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  1. #1
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    Default Life Experiences, BE THEY GOOD OR BAD

    This thread will be about---
    My life experiences as best as I can remember them, going back as far as the mid 60's...
    Should it bore you, then don't bother reading.
    However, what you read will be posted with no ego driven embellishments and as raw, good or bad as it is/was.
    Any failings shall be in my memory and not intentional. Each may be a short story or just a brief comment about a time place, person, thing or event.
    Bear with me, as this is not intended to be a lesson in grammar, writing, etc....
    Maybe more like an open book on my mistakes, and wild life as a young man.

    Today, first one..

    I was 15 years old, 1969 and head over heels in love with the prettiest girl that ever wore a mini-skirt. My, my the visions I had of her naked and us in a very private place! Such thoughts if a reality would have melted paint off the walls! As she was just that hot and two years older than I.
    I mean this girl could have posed for PLAYBOY and quite likely have modeled had she ever chosen that path.
    THERE WAS JUST ONE PROBLEM, SHE BEING OLDER LIKED OLDER GUYS- THUS I KNEW I HAD NO CHANCE.
    And jumping ahead a few years(7 to be exact), when I got that chance I was married to my first wife and did not dare act upon it(but that is another story)..
    Having zero chance with that vision did nothing to stop my imagination and night dreams! And those dreams were so real I often had visible proof the following morning, even tho' I had never woke up during the night.
    What made this worse is that she would from time to time(perhaps because of my bad/tough image) give me that inviting look/smile..
    And no not in a tease way , as some gals did to guys but in a real way(which years later she admitted was real interest)..
    Fast forward a year, at age 16, upon my older brother''s suggestion, I finally started talking to her a bit. Now she was 18 years old at that time and in a serious relationship with a guy(Ron) in his first year of college, age 19/20 years old..
    After a couple months she told me one day, you know if Ron and I ever break it off, maybe we can go out and you can show me what you got....
    OK,this sounded damn interesting terminology, birthing hopes and even more fevered dreams. I began praying for that break-up, even a car accident
    that disposed of the guy.
    Fate saw fit to crash me into another beautiful gal's life and 'she was not in a relationship with anybody.
    So being a selfish, very eager and sex driven young male I dived into the real thing and with gusto.
    Once that experience came into play,I lost interest in any future promised treasure that would likely never -come-!
    The first dream, the first vision, the first hottest gal to ever crank my motor just faded away when going up against the real deal!
    When facing off against the first experiences of sex and lust with a very willing and hot sexy girl..

    Now folks, aint that tha way of the world?

    And why women think we men are (all?)dawgs? Because at times we damn sure are!
    More later about the first mini-skirt vision girl, (if I do no forget), because the first paint on the wall melting gal comes around AGAIN WHEN I AM NO LONGER JUST A SEX-HUNGRY BOY SEEKING HIS FIRST REAL EXPERIENCE....INSTEAD I AM A MARRIED MAN...

    ............................
    -Tyr
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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  3. #2
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    Saturday afternoon, I was in the liquor store talking to the owner Charles, an older gent about 60 years old. He was a pretty good egg and me being only 19 he shared a lot of information about my father, a man he knew well. We were great friends and I always bought my liquor there. This day I ignored his advice and almost paid dearly for it.
    Now the front of the store had a huge glass window , one could see the entire parking lot from inside the store. We chatted for about 20 minutes when we heard tires screeching, and saw a car full of guys come to an abrupt halt in the middle of the parking lot. Standing next to it was a friend of my twin brothers. He was soon having serious words with these guys. We could hear the arguing and see fists being shaken.

    This is were I step in and say to Charles. I am going to go out and see what all the damn ruckus is about.
    Now Charles replied, "Robert looks like 5 men in that car and not even you can best 5 angry men if it comes to that" (he spoke true words!).
    I laughed and returned fire by saying, "well Charles, what I cant whip I am damn sure I can outrun"!
    Charles gave me that look, the one that says you couldnt run from a fight if your life depended on it(he spoke true words).
    A fountain of wisdom he was, having been a city cop in my hometown back in the 40/50's. He stood 6 foot 5 inches barefooted and was built like a tank. Drank like a fish and had now retired to run that liquor store. Retired due to a car wreck that left him with an injured right arm and very bad back. So I knew why he warned me about being so curious--for he knew if it got rough(and it did) he couldnt lend me a much needed hand.

