Father of the Year

[Jess]

Props to this dad - he's my kinda guy.



See responses to this video:
http://www.litefm.com/cc-common/main...rticle=9738000

[Jess]

Dad's response to media: http://www.litefm.com/cc-common/main...rticle=9744152

HANNAH'S REACTION

For those that wondered, commented, criticized, and just in general wanted to know:
My daughter came through it fine.

Yes, she's in trouble, and yes she's grounded, but that doesn't mean every moment of her life has to be miserable. She's going to come to terms with the changes that will be present for a while; no TV privileges, no Internet, etc.

In the meantime, once the initial anger passed,... she sat with me reviewing some of the comments that have come in via Facebook and YouTube. One person even suggested collecting the shell casings and auctioning them on eBay. I said I’d do it if it would help contribute to her college fund! When I told her about it, she thought a minute, got a funny calculating expression on her face and said, “in that case you should shoot my phone too. We can use more bullets and I’ll go half-sies with ya on it! It’s not like I’m going to need it any time soon. And I can use the money we get to buy a new one.”

[krisy]

My son who will be 17 on the 19th came upstairs yesterday and insisted I watch this. Not to my surprise,he is completely on the dad's side. He just told me his friends are as well. He said,"mom,nobody should disrespect their parents like that". I agree. On top of being disappointd if my son or daughter did that,I would be hurt.

Hopefully the girl will come back down to earth,and I'm sure someday when she is a parent herself,will understand why her parents were so angry. Sounds like she is getting there.

I gotta applaud dad for being so involved in his kids llives and taking action that is not fun to fix her issues.

[Jess]

My son who will be 17 on the 19th came upstairs yesterday and insisted I watch this. Not to my surprise,he is completely on the dad's side. He just told me his friends are as well. He said,"mom,nobody should disrespect their parents like that". I agree. On top of being disappointd if my son or daughter did that,I would be hurt.

Hopefully the girl will come back down to earth,and I'm sure someday when she is a parent herself,will understand why her parents were so angry. Sounds like she is getting there.

I gotta applaud dad for being so involved in his kids llives and taking action that is not fun to fix her issues.

Most of the replies I read were very positive. Occasionally there was someone making a snide remark but even his daughter says it's not gonna make her commit suicide or end up a stripper. LOL!

It sounds as if he's/they've done a good job during her early years and I thought the way he handled it was great.

[ConHog]

I don't know why this dad is being applauded so much. First, it's HIS fault that his daughter thought that behavior was okay in the first place. Second, from the sounds of it, HE bought the laptop that he filled with lead. Pretty stupid to destroy your own property to teach someone else a lesson. Third, even if stupid, what kind of parent doesn't give their child the freedom of not snooping around their FB page? Actually I reserve judgement on that last one, because based on comments its sounds like he may have caught her posting naughty pics of herself earlier in time. and in that case of course monitoring is needed.

But seriously he said he's in IT , he couldn't just block her access to certain sites without destroying the laptop?

[SassyLady]

Sometimes a parent has to made a very definitive and over-the-top statement to break through a child's current state of mind.

[ConHog]

Sometimes a parent has to made a very definitive and over-the-top statement to break through a child's current state of mind.

No doubt, just from the outside seems like he's no better than she is.

[SassyLady]

I was not a good parent but my daughter will tell you there were a couple of defining events and those made more of an impression than all the rules, regulations and lectures. Sometimes we transcend our every day way of parenting....which takes us to that higher level. Her dad may not be better than her the rest of the time, but this time it worked.

[Jess]

I don't know why this dad is being applauded so much. First, it's HIS fault that his daughter thought that behavior was okay in the first place.

Wait a minute, CH - how is it HIS fault that she's behaving this way? Obviously he has an issue with her behavior.

Second, from the sounds of it, HE bought the laptop that he filled with lead. Pretty stupid to destroy your own property to teach someone else a lesson.

It appears as though he did provide the laptop for her. In the article, he said she'd been grounded from it before but always knew she'd get it back eventually. This way, she only gets a new computer if she works for it and SHE buys it. To his credit, he's not being a total jerk and demanding she pay for the laptop. It appears as though he thinks the price of a computer is small enough to teach his daughter an important lesson. And at least he's got the testicular fortitude to do it in front of God and YouTube vs. her blocking the church and family members from seeing her spoiled little rant.

Third, even if stupid, what kind of parent doesn't give their child the freedom of not snooping around their FB page?

He didn't snoop. Again, the article stated that he was uploading pics to the family dog's page and she hadn't blocked the dog from receiving her posted "statement".

Actually I reserve judgement on that last one, because based on comments its sounds like he may have caught her posting naughty pics of herself earlier in time. and in that case of course monitoring is needed.

But seriously he said he's in IT , he couldn't just block her access to certain sites without destroying the laptop?

Kind of like with a dog/cow/horse - you don't want to train them to get through or over the fences. You gotta stop them, not merely deter them.

It seems to be more than just THIS time, CH. Apparently, it was an ongoing issue, she'd been warned, admonished and none of it made an impact. He made sure this time there was a big impact.

He didn't yell/cuss at her, didn't go off the deep end, didn't belittle or berate her. What he did, the entire world can see. That takes some stones, in my book.

