I'm sorry

[jimnyc]

Where I worked previously I had a long conversation with HR that I kind of disagreed with at the time. They told me at mattered very little what I thought about my own words. Let me give a little background...

While the place was huge, the tech room was just a bunch of guys. Of course, being away from the rest of the company, one door, no windows - we often spoke like we were at the local bar. Sometimes we called one another some names that weren't too nice if you didn't know us. We laughed at the names and were all the best of friends. We couldn't understand what the big deal was.

Perception. What they said mattered is what the people heard, and whether it was offensive to them or not. You call a friend a dirty name - in a friendly manner - all that matters is how they perceived the words you spoke. This also went various other ways. If someone you weren't huge friends with, they use bad words in front of you, even if meant friendly, all that matters is how you perceived it. Same with others who simply overhear the words.

What is my point? The perception we give off with racism on our board. And once again, am I one of the worst offenders? I often will start threads about Ferguson, Sharpton, crime statistics... Some perceive my words as racist in nature. I don't use the N word unless contextually necessary. I don't name call if I can help it, and I try my best to avoid what perceptions might be seen by guest readers. But I understand the world we live in, and some will see racism if you just write the word "black man" - or even "Obama sucks".

But I think the majority, the overwhelming majority, know the major differences. Perception can insult. Discussions really shouldn't. Someone shouldn't be offended if I discuss crime within their particular race. Nor when I discuss current major events that discuss racial aspects. Nor pointing out racists like Sharpton. But other things said, even if we don't realize it at times, could send off vibes that one is racist. And even that is OK to an extent, anyone is free to be racist if they like.

I created and deleted a subforum awhile back that catered to "race relations". I made it so that the threads didn't show up at the top of the board. Then I moved the threads and deleted that forum. I don't want to do that again, as it's not fair to either side.

Some of the problem is subjects "leaking" from one thread to another. Often there will be a thread with good discussion, and sometimes a piece of it may be continued in another thread. Problem is, now those words are out of context for readers. In a Ferguson thread, a mention about black crime may seem innocent enough. Mentioning black crime in a thread about Twinkies may not sound quite as nice.

Sometimes it's meant as humor. But sometimes on man's humor is another man's insult.

ALL I'm asking is to please think of context. Keep threads on topic. Think about the perception of DP. Think of us as "family", and do you want your family looked upon a negative fashion? Do you know if we have black members or readers? What about other races? And please don't say you don't care, as this is a community, and we need to think about all of us as a package deal.

I'm sorry for things I have said that may have been perceived negatively, whether stated as such, or perceived incorrectly. Sometimes I don't write very well. Sometimes my out of control posts poke others into following suit.

And please don't yell at me for this. This isn't censorship or being a nazi or any of that crap. I'm not saying "you can't do this?" I'm simply speaking to the community, those who want this place to grow, explaining things, taking my responsibility, and hoping we can be a little better contextually and/or think about how we write things and how it may be perceived by the masses.

If I'm that way off base, you are free to ignore me, or politely explain how this is a wrong request.

[tailfins]

Mentioning black crime in a thread about Twinkies may not sound quite as nice.

Is the problem about black twinkies them being perpetrators or victims of crime?

Sometimes it's meant as humor. But sometimes on man's humor is another man's insult.

ALL I'm asking is to please think of context. Keep threads on topic. Think about the perception of DP. Think of us as "family", and do you want your family looked upon a negative fashion? Do you know if we have black members or readers? What about other races? And please don't say you don't care, as this is a community, and we need to think about all of us as a package deal.

I'm sorry for things I have said that may have been perceived negatively, whether stated as such, or perceived incorrectly. Sometimes I don't write very well. Sometimes my out of control posts poke others into following suit.

And please don't yell at me for this. This isn't censorship or being a nazi or any of that crap. I'm not saying "you can't do this?" I'm simply speaking to the community, those who want this place to grow, explaining things, taking my responsibility, and hoping we can be a little better contextually and/or think about how we write things and how it may be perceived by the masses.

If I'm that way off base, you are free to ignore me, or politely explain how this is a wrong request.

I do keep in mind not being a deterrent to new members joining when I post. On the other side of the scale, people won't join/post if they feel like they need to walk on eggshells.

Oh, and my standard reply to someone saying they are "sorry": YOU CERTAINLY ARE.

[jimnyc]

Is the problem about black twinkies them being perpetrators or victims of crime?



I do keep in mind not being a deterrent to new members joining when I post. On the other side of the scale, people won't join/post if they feel like they need to walk on eggshells.

Oh, and my standard reply to someone saying they are "sorry": YOU CERTAINLY ARE.

