Big plans

[cadet]

Ok, here's what's up. Technically, I have the money to propose to my girlfriend. But, I'm cheep, and don't want to spend the money, cause it takes my entire bank account/college fund down to 1,000 for a bit. I can always just put all the money I make during school back into my account. So I guess money's not that big of a deal. (But i'm a cheep Jew like my mom )

I've been telling this girl that I might have the money to propose around winter, and she's all pissed cause she knows how much money I have, (accidentally started bragging about my funds).

So, she's currently pissed. I got to thinking, and this might be perfect. My whole plan for proposing to her wasn't the "show up on doorstep and drop on my knee" but a little more in depth than that.
I'm going to cut all communication to her, except for a letter, sealed with wax. (having all her friends in on it too, of course) that letter's going to have clues sending her to our first date, where i'll then have the little old lady that works there give her another note, which will take her to another area that will have one of her friends dressed kinda sketchy, and hand her another suspicious note.
When she get's to the last note, (after 5 times of going through this) I'm going to have her "Save me" where I'll be back at our first date site with a ring in hand. With as many friends and family as possible there as well, it's a skating rink, so there's stuff to do) And of course, I'll be keeping contact with her friends and family the entire time. Not sure how long it will take, but I think I could pull it off.

I figure that since she's currently pissed, and under the impression that I'm going to ask later more than sooner, it's the best time to screw with her head.
And if she really cares enough, she'll make it through the entire adventure.
And then, that'll give us the entire school year to wait before we tie the knot.


What do ya'll think? My parents included.

I mean, I could always wait till winter like I told her... but...

[aboutime]

Up to you. You rarely, if ever paid any attention to my suggestions previously. Why should I think you will now?

Do what you gotta do. You asked. I answered.

[cadet]

Up to you. You rarely, if ever paid any attention to my suggestions previously. Why should I think you will now?

Do what you gotta do. You asked. I answered.

So deep. You're so inspiring.

[aboutime]

So deep. You're so inspiring.

Did you, or did you not ask "what do we think?"

Inspiration isn't what you asked for.

[Kathianne]

Cadet, the 'plan' sounds good. "Cutting all communication?" How long a period are you thinking of? One might go from 'pissed' to 'furious' quite quickly.

[cadet]

Did you, or did you not ask "what do we think?"

Inspiration isn't what you asked for.

I suppose I can throw in some more info.
she's going to be a freshman, I'm going to be a junior.
Just wondering if now would be the right time. or if it's too soon.

[aboutime]

I suppose I can throw in some more info.
she's going to be a freshman, I'm going to be a junior.
Just wondering if now would be the right time. or if it's too soon.

Go where your Heart tell's you to go. You can get all of us to suggest what to do. But, we're not you. Have no idea what is going on, other than what you have told us.

I've been married 44 years. So, I am the last person you need to hear from on this topic. Love, and Marriage are different things to different people.
The choice, and final decision must be ALL YOURS!

[Kathianne]

I suppose I can throw in some more info.
she's going to be a freshman, I'm going to be a junior.
Just wondering if now would be the right time. or if it's too soon.

Wow, so she's like 18? In a year getting married? How does she finish school? I guess this part really is between you all and your parents.

[Abbey Marie]

Cadet, I am not going to pull any punches here, so if you are offended, sorry for that, but I have to be honest. It sends up a big red flag to me that such a young girl is "pissed" that you aren't proposing fast enough for her liking.

[Kathianne]

Cadet, I am not going to pull any punches here, so if you are offended, sorry for that, but I have to be honest. It sends up a big red flag to me that such a young girl is "pissed" that you aren't proposing fast enough for her liking.

Yeah, sort of hit me that way too, problem is that we have similar backgrounds regarding education and such. I didn't get married until 25, all of my kids were older than that. It never dawned on me that my kids would consider getting engaged, much less married while still in school. There are many though that do, just not mine. LOL!

Cadet has a very close family, I think that's pretty obvious. It may be more the norm for that family.

[aboutime]

Cadet, I am not going to pull any punches here, so if you are offended, sorry for that, but I have to be honest. It sends up a big red flag to me that such a young girl is "pissed" that you aren't proposing fast enough for her liking.

Abbey. Thanks for adding that. Most of us Terrible Old Folks know nothing about such things. Personally. I believe too many young people rush into making decisions that..if honored, should last a lifetime. But, we all know. That's no longer true when more than 50% of today's marriages end up in divorce, or separations.

Of course. As Cadet asked for advice. I know he probably wouldn't pay any attention to me...as someone OVER THE HILL, and unable to know what Cadet might be going through in life. Because, I should mind my own business and not try to tell anyone what to do.
But...if someone asks, then turns down the advice. WHAT'S THE USE?

[Abbey Marie]

Yeah, sort of hit me that way too, problem is that we have similar backgrounds regarding education and such. I didn't get married until 25, all of my kids were older than that. It never dawned on me that my kids would consider getting engaged, much less married while still in school. There are many though that do, just not mine. LOL!

Cadet has a very close family, I think that's pretty obvious. It may be more the norm for that family.

It's no so much that they are young; I agree with you that that is a cultural thing, and may be fine for them. It was really that she is pissed. I don't think anyone should be proposing under those circumstances. The fact that she is so young just made her hurry even more odd to me.

[Thunderknuckles]

Cadet, I am not going to pull any punches here, so if you are offended, sorry for that, but I have to be honest. It sends up a big red flag to me that such a young girl is "pissed" that you aren't proposing fast enough for her liking.

Firs thing I thought as well. Not only pissed about his timing but pissed that he isn't dropping down the cash for it, unless I read that wrong.

[aboutime]

It's no so much that they are young; I agree with you that that is a cultural thing, and may be fine for them. It was really that she is pissed. I don't think anyone should be propose under those circumstances. The fact that she is so young just made her hurry even more odd to me.

Agreed. Sounds like a really terrible way to begin a lasting relationship. I still believe he should follow his heart. If he truly Loves this young lady enough to propose.
There's no better time than....RIGHT NOW.

[Abbey Marie]

Agreed. Sounds like a really terrible way to begin a lasting relationship. I still believe he should follow his heart. If he truly Loves this young lady enough to propose.
There's no better time than....RIGHT NOW.

Why, AT, you're a romantic guy.