http://www.worldtribune.com/worldtribune/nl09.html
An interesting article. Something to think about.
http://www.worldtribune.com/worldtribune/nl09.html
An interesting article. Something to think about.
What that woman said was all true.
Like anything else, I would say it depends on the individual. Sex can be for fun, but only if both parties know it's for fun. Honesty about one's expectations is far more important than some fake concept of "chasteness" that only applies to women. IMO, of course.
who says it applies only to women? The woman was giving her experience, which is naturally going to be a womans. She doesnt have or even claim experience as a man.
There is a reason that fire is a common metaphor for those who engage in casual sex. If you play with fire, you are going to get burnt.
"Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?
"Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? . . .
"But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
"A wound and dishonor shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away." (Proverbs 6:27-33)
Casual sex DOES hurt women more... at least more OBVIOUSLY. Look at the emotional symbolism of the physical act. The man seeks to enter, to gain acceptance. He seeks to please his partner and to gain release. Once the sex act is completed, he has attained his goals. He has been accepted. He has achieved.
But the woman must first GIVE, before the act even takes place. She must open herself up and allow entrance. She must TRUST before the act is completed. She may get physical pleasure out of the act, but the emotional benefits? A woman wants a sense of VALUE out of sex. She has opened her most intimate self, and she wants to feel special, valued, protected. These emotional benefits take place AFTER the act is over. If the partners go their separate ways, how is she to gain these benefits?
Feminists have told women that it's all in fun, that we should just enjoy the ride. But, after opening ourselves, how are we NOT supposed to feel abandoned? Women can numb themselves to the bad feelings after repeated engagements, but they are still there, underneath. And in refusing to withhold herself until she is with a partner who values her, the woman is telling herself that she doesn't need to be valued.
As a result, women very often embitter themselves against men, as a defense mechanism. They seek to devalue the men whom, in their eyes, have devalued them. We now see a society in which men are held as bumbling dopes, unworthy of their superior wives/girlfriends. This is how casual sex hurts men, too.
The way the emotional mechanics of sex are SUPPOSED to work is this: A man seeks acceptance, and the woman opens herself in trust. Once opened, the man protects her vulnerability by staying with her, making her feel valued (the stereotypical "will you HOLD me?").
Now comes the part feminists absolutely HATE. This is the part that men who engage in casual sex miss. When a man sticks around and makes his wife/woman feel valued, he gains her ADMIRATION. Yes, women can actually LOOK UP to men and ADMIRE them. And men like to be admired, so they place more VALUE on women who admire them. See how that works?
Casual sex ruins it for everyone. I won't even get into the effects on kids.
People can be and like to be admired. That's what you meant, right?
I hear the war cryl of the femanazis as I type this.
I think it can be ok, but that 95+ percent of the time, someone is getting hurt and, yes, usually it's the woman. I admit I have had casual sex in the past. well, I was wearing jeans and a shirt with no collar. But seriously folks. It's not the greatest thing. I think the important thing is that all people be honest about their intentions, and with themselves about their true needs. I think it IS possible for a woman to just want to get nailed and not care about being held or attachment, but it's not usually the case.
The bible fore-told a time when people would believe lies - it's simply an UnTruth that casual sex harms nobody. It's falsehood. It's fallacy.
It's so weird - I mean, even a non-christian should be amazed.
Today's PC crowd...socially liberal crowd fits those words MORE AND MORE as time goes on.24Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
26Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.
28Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. 29They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.
“… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.
i prefer serious sex....casual sex is a little too laid back for me
Last edited by manu1959; 02-05-2007 at 08:11 PM.
"I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is."
~Albert Camus