What is most important is that their relationship seems to be intact. She's learning the value of a dollar, the value of work and the value of keeping her mouth shut instead of spouting lots of drama.

[Abbey Marie]

I've been waiting for the anti-gun crowd to chime in with some claim that he's a dangerous parent.

[Jess]

I've been waiting for the anti-gun crowd to chime in with some claim that he's a dangerous parent.

I'm sure they already have. There were people saying she was going to commit suicide, that she would end up a druggie stripper and all other sorts of goofy things.

[krisy]

I don't know why this dad is being applauded so much. First, it's HIS fault that his daughter thought that behavior was okay in the first place. Second, from the sounds of it, HE bought the laptop that he filled with lead. Pretty stupid to destroy your own property to teach someone else a lesson. Third, even if stupid, what kind of parent doesn't give their child the freedom of not snooping around their FB page? Actually I reserve judgement on that last one, because based on comments its sounds like he may have caught her posting naughty pics of herself earlier in time. and in that case of course monitoring is needed.

But seriously he said he's in IT , he couldn't just block her access to certain sites without destroying the laptop?

Without knowing these people personally,there is no way you can blame her behavior on him. As Jess said,he obviously doesn't condone this kind of behavior. I don't know if you have teenagers,but at times,they can be unreasonable. I do not like to judge other parents because you never know just how hard it has been for them.

As far as the snooping.I don't have a problem with it. I believe by all means in letting them have some privacy,but until he/she is 18,it's my business. If this girl had acted up before,especially the way she had,he had every right to protect her by keeping tabs. My husband and I are both "friends" with my son on facebook. Funny thing is,we are friends with some of his friends too. THEY requested us! I guess we're cool At least,they like us,and they should since every weekend I have a group of 1 to 5 boys in the basement playing ps3 and eating pizza. At least I know what they are doing,and a lot of them come up here and talk politics with us even!

Bottom line,you may think it's radical,I think it's an extreme measure to get her thinking the right way,AND protect her from what she isn't seeing as harmful. Thats a parents job.

[Jess]

Without knowing these people personally,there is no way you can blame her behavior on him. As Jess said,he obviously doesn't condone this kind of behavior. I don't know if you have teenagers,but at times,they can be unreasonable. I do not like to judge other parents because you never know just how hard it has been for them.

As far as the snooping.I don't have a problem with it. I believe by all means in letting them have some privacy,but until he/she is 18,it's my business. If this girl had acted up before,especially the way she had,he had every right to protect her by keeping tabs. My husband and I are both "friends" with my son on facebook. Funny thing is,we are friends with some of his friends too. THEY requested us! I guess we're cool At least,they like us,and they should since every weekend I have a group of 1 to 5 boys in the basement playing ps3 and eating pizza. At least I know what they are doing,and a lot of them come up here and talk politics with us even!

Bottom line,you may think it's radical,I think it's an extreme measure to get her thinking the right way,AND protect her from what she isn't seeing as harmful. Thats a parents job.

Yup.

When we were growing up, we couldn't always go to others' homes so much but we could have people over all the time. Since we lived on a small farm (5 acres) and had a cool old barn with a rope swing in the upstairs, along with a basketball hoop and hardwood floors (sounds uppity-er than it was), all our friends wanted to come to our house. Couple that with the fact that my mom was the best baker around - always fresh, home-made cookies and snacks to scarf on.

We also had the church youth group over frequently. Yes, that's pretty lame but we were totally sheltered, so it was fun at the time.

In any case, mom and dad figured at least if we were there, even if there were an additional dozen kids, they knew we were only getting into a manageable amount of trouble.

[ConHog]

Without knowing these people personally,there is no way you can blame her behavior on him. As Jess said,he obviously doesn't condone this kind of behavior. I don't know if you have teenagers,but at times,they can be unreasonable. I do not like to judge other parents because you never know just how hard it has been for them.

As far as the snooping.I don't have a problem with it. I believe by all means in letting them have some privacy,but until he/she is 18,it's my business. If this girl had acted up before,especially the way she had,he had every right to protect her by keeping tabs. My husband and I are both "friends" with my son on facebook. Funny thing is,we are friends with some of his friends too. THEY requested us! I guess we're cool At least,they like us,and they should since every weekend I have a group of 1 to 5 boys in the basement playing ps3 and eating pizza. At least I know what they are doing,and a lot of them come up here and talk politics with us even!

Bottom line,you may think it's radical,I think it's an extreme measure to get her thinking the right way,AND protect her from what she isn't seeing as harmful. Thats a parents job.

Oh, I agree with much of what you say, and yes I have two teens, well they are both almost 20 now and one is not my son, I've just raised him since he was 16. They hang around here most of the time with their friends, alwayys have , horses, 4 wheelers, swimming pool, trampoline, video games, food and drink, who wouldn't? And yes , better to know where they are, but they go down in the basement and that's their own little world for the most part. Mom pokes in once in awhile to make sure it's clean, but that's about it, and has been since they moved down there. But on the other hand, they've never given us reason to not trust them.

[Abbey Marie]

I don't consider this snooping. She didn't write it in a diary. It was put in a very public space- FB.
A privilege she is, btw, getting from her parents paying for and enabling the connectivity.