    With a wave of the hand, a dismissal typical of youthful bravado I opened the door and crossed over to the rising conflict .
    At about 15 feet from the car, my brother's friend turns to point at me and say, "Hell yes you sons abitches this is my slack."!
    Now this was news to me , since I barely knew the guy!
    Yet before I could answer one of the men in the car yells out, no problem we can beat hell out of him too! (Charles was right)
    Without missing a beat, I replied, "well , you bastards just step right on out to get your ffing medicine"! (I never did have good sense when angered)..
    Why had I invited all of them instead of just the one that spoke? I tell ya. When pissed, I did some crazy shit. And that was no exception, for out they started piling!
    Here is where my eyes got huge, one cat piling out was big as the hulk(truth), damn scary looking beast he was, the others gave me no serious concern except for their numbers.
    As this was happening my brother's friend started retreating, Charles was yelling out the door, run Robert RUN!
    TOO BAD, MY ANGER HAD HIT ITS USUAL MARK, I STARTED TAGGING THE FIRST ONE THAT REACHED ME...
    THEN THE NEXT, BY TIME THE THIRD ONE REACHED ME I HAD SLOWED A BIT AND HE ALMOST KNOCKED ME OUT WITH HIS FIRST HIT.

    Now I was backing up as I found out that my youthful bravado was worth about as much as a damn plug nickel !
    The big guy had gotten out of the car last and had not even reached me yet--but that ffing giant was on his way!
    I saw that and it suddenly occurred to me that running wasnt such a'bad option!

    Suddenly from out of nowhere it seemed , my older brother came racing from the bar on the other side of the parking lot.
    He flew past me, knocked completely out the first attacking he came to and then engaged the onrushing giant!
    I do not mind admitting that damn giant had me scared! He wore only blue jeans and shoes, no shirt and he was ripped!

    As they fought , my brother and this damn behemoth, I was still standing, and only one other attacker engaged me.
    I popped him right between the eyes, knocking him out of action.
    As I rushed across the parking lot to help my brother he screamed out- ""stay out of this, I dont need you'"!"(he was right)

    Now the street in front of the liquor store was full of traffic all stopped and watching. I stopped and watched.
    The giants buddies stopped and watched.
    They all watched as a 5' 11" tall , 190 lb local man stomped the living hell out of a 6' 5" tall, 250 lb (or greater) stranger!

    My brother came out of that fight with just a bloody nose ( his first ever after at least 30 fights) and nothing else. The giant after having been knocked the hell out, was loaded in the car and the five men raced away.

    Here is where I now almost got my ass stomped(besides the previous encounter had he not helped!).
    My older brother, demanded to know why 5 men we attacking me!
    When I explained, he got even more pissed at me for being a damn dumb-ass and getting involved in crap that was none of my damn business!
    I not wanting to have my ass stomped, raced back into the liquor store knowing if he entered Charles would most assuredly stop him from stomping me too badly.
    He entered, Charles stepped between us and smoothed things over.
    My brothers parting words as he left was, "You punk, you caused me to get my first bloody nose"! Do not let me see you face for few days, iffin you are smart".(I was this time)-

    Next came Charles, pointing out how correct his previous warning to me was. I tell you, he was a damn good man! He gave me a half-pint of whiskey(no charge) , started laughing at my folly and declared watching that fight was the best entertainment that he had in over ten years!

    To cap it off was his remark," come back next Saturday Robert and lets do it all over again!
    I shot back with-- "Ok Charles, iffin ya got about ten grand to pay me! .....and another 20 grand to pay the real bad-ass that saved me!

    And that was because after watching that giant fight and even with his getting knocked the hell out by my older brother -I knew he would have stomped me! Maybe even killed me...
    For it was the giant's girlfriend the argument was over and he was hopping mad at my younger brother's friend, Jeff-- for sneaking around with her, ok for bedding her a few times..

