You might be a redneck if...

[Jeff]

1 You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2 The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3 You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4 You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
5 You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6 Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'
7 You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8 Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9 Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
And in closing....
Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"

[red state]

Ooohh, Oh,, OH......I got one!

An old Cherokee Chief saw on the news that an extremely harsh winter was being forecast so he instructed his people to gather a large supply of firewood. After the next day's even worse news about the coming harsh winter, he instructed them to get three times more. After several days of this, his people began to complain so he himself complained to the news station and after voicing his opinion of how in the world that bad of a winter could possibly be......the news station manager said that they KNEW it was so because their weather man had observed how frantically the local Cherokee had been gathering record breaking amounts of fire wood......

[DLT]

1 you let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2 the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3 you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4 you think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
5 you wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6 someone in your family died right after saying, 'hey, guys, watch this.'
7 you think dom perignon is a mafia leader.
8 your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9 your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the star-spangled banner are 'gentlemen, start your engines.'
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the house of tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
And in closing....
Two good ol' boys in a alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local nissan plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "if'n i was to sneak over to your trailer saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
the 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "well, i don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"

l m a o !!!

[Shadow]

My cousins can relate to this if they even worked summers at my grandfathers business digging ditches and hauling rock.



<big>You consider a good tan to be the back of of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve...</big>

[Shadow]

You have an Elvis Jello Mold

[Little-Acorn]

You know you're a redneck, if your home is mobile and your six cars aren't.