Teen angst and puppy love

[Shadow]

Ugh...daughter is fawning all over a boy right now...sappy sappy...I just love your smile...sappy sappy...just thinking about how cute it is makes ME smile. We don't talk as much as we used to...I miss talking to you on the phone every night...I hope we can hang out more soon...blah AND gag... I need to get this kid a spine stat!

[Abbey Marie]

Have you heard of the book, "He's Just Not That Into You"? I haven't read it, but it sounds like a good read for teenaged (and older) girls.

[Shadow]

Have you heard of the book, "He's Just Not That Into You"? I haven't read it, but it sounds like a good read for teenaged (and older) girls.

I haven't read the book but I have seen the movie. There is one really good part that deals with the male perspective...where one of the characters is trying to tell one of the girls "if he treats you like you don't matter...then you don't matter". That one kinda hit home...and I have heard men IRL make similar remarks like that before. If I can find the clip I will post it later.

[cadet]

Have you heard of the book, "He's Just Not That Into You"? I haven't read it, but it sounds like a good read for teenaged (and older) girls.

My sister watched that movie, and I can only say one thing about it. It really shows my one idea.

girls seem to think they know everything, including what goes on in a guys head.

and my sister... and every girl I've ever dated or been friends with, all think they know whats going on in some guys head.

I hate it when they think i don't know how my own people work...

In the end, I'm always right, and badmouthed for "not telling her"

[darin]

My 12y/o is doing that lately. She wants 'a boyfriend' and to text boys. I'm about to forbid it, I think - the latter of the two. Any suggestions?

[cadet]

My 12y/o is doing that lately. She wants 'a boyfriend' and to text boys. I'm about to forbid it, I think - the latter of the two. Any suggestions?

Tell her she can't date until she's married.
or... find an excuse to take her phone away, she's a 12 year old, it shouldn't be hard to find something to get her in trouble.

[Shadow]

My sister watched that movie, and I can only say one thing about it. It really shows my one idea.

girls seem to think they know everything, including what goes on in a guys head.

and my sister... and every girl I've ever dated or been friends with, all think they know whats going on in some guys head.

I hate it when they think i don't know how my own people work...

In the end, I'm always right, and badmouthed for "not telling her"

I was given advice once about the male point of view. I always remember it now...because I always believed men to be more complex (and they really aren't). The advice was..."everything revolves around chemistry and timing"...and that's pretty much it.

Men will pretty much throw their standards and ethics out the window if those two things are aligned. Women have a hard time dealing with this...because we are more emotion based and want to understand things based on logic.

[Abbey Marie]

My sister watched that movie, and I can only say one thing about it. It really shows my one idea.

girls seem to think they know everything, including what goes on in a guys head.

and my sister... and every girl I've ever dated or been friends with, all think they know whats going on in some guys head.

I hate it when they think i don't know how my own people work...

In the end, I'm always right, and badmouthed for "not telling her"

I didn't see the movie, either, and there are always exceptions to rules.
But- I think it is fair to say that younger guys especially, do treat girls well or poorly in direct proportion to their level of interest. Simply put, if he's not showing respect and interest, time to move on down the road.

Guys seem to get the message faster and more clearly than women do. Young women tend to romanticize minute details, and think we can change your minds...

[cadet]

I didn't see the movie, either, and there are always exceptions to rules.
But- I think it is fair to say that younger guys especially, do treat girls well or poorly in direct proportion to their level of interest. Simply put, if he's not showing respect and interest, time to move on down the road.

Guys seem to get the message faster and more clearly than women do. Young women tend to romanticize minute details, and think we can change your minds...

I've always gotten stuck with this argument,
ME-"He wants to get in your pants. Run."
Random girl-"But he's said he changed!"
Me-"Yeah, i bet he said that to the other 30 girls he slept with too."
RG-"How can you say such a thing??"

*a month later*
RG-"He tried to get in my pants, why didn't you say something!?!?"
Me-

[darin]

Tell her she can't date until she's married.
or... find an excuse to take her phone away, she's a 12 year old, it shouldn't be hard to find something to get her in trouble.

I'd never need an excuse to take her phone; I'd just tell her why, and remove it. We WANT her to have it, though. Won't ever sugar-coat things for her.

[Shadow]

My 12y/o is doing that lately. She wants 'a boyfriend' and to text boys. I'm about to forbid it, I think - the latter of the two. Any suggestions?

The boy thing is kinda tricky. My best advice is don't let on that certain boys are totally off limits...because then those are the ones she will want to hang around (they just LOVE the under dogs). My daughter likes to give you the little speeches about being judgemental and just because so and so..cusses,dresses like a punk,ditches school or doesn't believe in god etc etc...doesn't mean they are a bad person.

[DragonStryk72]

My 12y/o is doing that lately. She wants 'a boyfriend' and to text boys. I'm about to forbid it, I think - the latter of the two. Any suggestions?

Well, you could forbid it... which will likely work as well as it did when my dad forbid my sister from seeing her boyfriend at the time. She was dating him for two years after that.

forbidding just doesn't work, not where boys are concerned. If anything, it's like waving a cape at an angry bull

[DragonStryk72]

I've always gotten stuck with this argument,
ME-"He wants to get in your pants. Run."
Random girl-"But he's said he changed!"
Me-"Yeah, i bet he said that to the other 30 girls he slept with too."
RG-"How can you say such a thing??"

*a month later*
RG-"He tried to get in my pants, why didn't you say something!?!?"
Me-

Oddly, I had a similar chat with a female friend of mine:

Her, crying: "But Rob seemed so nice."
Me: "He was a douchebag, Whit. Has been for a long time."
Whit: "But then why didn't anyone tell me?"
Me: "We did. Josh flat out called him a douchebag in his description of Rob to you. I told you he'd burned every single last bridge he'd ever come across with anyone, and hell, you got with him once before and he waited until after having sex with you while you were rebounding to tell you that he didn't want to be with you. At what point do you think you should have stopped?"

[DragonStryk72]

I'd never need an excuse to take her phone; I'd just tell her why, and remove it. We WANT her to have it, though. Won't ever sugar-coat things for her.

So you want her to use her friends' phones for texting, where you cannot easily monitor what's being sent?

[darin]

Sometimes parents use the adage: "If you forbid something, the kid will do it worse! or anyway!" as an excuse to never have to make the hard choices.

I'm gonna tell her no texting boys.