    Next story will be about how this same friend, Jeff, and how he got killed, by a 12 ga. shotgun blast to the chest . After my warning him not to go to his 15 year old girlfriend's home and trying to run away with her to get married.
    He did same as I had done previously when not heeding Charles sage advice - he also paid no attention to a very sound warning from me - only it got him killed. -Tyr

    Note- Story is true and told from memory of events that occurred back in summer of 1973...
    Any errors in the telling are minor and nothing has been intentionally- changed, exaggerated or omitted.
    The name used in the story-Jeff- is not the deceased man's real name. He got killed the next summer, but that is another story....
    Last edited by Tyr-Ziu Saxnot; 12-28-2016 at 11:23 AM.
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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  5. #3
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    Here is the sad story as I promised in a reply in previous story told..
    SEE QUOTED NOTE BELOW, FROM PREVIOUS STORY TOLD......-Tyr

    Note- Story is true and told from memory of events that occurred back in summer of 1973...
    Any errors in the telling are minor and nothing has been intentionally- changed, exaggerated or omitted.
    The name used in the story-Jeff- is not the deceased man's real name. He got killed the next summer, but that is another story....

    How Being Stubborn and Stupid Gets One Killed.
    ( A SAD AND TRUE STORY)

    I remember a burning hot summer day. I had partied like a happy fool the night before, having a Friday night blast!
    I had started out that day drinking cold, cold beer while gambling on the pool table(making mulla!),
    but had switched that night to my favorite whiskey.
    And as was want to happen, that combo switch, got me drunker than ole Cooter Brown and caused my ending up missing my regular, early Saturday morn at the card tables in my favorite tavern by the river bridge in town. My arriving late is the cause for me running into my friend, Jeff(not his real name).
    The young man I previously mention in my other story, that later got killed.
    This is that sad, sad story.
    This cat was ok, but a far better friend with my younger twin brothers than he was to me! Remember it was he that almost got me stomped by that carload of men as told in my previous story. The one where my older brother(the giant slayer) saved my bacon!
    I recently lost that tooth, which was damaged from one of the punches in that fight- man that pissed me off then and again recently-- but I
    digress..
    Ok, back to the story..
    I woke up that morn, a damn sad sight for timid and tender eyes! Had a splitting headache and only one beer in the fridge to ease it off a bit!
    Just who the hell had drank the other five?
    Hell, I guess my other older brother Jessie, had came in and took my cold brews on his regular Saturday morn fishing expedition.
    I thought, damn got to get that ffing backdoor key back!
    So I nursed that lone beer a couple seconds.
    Got my ass up and put on my Levi jeans, my favorite Rolling Stones T-shirt and my new boots.
    Looked around a few minutes , saw how late is was(ten minutes til noon, ouch!) and rushed out the doooooooooooooor!
    Damn,always dearly hated being late and I was at least four hours late for my regular Saturday morn poker game!
    Cranked my motorcycle and spun away to the BEST TAVERN IN TOWN!
    AT LEAST, IT WAS OWNED BY THE BEST BAR OWNER IN TOWN, AND A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE!
    Arriving late, I was in a damn huge rush to enter the tavern but......
    Then Charles, owner at the liquor store yelled at me to come on over. Crap, I thought, he is gonna cost me money by my missing
    at least dozen hands at the poker table.
    Yet he was a good friend, so being a polite young man I walked over to chat. As we were chatting in walked Jeff.
    Charles moved away to restock one of the shelves and Jeff started speaking to me. Began telling me about his new girlfriend and
    how her family(her dad primarily), didn't like him. I knew the girl's father ,so I asked Jeff why the hate. Then I found out that he was dating the younger daughter age 14/15, not the one that was 19 years old!
    Now his being 24 years old, that pissed me off, but was none of my business. I always held that dating girls too young was a huge taboo!