No egg shells!! Like I said, it's a request to keep things in context is all. It's not like folks are going to be banned if they speak their minds. I think it's helpful to the community as a whole that we pay attention to such things. Even yourself state that you sorta think about such things. This is just something else to think about prior to hitting the enter button. Nothing wrong with an explanation to everyone with the hopes that we can all take a peek as we post and decide. No one is harmed.

And your last comment is cool. If someone apologizes, and means it, then they ARE "sorry" for their actions/words. So pointing it out with emphasis is no biggie.

[Kathianne]

Jim, thanks for giving voice to what many of have been feeling, the board has lately been projecting a mindset that many of us do not share. When one tries to address in some form, they are called names or it's implied they are pandering. It's not true.

One can easily agree that the students at OU acted out in the very worst of fashion, while defending the first amendment. Acting like them would make one a knucklehead; acting like the University President, likewise. Saying that the students should be shunned, well that does make sense. This is not being PC, this is about being civil and an adult.

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

There is a reason why I am only now making my first comment to this thread. You see I post exactly what I think and whether it be right or wrong its the truth as I see it and know it. Yet there are those that avoid answering in debate with me by calling those TRUTHS A DEROGORATORY TERM, saying its just me "ranting". Ok, lets just say it is me "ranting", can not a rant have truth in it?

I've been here long enough to make lots of friends and trust me they are very good people as I shy the hell away from the other kind. Although not ever out of fear but always out of the use of common sense and adhering to my core principles.

Now, on to the free speech and posting here aspect. Of course there has to be some limits or else it is a damn free for all chaotic mess 24/7--like some boards are! Who the hell wants that?
The problem is how much leeway is given when a regular member goes out on a limb when speaking on a subject he or she may be very passionate about. Are they to be called on the carpet about it or just let in go because judging their past history of postings shows they are not trolling nor are they a raving racist/bigot/homophobe!

Currently in my view there is a bit too much of the false accusations part going on here by one or two members to AVOID certain truths when pointed out to them in a debate.
This avoidance by casting out the accusation of troll or bigot or racist or "ranter" gets old after a couple years!

Here is a suggestion, how about those charging a member with being a troll, etc just contact admin here and have the ffing matter settled by those in charge!

After facing three solid years of having that false accusation leveled at me I decide a few months ago to slow down my posting here and to leave by mid year!

I am not a shy or sensitive guy but logging in everyday and seeing the false accusation made does get old.

Sure, I've been blessed to have some mighty fine people here become my friends but myself its just too damn irritating to see most of my sourced/linked posts charged off as rants, bigotry or racism . And then see that ffing false charged thanked by others.

Closing down my poetry thread most likely this month. My thread showing the truth about Islam I am closing down by June..

YALL ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY...---Tyr

[gabosaurus]

There is a reason why I am only now making my first comment to this thread. You see I post exactly what I think and whether it be right or wrong its the truth as I see it and know it. Yet there are those that avoid answering in debate with me by calling those TRUTHS A DEROGORATORY TERM, saying its just me "ranting". Ok, lets just say it is me "ranting", can not a rant have truth in it?

Dude, you seriously need to chill out.
First of all, you are committing the cardinal sin of taking this board too seriously. It's the internet. You yell at someone. They yell at you back. It's all water off a duck's back.
I have heated arguments with you. I get pissed off at you. But I respect you. The fact that I sometimes choose not to debate you in depth means I either don't have the time, or am not interested enough in the subject matter.
You are not right all the time. No one is. Even Republicans are not right all the time.
Stop pouting and go back to swinging.

[tailfins]

There is a reason why I am only now making my first comment to this thread. You see I post exactly what I think and whether it be right or wrong its the truth as I see it and know it. Yet there are those that avoid answering in debate with me by calling those TRUTHS A DEROGORATORY TERM, saying its just me "ranting". Ok, lets just say it is me "ranting", can not a rant have truth in it?

I've been here long enough to make lots of friends and trust me they are very good people as I shy the hell away from the other kind. Although not ever out of fear but always out of the use of common sense and adhering to my core principles.

Now, on to the free speech and posting here aspect. Of course there has to be some limits or else it is a damn free for all chaotic mess 24/7--like some boards are! Who the hell wants that?
The problem is how much leeway is given when a regular member goes out on a limb when speaking on a subject he or she may be very passionate about. Are they to be called on the carpet about it or just let in go because judging their past history of postings shows they are not trolling nor are they a raving racist/bigot/homophobe!

