For those who didn't know, I had a 14-pound baby girl, who I named Holy. (Holy Tick has a nice ring to it, don't you think?) Anyway, that night I went out drinking with Gaffer, I left Houdini in charge of watching her and now social services is breathing down my neck about it. I mean, puh-leaze! Houdini is very gentle and capable of watching a child. I don't know what I would do without him. He doesn't bark much and never tears up the furniture. I need you as a character witness to help me prove to those imbeciles that I'm a fit mother.