    He explained , her mother had previously gave her permission for the two to date!
    I inquired, did her father give the ok. He replied, no, not that I know of...
    I pointed out, man the father is the one you have to get the ok on, damn don't you know that?
    He shot back with a ffkk him reply.... Her damn dad, sent word for me to never come near her again, never set foot in his yard again!
    Then he proceeded to tell me how he was heading out to drive there to pick her up to go get married!
    I was in shock and asked about what he had said previously, when telling me about her father's warning.
    Again, he shot back with a ffk him reply!
    Now folks, we are talking about an old-time Southern dad! A man, much like my father was! The kind that takes no crap off anybody!
    A man that keeps his word and will especially do so after giving a damn serious, no bullshit, warning!
    I thought it best to give Jeff my warning. I didn't want to see the guy hurt or killed- so I grabbed him by the arm and spoke.
    Jeff, let me warn you about what will happen if you try to forcibly take that man's underage daughter out of that home.
    Trust me on this, he will very likely either knife or shoot you! I know my father would have and both are old-time, no bullshit taking, Southern men!
    Hell, Jeff if it was me and I had a daughter that age, her being underage -I'd probably shoot you too!
    KNOW THIS, ITS IMPORTANT- HE CAN SHOOT YOU AND IT BE JUSTIFIED- BE PERFECTLY LEGAL!
    Well, Jeff being love-struck and hell on wheels eager to marry the young girl, he would have none of it.
    He pulled away from my grasp and said, I am going to marry her even if I have to stomp her father's ass to do so!
    I shot back, yep and his is gonna kill you when you try that!
    Jeff walks to his car and drives away.
    Now Charles hearing all this turned and spoke to me. Saying-
    Robert, you warned him and you spoke to him true. I know that old man. he will shoot his dumb-ass quicker than you can say, "lickety split"...
    I nod, and walk over to the tavern, set down to play cards.
    About an hour later in rushed Randy, telling the tavern owner- how Jeff had just got shot and killed trying to enter a home to force the man's daughter to leave with him.
    Later, I found out the tragic details of what had happened. How Jeff went there and was demanding to be allowed in to speak to her and how the father told him to leave. How Jeff, told the dad, that shotgun doesn't scare me and I am coming in to take her!
    How her dad said, "Open that latched door and I will shoot you dead with this 12 gauge".
    Jeff broke the latch on the screen door to enter and the young girl's father shot him right in the chest at about 10/12 feet distance with that 12 gauge shotgun.
    Blast blew him back and off the front porch. They said he lived a couple minutes and died in that front yard, long before the ambulance arrived!
    And as I had previously warned, the dad was legally justified by law, to do just that.
    Father faced no charges and I NEVER CARED TO KEEP UP WITH ANYTHING ABOUT THE YOUNG GIRL AFTER THAT SAD DAY.
    I later heard , by way of a friend, that the young girl had to seek counseling after that because she was more than willing to leave home and go with Jeff to marry!
    Folks, know this- I would do the same- had I been an old man and some adult man was attempting to remove my underage daughter by force from my home!
    OK, most likely I would have used my fists-to beat the guy to death..
    A man has the right to defend and protect his family!
    Jeff was a Southerner, born and bred-thus he should have known and heeded that well known reality!
    I was sorry he died but it was his own stupidity that got him killed....--Tyr
    Last edited by Tyr-Ziu Saxnot; 01-10-2017 at 01:13 PM.
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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  7. #4
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    Thank you, Robert! It was very interesting.
    Indifferent alike to praise or blame
    Give heed, O Muse, but to the voice Divine
    Fearing not injury, nor seeking fame,
    Nor casting pearls to swine.
    (A.Pushkin)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Balu View Post
    Thank you, Robert! It was very interesting.
    Agree, loved it!!

