I know I could just wait it out until the sucker floats, but that just feels mean. I know it's "just a fish", but I still would feel bad and love these suckers!

I looked online and the "humane" options don't seem so great. Don't flush until fully dead it says, as they will suffer. It says you can swiftly cut him in half.

WTF? Another says to place him in a baggy of water and then in the freezer? I dunno, that sounds like he may not like that one.

Add carbon dioxide to the water via alka seltzer? But I would imagine that would be the end of the other 3 as well.

And then the rest are lab related, needles of sorts that they would do at universities or zoos.

He's being drifted around by the current. He's definitely moving, no doubt about that, but barely strong enough to keep himself upright. What would YOU do? I'm thinking the decapitation, but then I'll feel like an ISIS member on my fishy.