Womens rights and all that stuff

[gabosaurus]

Since I have been tagged as a "female liberal," I suppose I need to present my views on human rights and women's rights.

First off, women's right. Keep your filthy stinking political hands off my uterus! (Yes, I know it is funky for someone without a functioning uterus to make this statement, but bear with me). If politicians want to make rules about women's sexuality, let them buy hookers like John Edwards did. If you care so much about unborn children, go adopt one. Though you might want to wait for it to be born.
Women should have the right to be women. Sex should be like Bluto and Pearl Harbor -- nothing is over until WE say it is! Remember, no one gets any pudding until they eat their meat.
As for rape and sexual assault, I believe in Sharia Law. A eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Robbers lose their hands. Liars lose their tongues. So it's only appropriate that rapists should lose you-know-what.
Preferably in a public ceremony.

I believe society as a whole should function like this:

A Brazilian airline says one of its female pilots tossed a passenger off a flight because he was making sexist comments about women flying planes. Trip Airlines says in a Tuesday statement the pilot ejected the man before takeoff as he made loud, sexist comments upon learning the pilot was a woman. The jet continued on after a one-hour delay.

If you don't agree, go buy a Fleshbot.

And now, human rights.
Yes, I believe in human rights. But I have a tough time conjuring up angry feeling about mistreated dissidents in foreign countries. I am more concerned about my family and the kids I work with.
When I am dealing kids who live with uncaring parents in run down barrio housing, it becomes a bit more important that some woman who is imprisoned in Iran or Tibet.
My protesting days ended when I got married and became a parent. I have left behind documentaries and political discussions in favor of old sitcoms and the Animal Channel.

I also believe that all gays and lesbians should be free to come out of the closet. You will never get a good tan there.

[Abbey Marie]

And that's how it's done.