    Robert... and I'm VERY confident others are similar to me - I often find myself spending a half an hour going through this writing section, sometimes even as a guest in the morning with a cup of coffee. I love your writing, whether it's a poem, or just a good story. Some can tell a good story, some can't. You can!!

    Don't for a moment think that your stuff isn't appreciated!!

    For your knowledge: this is how many VIEWS in total your threads have received since you started writing in this section alone - 101,384

    Hell, I wish shit I wrote, ANYTHING I write would get me those views!!!
    “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?” - Chris Rock

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  11. #6
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    Nice Robert...flashbacks can really be illuminating.
    I have lost my mind. If found, please give it a snack and return it?

    "I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same of others"...John Wayne in "The Shootist"

    A Deplorable!

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  13. #7
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    Now just where the hell did I tie that damn horse up at?
    I bet it got drunk and lost me... --Tyr
    Last edited by Tyr-Ziu Saxnot; 01-10-2017 at 10:56 PM.
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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    Ok. Thread open for business.
    Soon I will share another sad but true story.
    This one will be about my friend Leonard, and his great hunting trip.. or maybe the time
    I WRECKED MY MOTORCYCLE AND MISSED OUT ON MY LATE NIGHT ESCAPADE WITH TWO COLLEGE GIRLS(THAT PICKED ME UP AT THE CLUB ,FOR A CHANGE)!
    ON SECOND THOUGHT- LETS JUST GO WITH THE LEONARD STORY. AS THE OTHER STORY IS TOO PAINFUL TO RELIVE , IN MORE WAYS THAN JUST ONE ..--TYR
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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    @Tyr-Ziu Saxnot ... (.. to all ..) sorry to use this thread for this purpose.

    Messages, Tyr ... I've had a small clearout of my Inbox to free it up for anything incoming. I'm showing that yours is also full. Can you clear out a few messages ?
    Last edited by Drummond; 01-12-2017 at 08:46 AM.
    It's That Bloody Foreigner Again !!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Drummond View Post
    @Tyr-Ziu Saxnot ... (.. to all ..) sorry to use this thread for this purpose.

    Messages, Tyr ... I've had a small clearout of my Inbox to free it up for anything incoming. I'm showing that yours is also full. Can you clear out a few messages ?
    Ok thanks. Just cleared out over a hundred messages. I tried to send both you and NIGHTTRAIN A PM THE OTHER DAY BUT IT SHOWED BOTH MESSAGE BOXES WERE FULL.
    JUST CLEARED MINE..
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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    OK folks, to set this story up right I will have go to great length in describing my friend Leonard, his quirks, his beyond
    eternity love of his shabby ole beat up Harley and his absolute insistence in believing every damn thing he reads in a
    book as if every book is a bible!
    HIS FANATICAL DETERMINATION IN ALWAYS THINKING 100% POSITIVE.
    AND I MUST NOT FORGET TO MENTION, HE THOUGHT THAT BEAT UP OLD HARLEY WITH ITS CRAPPY, WORN OUT PAINT JOB, WAS MADE OUT
    OF PURE GOLD!

    Leonard's Great Hunting Trip (with dripping sarcasm in the title)

    Back in 1983 I was working with a down home, country-boy named Leonard. He was by and large just a gentle soul- and a bit
    slow-if ya know what I mean.. NOW THAT'S NOT ME BEING INSULTING TO THE MAN. It is me being truthful about him and his
    sometimes slow witted, humorous and/or quirky ways!
    He and I talked a lot during lunch break and he knew I was (back then) an avid archery devotee and bow hunter.
    After many months of speaking about such, he developed a keen interest in archery. Thus he went out and popped down big
    bucks( double pun intended) on a new bow, arrows, the entire get-up.

    He came in one Monday morning bragging about how well he was shooting during weekend bow practice and how he was going to
    bow-hunt come deer season! Goooooooood Lord, save the gravy I thought! Doesn't he know its ethical and moral to actually be
    a damn fine archer to bow-hunt deer( so as not to wound and thus give them a long painful death)! I simply must explain
    this to the poor soul- but do so gently..so as not to crush his newfound happiness and emerging love for archery.
    Right then, I stopped him and for the next three days at lunch I drilled that important and ethical message into his poor
    old beat-up Harley loving head!

    Weekends come and go, he practices like the devil. Tells me how well he is doing and how he had just bought a new book on
    positive thinking! Remember this as its important- "The importance of the power of positive thinking"! As that or
    something very near like it was the damn book's title, as near as I can recall. Goes on about his shooting accuracy and
    that damn book for the next three months. Just about drove me mad with his fanatical worship of that damn book, its
    author and the ffing crap the author wrote, to make money, steering fools like Leonard astray!

    Deer Season arrives! I am busy getting my gear ready and practicing-even tho' I was always a very fine shot with gun or
    bow. Something my older brother detested about me and made me suffer for in my youth. Something that I now bring up at
    every family gathering just to piss them all off! I talk with Leonard every work day and give him pointers about hunting
    deer with a bow and how much harder it is than when using rifle or shotgun. He seems to be taking it all in quite well!

