Will Date for Food: Women Who Seek Fancy Dinners

[Jess]

Most women *like* to be wined & dined occasionally. Men should have no problem showing women they're worth it.

The flip side being, women expect to be treated as equals in life, so they should also be expected to wine & dine their men from time to time,

If you really like each other, does it really matter who foots the bill?

Good points all around, shattered.

I paid for Gunny's birthday supper when the minions and I took him out but most of the time he buys dinner when we go out.

I think the point of the thread or the question being asked was about women who date well-off men just to have things, pricey dinner, etc. That's what came across for me anyhoo.

[DragonStryk72]

Much like Noir, I tend to foot for others when I can, whether a date or not.

For dating, This woman from the article is pretty much hooking when you come down to it, only difference really being that a prostitute is honest with herself about what she's doing.

It's one thing for a guy to pay on a date when he is the one who asked the girl out, and indeed, this is a lot of the reason behind the whole "the man pays" method of thought, as he seeks to demonstrate his ability to provide and impress his date. It's something entirely different for a woman to take advantage of this, and date men simply to get free dinners and swag.

[ConHog]

Good points all around, shattered.

I paid for Gunny's birthday supper when the minions and I took him out but most of the time he buys dinner when we go out.

I think the point of the thread or the question being asked was about women who date well-off men just to have things, pricey dinner, etc. That's what came across for me anyhoo.

I don't think there is any doubt that money played a part in me getting my wife. Not because she cares about getting taken out a lot , or jewelry or any of that, but because she likes the security it provides. And really if you look at history, that is the way it has always been, that is why traditionally men used to wait to get married in their late 20s and 30s to women who were teens or early 20s. Because men are attracted to beauty first and foremost and want children next when choosing a partner, while women are thinking children and security first and normally a younger woman is more beautiful and ready to bear children, while an older man is generally more financially secure.

It's biological. But that doesn't mean some women aren't just gold diggers, and some men aren't just pigs who use women.

[Kathianne]

I don't think there is any doubt that money played a part in me getting my wife. Not because she cares about getting taken out a lot , or jewelry or any of that, but because she likes the security it provides. And really if you look at history, that is the way it has always been, that is why traditionally men used to wait to get married in their late 20s and 30s to women who were teens or early 20s. Because men are attracted to beauty first and foremost and want children next when choosing a partner, while women are thinking children and security first and normally a younger woman is more beautiful and ready to bear children, while an older man is generally more financially secure.

It's biological. But that doesn't mean some women aren't just gold diggers, and some men aren't just pigs who use women.

So, you are supporting your wife on past earnings? She's just playing at lawyer, to fill in her spare time? Who's supporting whom?

Actually I don't really care, it's none of our business. Have a good life, I wish I'd had that opportunity. I guess I did. I chose wrong, so many times. I'm righting that though, soon.

[ConHog]

So, you are supporting your wife on past earnings? She's just playing at lawyer, to fill in her spare time? Who's supporting whom?

Actually I don't really care, it's none of our business. Have a good life, I wish I'd had that opportunity. I guess I did. I chose wrong, so many times. I'm righting that though, soon.

No, of course my wife pays her share of things now. But when we met she was 19 and in college, and I have no doubt that with or without me she would have went to law school ect ect, but my already being comfortable made it a much more comfortable journey for her than it would have been otherwise.


And no I don't believe my wife married me ONLY for money, not any more than her super hot body is the reason I fell in love with her.

[gabosaurus]

For most long term couples, what you are now has very little to do with what you were when you met.
My husband earns a ton of money now. But when I met him, he was a nerdy high school kid working part-time at an auto parts store. In the current economy, you never know which way the success pendulum is going to swing. Stable relationships will survive no matter who is supporting who.

[Toro]

Do you think it is wrong to expect the man to go all out on a date,or do you think women should split the tab? Do you think that in today's society women still expect to be wined and dined?


