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    Quote Originally Posted by pete311 View Post
    I had plenty of books as a kid. Shows life has millions of factors and situations are always different.
    ...but the tenants of good behaviour and self-discipline are not full of millions of factors. Poor behaviour and lack of self-discipine is 98% bad parenting. I will allow for maybe 2 percent being a bona fide medical condition -but like Gluten allergy, i believe most parents claiming their kid has ADHD, etc, are using that popular diagnosis-of-behaviour as an excuse to not make the hard choices required to instill what needs to be instilled.

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    Quote Originally Posted by darin View Post
    ...but the tenants of good behaviour and self-discipline are not full of millions of factors. Poor behaviour and lack of self-discipine is 98% bad parenting. I will allow for maybe 2 percent being a bona fide medical condition -but like Gluten allergy, i believe most parents claiming their kid has ADHD, etc, are using that popular diagnosis-of-behaviour as an excuse to not make the hard choices required to instill what needs to be instilled.
    Yuppers. Saw a mom on line asking for opinions on what age young girls should get acrylic nails. Her daughter is 11. Most replies were that late middle school is the youngest, including nail techs who said it will damage her nails. (FYI, I said, why don't you encourage your daughter to appreciate her natural beauty?). Mom comes back with, "You know how relentless daughters can be", and proceeds to criticize all negative replies that were made, and then turns off further comments. Obviously, this 11 year old will soon be wearing fake nails. To me this is a good example of parenting failure on many levels. Poor kid.
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  5. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by darin View Post
    ...but the tenants of good behaviour and self-discipline are not full of millions of factors. Poor behaviour and lack of self-discipine is 98% bad parenting.
    I am not a parent, but I believe it's not so easy unless you want to sap the kid out of the kid and create some kind of militaristic Chinese environment where the kid ends up committing suicide under the pressure. So what is the line between letting a kid be a kid, aka make mistakes, and calling them undisciplined?

    I'm not talking about honey boo boo parents, they are on the margins.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    Yuppers. Saw a mom on line asking for opinions on what age young girls should get acrylic nails. Her daughter is 11. Most replies were that late middle school is the youngest, including nail techs who said it will damage her nails. (FYI, I said, why don't you encourage your daughter to appreciate her natural beauty?). Mom comes back with, "You know how relentless daughters can be", and proceeds to criticize all negative replies that were made, and then turns off further comments. Obviously, this 11 year old will soon be wearing fake nails. To me this is a good example of parenting failure on many levels. Poor kid.
    I agree. There is too much of a rush to allow kids, especially girls, to be on the cutting edge of fashion and trends in general. Now Ali is only 3, but I was very happy to hear my daughter tell her that she wasn't going to buy her some toy, that her preschool friends have. There are times that I want to roll my eyes when it seems that the darling granddaughter calls too many shots, but did notice this visit that the parents are starting to recognize it and rein her in a bit. Kendall actually said, "Ali, you're the kid, I'm the mom. When you are mom, you will get to tell your kid what to do." Hello! Finally. I think it's only child syndrome, they can't have anymore, but kudos to both parents that are at least beginning to realize they don't want a monster child.
    “The greatness of America lies not in being more enlightened than any other nation, but rather in her ability to repair her faults.” De Tocqueville



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    Quote Originally Posted by Kathianne View Post
    I agree. There is too much of a rush to allow kids, especially girls, to be on the cutting edge of fashion and trends in general. Now Ali is only 3, but I was very happy to hear my daughter tell her that she wasn't going to buy her some toy, that her preschool friends have. There are times that I want to roll my eyes when it seems that the darling granddaughter calls too many shots, but did notice this visit that the parents are starting to recognize it and rein her in a bit. Kendall actually said, "Ali, you're the kid, I'm the mom. When you are mom, you will get to tell your kid what to do." Hello! Finally. I think it's only child syndrome, they can't have anymore, but kudos to both parents that are at least beginning to realize they don't want a monster child.
    Good job, parents.

    I really dislike the mom saying that she is essentially helpless to say no because her daughter is relentless. That is exactly why ​you need to say no!
    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

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  10. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    Good job parents.

    i really dislike the mom's saying that she is essentially helpless to say no because her daughter is relentless. That is exactly why ​you need to say no!
    Kids figure out when they can 'wear someone down.' Parent or peer, doesn't matter. What's sad is that kids don't want to be in control, they actually do know they shouldn't be.
    “The greatness of America lies not in being more enlightened than any other nation, but rather in her ability to repair her faults.” De Tocqueville



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  12. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by pete311 View Post
    I am not a parent, but I believe it's not so easy unless you want to sap the kid out of the kid and create some kind of militaristic Chinese environment where the kid ends up committing suicide under the pressure. So what is the line between letting a kid be a kid, aka make mistakes, and calling them undisciplined?

    I'm not talking about honey boo boo parents, they are on the margins.
    it's easy. It really is easy. in fact, requiring self-control often helps the creative process. You go to such extremes, ya know? In your reply? Growing-kids to respect themselves, NOT lust after themselves (id est, the self-entitled snowflake pussies we see on Watter's World videos); growing kids to be well-behaved is pretty simple in the plan.