    The next week, second week of archery bow hunting season, I take three vacation days and go hunting at my brother's place,
    where deer seem to thrive. GOT LUCKY AND SHOT A NICE ONE THE THIRD DAY-THE FIRST TWO DAYS NEVER GOT A CLEAN SHOT AND I
    WOULDN'T TAKE THE COUPLE IFFY SHOTS I GOT THE FIRST TWO DAYS.
    I then head on home and relax for, MONDAY MORN I GO BACK TO WORK.

    Monday, I arrive at work to find that Leonard still reading that damn book. He asks me how my hunting trip went and I told
    him. He then tells me he has arranged to be off the coming weekend to go hunt deer!
    I reply, thats good but be sure to only take clear and ethical shots!
    His reply was pure gold, pure damn gold I tell ya! it goes like this-
    Robert , you know the positive thinking book I've been reading? I have it all down pat!(me to myself, huh?)
    Hows that Leonard??
    He- Robert, here is how its gonna go- I will arrive at the hunting spot , go in quiet as a mouse(me to myself, huh?)
    get there and silently wait, next the biggest buck in the woods arrives and I shoot it, no problem! (me to myself, huh?)
    You see Robert, in positive thinking I see this all happening and that makes it come true.(me, this sucker is daft!)
    I ask, have you prepared your equipment, sharpened arrow heads and the like?
    He- Arrows? No, I am taking only one arrow.(me to myself huh, are you crazy!)
    He goes on with- yes just one, because if I took more as you've suggested I do, it would be me having no faith in the
    power of positive thinking,( there is that damn book again I thought!)
    And I will not do that he vows.( me to myself, man this crap takes the damn cake)
    (haven't I explained how and why extra arrows are needed?)

    I then explain again about how if you shoot over the deer's back with the longbow with string silencers on, the lesser
    noise made often does not spoke the deer away and you may get another shot with the bow- tis how my older brother killed
    a huge doe the year before.
    I get a reply that was pure gold! Pure gold I tell ya! He says, man you have no faith, let me loan you my positive
    thinking book, ok?
    After I cursed him and that damn book, he simply smiled and said this-
    "Come next Monday morning, I will come in with a picture of that giant buck and you will beg me for that book!
    (me, will be a damn cold day in hell before that happens!!)

    Fast forward to next Monday morn at work.
    I WAS THERE WITH BELLS ON AWAITING THE GREAT BOW-HUNTER, WITH HIS POSITIVE THINKING GIANT BUCK PICTURE!

    In comes Leonard, not looking too happy. I ask right away- can you let me see that picture ole pal.
    (said with a hidden grin)..
    He sits down and pauses, breathes sad sigh and says..
    Man, I've had a very bad weekend, it was the 'worst!
    I ask what happened, did you have a car wreck or something?
    No, he replies but it was even worse!(I sit back smiling and waiting)

    He goes on..
    Robert, you know how you told me to take extra arrows? And I swore I would not do that because it would be
    me having no faith in positive thinking.
    I nod a yes..
    He continues, well I got to my hunting spot, sprayed on my cover scent and quiet as a mouse I crept into a fine hunting
    spot, one my buddy that lives down there had shown me previously. Its dark and about an hour before sunrise, time to let
    things quiet down.
    After good sunrise, maybe 30 /40 minutes I hear a twig snap, got my bow and arrow ready. I do not make a sound nor even
    flinch.
    Then out into that opening in front of me walked this monster buck, a 12 pointer. Man, it was huge!
    I am ready, my mind has seen this before, JUST AS I TOLD YOU IT WOULD HAPPEN!
    I DRAW BACK MY BOW AND AIM RIGHT FOR THE HEART.
    Give a smooth release knowing the arrow will hit its mark and I will have that monster buck on my first deer hunting trip
    and my first time ever hunting with a bow!!

    Damn, ffing arrow flew about 5 inches over that monster buck's back. The buck looked up and around and proceeded to
    eat grass as if nothing had happened!

    In fact, he was so unaware of my presence that he then over the next five minutes moved closer to me , to about eight
    yard away! I just stood there in that ground blind motionless and in shock.
    Finally while looking at that perfect super easy shot, standing so close to me and me with no arrow I BLEW UP!
    I lunged forward, screaming like a mad banshee at the monster buck and tried to charge it to kill it with my bare hands!
    Of course it bolted away, the biggest damn buck I'll ever in my life see!

