Quote Originally Posted by Gunny View Post
I disagree. I liked and still like my stepfather WAY more than I ever will my biological father. I was 6 when my parents divorced and I didn't have any trouble understanding the situation. And I was glad the MFer was gone.

Your premise that "this new guy replace dad" is wrong from the get go, and I can see why you would think that wouldn't work. On the other hand, if the children got no attention or only bad attention and broken promises from dad and they got attention, time and promises kept by "the new guy", things can only go up for the children.

I completely concede that there are situations like yours where new "dad" is better than "old" dad.

My own son's situation was similar, he was 12 when I married my current wife. He didn't even know his mom though, and we never badmouthed her because she wasn't even in the picture. He accepted new "mom" just fine. Who knows how it would have played out if mom would have been around though.

So I concede that every situation is different, I was just talking about the norm which seems to be new guy comes in and he and mom both try to get kids to accept him as dad even though the real dad is still in the picture and wants to be a good dad.