It's a stereotype as old as dating itself: women seeking guys for material gain, and guys seeking women for their beauty. But when 25-year-old Jessica Sporty spoke honestly about her brief but calculated plan to date men of means while living in New York, her confession sparked outrage online.
BusinessInsider.com, the website that featured the interview with Sporty last week, eventually disabled the article's comment section, but angry readers continued to vent on other websites that had picked up the story.
Some people called her a "gold digger" and others called her "obscene."
After the fallout, Sporty -- who now lives in California -- sat down with "Good Morning America" to tell her side of the story.
"I'm a traditional girl," she said. "And to me, I feel a part of dating is if a guy wants to take me out, what's wrong with him taking me out to a dinner and me expecting for the bill to be paid?"

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/dat...ry?id=15107409

I'm married now so it doesn't matter, but I have no problem one way or the other. I used to offer to pay, and if she resisted, I'd be a bit more forceful and insist I pay. If she REALLY was insistent we split it, I'd say OK.

I think it is embedded deep in biological tendencies. A woman wanting a man to pay isn't necessarily a gold digger. Rather, it is a signal that he will take care of her. Some of the women I dated REALLY liked it if I cooked for them. More than one said it was a real turn-on for a man to be able to put food on the table and make something for her, even if the meal wasn't a top flight meal.

[Shadow]

I'm married now so it doesn't matter, but I have no problem one way or the other. I used to offer to pay, and if she resisted, I'd be a bit more forceful and insist I pay. If she REALLY was insistent we split it, I'd say OK.

I think it is embedded deep in biological tendencies. A woman wanting a man to pay isn't necessarily a gold digger. Rather, it is a signal that he will take care of her. Some of the women I dated REALLY liked it if I cooked for them. More than one said it was a real turn-on for a man to be able to put food on the table and make something for her, even if the meal wasn't a top flight meal.

That is because it shows thoughtfulness. Women like it when you put thought into a date or gift...even if it is something small. Shows them that you care. I would much rather have a home cooked meal even if it is in the form of a picnic lunch...than a fancy dinner out. Comes from the heart and means more IMO.

Some women do prefer the big splurge though...and I know some of them. Defenately feel like you had better pay for their time...and they have no problem telling you if you didn't get it right or do enough.

[Kathianne]

That is because it shows thoughtfulness. Women like it when you put thought into a date or gift...even if it is something small. Shows them that you care. I would much rather have a home cooked meal even if it is in the form of a picnic lunch...than a fancy dinner out. Comes from the heart and means more IMO.

Some women do prefer the big splurge though...and I know some of them. Defenately feel like you had better pay for their time...and they have no problem telling you if you didn't get it right or do enough.

I agree with Toro and you. When a man asks for a date, he should pick a place that he can afford, at least in the beginning of a relationship. Now if the woman asks for the date, well that certainly would assume in my mind, that she'd pay. If he chose to 'insist,' that would be bonus in my mind, though certainly I'd assume the woman would be prepared to cover the costs.

Personally in all of my relationships I've thought that it's more fun to predominately have low-cost, impromptu dates in casual settings or cooking special meals with candlelight and great conversations. Yet, there are times that call for 'the hell with the costs, let's live it up' times. Some of course come after a few dates, when there seems to be some 'clicking' going on. Also for special times, such as anniversaries, birthdays, and special times in general.

When I think back I can remember places of casual dates fondly, though not so much the details such as food, conversations. However it is those 'let er' fly times' that really stand out. The weekend at the Ritz, dinner at Lowry's, seeing Les Miserables all in a weekend.

Many more too come to mind. I can remember one time that we, my now ex when we were dating, had theater tickets and then deciding to check in to the hotel on the block. He had to buy both of us a day's clothing, including a coat just because it's Chicago and the temps had dropped 40 degrees. That is still one of my fav memories.

I think there are appropriate times for kindness on both people's parts. I am very leery of someone that wants to drop a large amount of money on initial dates. I'm very appreciative of those that want to do a big deal when involved in more than casual.

[Shadow]

I agree with Toro and you. When a man asks for a date, he should pick a place that he can afford, at least in the beginning of a relationship. Now if the woman asks for the date, well that certainly would assume in my mind, that she'd pay. If he chose to 'insist,' that would be bonus in my mind, though certainly I'd assume the woman would be prepared to cover the costs.

Personally in all of my relationships I've thought that it's more fun to predominately have low-cost, impromptu dates in casual settings or cooking special meals with candlelight and great conversations. Yet, there are times that call for 'the hell with the costs, let's live it up' times. Some of course come after a few dates, when there seems to be some 'clicking' going on. Also for special times, such as anniversaries, birthdays, and special times in general.