    How I managed to hold in my laughter this long I can never again manage to do to save my life!
    But damn, the man had tears welling up in his poor eyes.
    Ok, that thought, that moment passed, in like about two tenths of a second.
    I fell out of my chair and onto my knees I laughed so damn hard!
    Several other men in the break room, had heard the sad tale and started laughing too!

    So you must know what I did next, right?
    Sure you do.... and why wouldn't I??

    I STOOD UP AFTER COMPOSING MYSELF, LOOKED LEONARD RIGHT IN THE EYES AND WITH A STRAIGHT FACE MADE A REQUEST.

    Leonard, can you please loan me that great and powerful, positive thinking book?

    His reply, nearly killed us(laughing again it did).

    He says, I can't. When I got back to my truck. I grabbed that mthrffking book off the dash and used my lighter to burn
    it to ashes and I stood there cursing that damn lying author until I ran out of breath..

    And folks, to this very day, I can't think of a single time that I have laughed longer and harder than I did then at
    my friends agony and utter misery (he brought on himself)!

    A month later he recovered enough to ask me if I wanted to buy his archery equipment, he'd sell it cheap.
    I being a kindhearted soul replied thus..

    Leonard, I sure will, if you'll find another copy of that positive thinking book and throw it in at no extra costs!!
    He never spoke a single word to me until our Christmas party that next year, which was 13 months away...
    Finally he got over it and walked over to me to ask where was a good place to squirrel hunt the coming Spring squirrel
    hunting season...
    And yes , I thought of that magnificent book, and was damn sorely tempted but I bit my tongue........

    Robert J. Lindley.1-12-2017

    Note- Folks, the great humor in this story is --

    IF, you have read my newest story on my friend Leonard's Great Hunt....

    PLEASE KNOW THAT IT IS 100% TRUTH AND NOT A WORK OF FICTION.
    A BIG THANKS SHOULD GO TO HIM. AND HE IS AS OF TWO YEARS AGO,
    STILL LIVING AND HAS BY ALL ACCOUNTS THAT OLD HARLEY,
    STORED IN HIS GARAGE SINCE ITS NO LONGER OPERABLE.

    EVERY TIME I SEE AN EMAIL AD OR AN ADVERTISEMENT ON TV ABOUT THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING, I THINK OF MY FRIEND LEONARD AND GET A BELLY-LAUGH.
    My wife say to me , "YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED"!!
    I reply back , "BUT DAMN ITS TOO FUNNY."
    You should have seen his face that morning!-Tyr
    Last edited by Tyr-Ziu Saxnot; 01-12-2017 at 12:51 PM.
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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    Oh man, I liked when he was so positive about his thinking, inspiring even. Thought for sure I knew the ending at that point. LOL
    “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?” - Chris Rock

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyr-Ziu Saxnot View Post

    Leonard's Great Hunting Trip (with dripping sarcasm in the title)

    Robert J. Lindley.1-12-2017
    I do not know why, but I feel sorry for him. He looked cute, but ... 'a bit slow'.
    Sorry, if I insulted you anyhow.
    Indifferent alike to praise or blame
    Give heed, O Muse, but to the voice Divine
    Fearing not injury, nor seeking fame,
    Nor casting pearls to swine.
    (A.Pushkin)

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    Robert, my friend, I hope this doesn't offend you in any way, but I was rooting for the deer the whole time. What you didn't realize, was the animal was using positive thinking, too!


    And I know your prey was far from this young, but I still picture this sweet thing:

    Attached Images Attached Images
    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    Robert, my friend, I hope this doesn't offend you in any way, but I was rooting for the deer the whole time. What you didn't realize, was the animal was using positive thinking, too!


    And I know your prey was far from this young, but I still picture this sweet thing:

    Not offended at all. As a matter of fact, I haven''t hunted deer in well over 15 years.
    And I never hunted for sport. I was taught by my father and my Indian grandfather--- "you eat what you kill or else you do not kill it"!
    And not meaning to offend you, but venison is some mighty fine eating!
    Far, far better tasty meat than beef or pork..
    Its illegal to kill fawns, as only adult doe's and bucks are allowed.

    was the animal was using positive thinking, too!
    haha, as poor ole Leonard sadly found out!!! -Tyr
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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