WTF? Tried to have sex with a van?

[jimnyc]

Police: Ohio Man, 35, Tried To Have Sex With A Red Van

Just when you think you have seen it all, a guy goes and allegedly tries to fornicate with a red van.

On Tuesday evening, cops in Dayton, Ohio received a 911 call about a man "pulling his pants down and swinging on stop sign," according to a Dayton Police Department report.

In a second 911 call, the witness told police that the suspect was attempting to have sex with the front grill of a parked vehicle.

The 911 caller reported that during the autoerotic encounter the suspect was seen "sticking his genitals in the grill of a red van at this intersection." The man subsequently "laid down and possibly passed out" before rising to begin walking in circles "like he is on some type of drug."

The victim was parked at the time, cops say.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/...h-a-van-648930

[NightTrain]

Don't judge!

And don't even try to say you wouldn't do the same thing with this beauty.

[Gunny]

I'm not even sure how to address this. First, why is Jim looking at videos like this come to mind.

Second, I want whatever drug that guy is doing. Not that I care about vans, but I've never been THAT f-ed up. I've destroyed a garage and still didn't hump the truck.

[jimnyc]

I'm not even sure how to address this. First, why is Jim looking at videos like this come to mind.

Second, I want whatever drug that guy is doing. Not that I care about vans, but I've never been THAT f-ed up. I've destroyed a garage and still didn't hump the truck.

It was on the 'smoking gun' website, ya dirty bastard!

But seriously, the grill of a van? I didn't think any amount of alcohol or drugs would do that. Methinks it's more a matter of cuckoo for coco puffs.

[NightTrain]

Well.. just look at this guy :




After seeing him, I'd be kinda surprised if he didn't try to screw a van.

[jimnyc]

"pulling his pants down and swinging on a stop sign"

Another WTF? Maybe some sort of mating call?

And yeah, with his looks, perhaps his mating call was simply to a stop sign, maybe the best he can do? And then once he was rebuffed he was angered to the point that he then went and violated the red guy?

[Gunny]

It was on the 'smoking gun' website, ya dirty bastard!

But seriously, the grill of a van? I didn't think any amount of alcohol or drugs would do that. Methinks it's more a matter of cuckoo for coco puffs.

Smoking Gun had a video a couple years ago with some dude humping the tail end of a Bronco. And you're talking to a guy that had to drive home with one eye shut? I'm like okay ... you people make me feel normal.

[Abbey Marie]

Maybe I'm naive, but if one wants to have sex with a car, wouldn't the tail pipe be a more natural design?

[Elessar]

Just shakes his head in amazement.

Lower level of the gene pool....pool needs to be backflushed!

[sundaydriver]

Did you think that minivans just magically appear?

[OAK]

Maybe I'm naive, but if one wants to have sex with a car, wouldn't the tail pipe be a more natural design?

Sounds like you may have put some thought into this. Are you speaking from experience?