When I think back I can remember places of casual dates fondly, though not so much the details such as food, conversations. However it is those 'let er' fly times' that really stand out. The weekend at the Ritz, dinner at Lowry's, seeing Les Miserables all in a weekend.

Many more too come to mind. I can remember one time that we, my now ex when we were dating, had theater tickets and then deciding to check in to the hotel on the block. He had to buy both of us a day's clothing, including a coat just because it's Chicago and the temps had dropped 40 degrees. That is still one of my fav memories.

I think there are appropriate times for kindness on both people's parts. I am very leery of someone that wants to drop a large amount of money on initial dates. I'm very appreciative of those that want to do a big deal when involved in more than casual.

There have been times when I have felt it only right to pay for certain things. Like if I have a place in mind that I might like to take someone...like to ride the tram at Sandia Crest. If it was my idea, and since it is kind of pricey...I would feel that it is only right that I pay for it. I'm sure men feel the same way about dates that they initiated also. But... I agree...most of the things I remember with fond memories have more to do with being with the person having fun...not really the venue. One of my favorite memories was playing glow in the dark frisbee and flying a kite at the park at night with an ex boyfriend. Having fun,being silly and just talking.

[Gunny]

Do you think it is wrong to expect the man to go all out on a date,or do you think women should split the tab? Do you think that in today's society women still expect to be wined and dined?


It's a stereotype as old as dating itself: women seeking guys for material gain, and guys seeking women for their beauty. But when 25-year-old Jessica Sporty spoke honestly about her brief but calculated plan to date men of means while living in New York, her confession sparked outrage online.
BusinessInsider.com, the website that featured the interview with Sporty last week, eventually disabled the article's comment section, but angry readers continued to vent on other websites that had picked up the story.
Some people called her a "gold digger" and others called her "obscene."
After the fallout, Sporty -- who now lives in California -- sat down with "Good Morning America" to tell her side of the story.
"I'm a traditional girl," she said. "And to me, I feel a part of dating is if a guy wants to take me out, what's wrong with him taking me out to a dinner and me expecting for the bill to be paid?"

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/dat...ry?id=15107409

I think when it's calculated like that, then she's a user. Calling herself a "traditionalist" is merely justifying her bad behavior to herself. Planning to date men of means was called gold-digging in my day.

For myself, if I ask a woman to dinner, THEN I am offering dinner. It's on me. However, I don't have to worry much about anyone confusing me of being a "man of means" (unless they wear Levi's, work boots, pearl-snap shirts and ball caps nowadays).

[jimnyc]

I take my dates to White Castle, or Sonic, and they pay for me or I make them walk home.

[jimnyc]

I take my dates to White Castle, or Sonic, and they pay for me or I make them walk home.

Ok, maybe I stretch the truth a bit. I'm actually the opposite. My mistake was always thinking I needed to "impress" my dates by bringing them to very expensive restaurants and perhaps ordering an expensive bottle of wine. Not so much to think I was getting down her pants that evening, but maybe tipping it in my favor down the road.

I've always been one that desires acceptance and love, so I guess in a way I thought I could buy it. I sometimes feel like an ass when I look back on it.

Funny thing is, I "picked up" my wife by buying her a soda at a bar. She was with a collection of people, including her step-sister, who was my sisters friend from work. She never goes to bars, rarely drinks and was driving that night. She thought I was cool because I still shared a chair with her and thought it was ok that she wasn't drinking. What can I say, she's from the sticks in Southern Virginia, and apparently easily impressed! LOL

Man should pay, that's my vote. And the woman should not take advantage, and should respect that, even if the date doesn't lead to anything.

[Gunny]

I take my dates to White Castle, or Sonic, and they pay for me or I make them walk home.

We don't have White Castle. It's McDonald's, Taco Bell, KFC or Sirloin Stockade here. Occasionally, the Chinese buffet!

[Shadow]

I take my dates to White Castle, or Sonic, and they pay for me or I make them walk home.

Sounds like an ex boyfriend I had once. Took me to Wendy's...got food at the drive up window...ate it in the car. Took me home and then went and picked up his REAL date for an actual dinner and a movie night out.