Currently in my view there is a bit too much of the false accusations part going on here by one or two members to AVOID certain truths when pointed out to them in a debate.
This avoidance by casting out the accusation of troll or bigot or racist or "ranter" gets old after a couple years!

Here is a suggestion, how about those charging a member with being a troll, etc just contact admin here and have the ffing matter settled by those in charge!

After facing three solid years of having that false accusation leveled at me I decide a few months ago to slow down my posting here and to leave by mid year!

I am not a shy or sensitive guy but logging in everyday and seeing the false accusation made does get old.

Sure, I've been blessed to have some mighty fine people here become my friends but myself its just too damn irritating to see most of my sourced/linked posts charged off as rants, bigotry or racism . And then see that ffing false charged thanked by others.

Closing down my poetry thread most likely this month. My thread showing the truth about Islam I am closing down by June..

YALL ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY...---Tyr

When did you stop beating your dog?

[jimnyc]

Currently in my view there is a bit too much of the false accusations part going on here by one or two members to AVOID certain truths when pointed out to them in a debate.
This avoidance by casting out the accusation of troll or bigot or racist or "ranter" gets old after a couple years!

Here is a suggestion, how about those charging a member with being a troll, etc just contact admin here and have the ffing matter settled by those in charge!

After facing three solid years of having that false accusation leveled at me I decide a few months ago to slow down my posting here and to leave by mid year!

I understand where you come from, but understand that those things are solely between member to member. Staff doesn't condone nor condemn. I don't think you're a troll at all. I think pointing out facts/truths are not racist at all. I think sometimes when we post, we can also be a little racist at times, particularly when speaking about Obama. But I don't see you as a racist/bigot, unless speaking about Islam. <---- and I'm right there with you on that one. Ranting? Hell, we all rant about our favorite subject at times.

When people don't like one another, that person is a troll/ranter or whatever. I do it, and others do it to me. I was accused of being a nazi for a long time. I am German, but it's still a tad harsh!

[fj1200]

... You see I post exactly what I think and whether it be right or wrong its the truth as I see it and know it. Yet there are those that avoid answering in debate with me by calling those TRUTHS A DEROGORATORY TERM, saying its just me "ranting". Ok, lets just say it is me "ranting", can not a rant have truth in it?

...

Currently in my view there is a bit too much of the false accusations part going on here by one or two members to AVOID certain truths when pointed out to them in a debate.

...

You're kidding right? You don't really want to be challenged.

[tailfins]

No egg shells!! Like I said, it's a request to keep things in context is all. It's not like folks are going to be banned if they speak their minds. I think it's helpful to the community as a whole that we pay attention to such things. Even yourself state that you sorta think about such things. This is just something else to think about prior to hitting the enter button. Nothing wrong with an explanation to everyone with the hopes that we can all take a peek as we post and decide. No one is harmed.

And your last comment is cool. If someone apologizes, and means it, then they ARE "sorry" for their actions/words. So pointing it out with emphasis is no biggie.

I'm glad we're on the same page, YOU SORRY S.O.B.

[jimnyc]

I'm glad we're on the same page, YOU SORRY S.O.B.

Now, me being sorry, and me being an SOB are 2 different things. Not that you're incorrect about that, but I only addressed myself being "sorry". You, not so sneakily, added in the insult. Now, I hope a very small spider crawls into your ear and lays eggs.

[gabosaurus]

If you are a true Christian, then you believe that God created everyone in his own image. And that no person is superior or inferior to another. If you can't approach a person of another race, religion or ethnicity on the street and embrace them as your brother, then you are not a Christian. Simple as that.
Some very famous people have believed that one race is better than others. Hitler was one of them. Perhaps you agree with him. A lot of people still do.
The only real second-class citizens are those who believe in the concept of second class citizens. There is no difference between the concept of whites being superior to blacks and the concept of one religion being superior to another.
The first amendment gives everyone the right to free speech. But you should also remember that everyone is judged by their words and deeds.

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

[indago]

Now, me being sorry, and me being an SOB are 2 different things. Not that you're incorrect about that, but I only addressed myself being "sorry". You, not so sneakily, added in the insult. Now, I hope a very small spider crawls into your ear and lays eggs.

I am reminded of the short story about the earwig...

[Perianne]

Where I worked previously I had a long conversation with HR that I kind of disagreed with at the time. They told me at mattered very little what I thought about my own words. Let me give a little background...

I suppose I see things differently. Jim, if you are interested, PM me.

[jimnyc]

I suppose I see things differently. Jim, if you are interested, PM me.

I'm shooting you a PM in a second...

But you are also welcome to chime in here. Maybe others can understand one another better? This is just a discussion. Based on what you quoted from me, I'm confused.