theology majors are often the most un-Christian Christians.

So basically you’re trying to say that someone who studied a particular subject and knows a lot about it, but doesn't believe in it, shouldn't be able to speak for it? Even when they know more than the person who does believe in it?
That makes a lot of sense dumbfuck.
And I will not leave the "What would Jesus do's" to the right-wing community, because as I explained earlier, right-wingers believe in a warped form of Christianity that does not accurately represent Jesus.

If conservatives are going to continue to use their warped form of Jesus’ beliefs to make talking points, than liberals are going to continuously have to step in and shut them down.

[KarlMarx]

I haven't gone to church in so long it's pathetic. Part of the reason is laziness on my part, but another part is that I don't feel any sense of fellowship with the other parishoners.

Most of the people in the parish I belong to are old ladies and men.

I don't feel any particular fondness for the priest either. I once tried to have a conversation with him (regarding the Rosary) and he simply gave me a terse answer, and turned away.

The church I used to attend is my home parish, but I feel unwelcome there, too. The sad thing is, I feel the same way at any other church I go to.

So, I guess the only church I'm going to is on EWTN.

P.S. Oh yeah, I REFUSE to sing Kumbaya or any of those other sissy hymns that are actually Bob Dylan tunes with different words.

[Said1]

I present Debatepolicy with example #1 on how conservatives misrepresent Christianity to form their politics:


If Jesus were alive today, Jesus would not agree in cutting social programs to help the poor, nor would he agree with invading a country that never harmed us in any way, shape, or form. Calling gay people "queers!" and "fags!" is not what Jesus stood for. Degrading minorities, and making racist statements because of an ethno-centric redneck ignorance would not be condoned Jesus.

The only issues you guys have a fucking leg to stand on with Jesus is abortion, not being having sex with the same sex, and not having sex in general unless your married.

Everything else is your own evil spin on Christianity.

Yo. Jesus was a Capricon, he ate organic foods. He wore sandles too, I bet they weren't berginstocks though.