    When the kids are young, and they misbehave. Spank them. Couple swats through their diaper to get their attention. When they run out towards the street and you yell "STOP!" and they keep going? Spank them a little harder. The key is the kids learn to obey first, question second. As my kids grew they learnt physics about 'objects in motion'. They started to understand cars DO run kids over. See, the kids misbehaving is NOT about me. Them being assholes is about THEM - growing up an asshole makes one's life harder. My goal as a parent is to help them remove from their lives things that will hinder their growth (unless they become a democrat, then being an asshole is probably key to securing the democratic nomination). Until then it was best the kids simply trust me. Their Dad.

    It's a lot like a God relationship for me. I wonder if God ever gets frustrated about the crap I do - frustrated because I set myself back in terms of my growth. I wonder if God gets frustrated at YOU pete because he's given you ALL the answers in your quest to connect with your creator and you ignore them all. the. time.
    “… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.

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    Until modern day parents learn the harsh reality of Tough Love, and accept that Children and Parents are NOT Best Friends, but rather the Mother & Father of the child, or children who must TEACH, and Present only the Highest Examples of personal responsibility that can only be shown through Personal Example, and demonstrating what the Real Life Consequences of daily life really are.
    I believe it's a safe bet Today, to describe most school age children as those Animals the parents send off every day to the BABYSITTER, called a teacher.
    And, if you consider how technically advanced our children have become today. Holding a device that allows them to COMMUNICATE without any Eye Contact, or Spoken Words....IN PERSON to other children, or adults (teachers), until the BATTERY dies....we will keep generating a Society of DRONES who will never learn beyond the quick little 3 letter acronyms we all use today....like LOL, and OMG.
    The internet, and electronics are both the highlight, and lowlight of a society that will remain uneducated, and irresponsible for their own actions.
    And that's the way this Tired, Old, Seventy year old sees it.
    I love to make Liberals Cry, and Whine.
    So, this is for them.
    GOD BLESS AMERICA - IN GOD WE TRUST !

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    When your signature is three times the scrolling-distance of your posts...might wanna tidy that up.
    “… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.

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    Quote Originally Posted by darin View Post
    When your signature is three times the scrolling-distance of your posts...might wanna tidy that up.

    Or, maybe I like it. Which is why it is so long. Any rules on length of signatures? If so. I will follow.
    I love to make Liberals Cry, and Whine.
    So, this is for them.
    GOD BLESS AMERICA - IN GOD WE TRUST !

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    Quote Originally Posted by aboutime View Post
    Or, maybe I like it. Which is why it is so long. Any rules on length of signatures? If so. I will follow.
    well - yeah - we did awhile ago when people were getting carried away. From my perspective It's not about rules it's about courtesy to others. It's about being a responsible adult on a forum and keeping the "look at me" to a minimum.

    I mean - just deleting your spacing - maybe putting things inline vs stacked - that'd probably clean up things. Might give you more credibility too.
    “… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.

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    Quote Originally Posted by darin View Post
    well - yeah - we did awhile ago when people were getting carried away. From my perspective It's not about rules it's about courtesy to others. It's about being a responsible adult on a forum and keeping the "look at me" to a minimum.

    I mean - just deleting your spacing - maybe putting things inline vs stacked - that'd probably clean up things. Might give you more credibility too.
    It would be nice if the courtesy flowed both ways here. As for credibility. I'm not worried about that. Those who have none, pretend NOT to read my posts; then repeat what I have said. I changed it. Now I'll wait for the next complaint.
    I love to make Liberals Cry, and Whine.
    So, this is for them.
    GOD BLESS AMERICA - IN GOD WE TRUST !

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    Default Anyone Born With a Silver Spoon in His Mouth Will Always Speak With a Forked Tongue

    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post

    I would agree that our current city public schools are not doing well, but for that I blame the inattentive parents who don't instill a value for education or the need to respect any authority.
    It's not the parents' job to encourage study. My parents despised sports, but if I had had any great talent, their hostility wouldn't have kept me from reaching my maximum potential. Does a basketball coach demonstrate a layup, and then tell his team, "Now go home and practice this. I hope your parents care about how well you play and keep after you to put some effort into it"? Coaches are not only the only responsible teachers, they are also the only teachers held responsible.

    Those who would be nobodies without Daddy's Money are behind blaming the parents for everything. To them, that justifies Daddy setting them up halfway to the finish line. But if we have to do it on our own, so must they. They get in our way and must be removed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Sage of Main Street View Post
    It's not the parents' job to encourage study. My parents despised sports, but if I had had any great talent, their hostility wouldn't have kept me from reaching my maximum potential. Does a basketball coach demonstrate a layup, and then tell his team, "Now go home and practice this. I hope your parents care about how well you play and keep after you to put some effort into it"? Coaches are not only the only responsible teachers, they are also the only teachers held responsible.

    Those who would be nobodies without Daddy's Money are behind blaming the parents for everything. To them, that justifies Daddy setting them up halfway to the finish line. But if we have to do it on our own, so must they. They get in our way and must be removed.
    There's a HUGE difference between sports & education. I can understand parents not being on top of the kids latest sports, but it IS a parents responsibility to make sure their kid gets to school and gets an education. And it IS their responsibility to ensure they do their homework and all that is necessary to get good grades. And of course it's their job and responsibility to have their kids study for tests and the like.
    “A person who has never owned a dog has missed a wonderful part of life.”Bob Barker
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  23. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Sage of Main Street View Post
    It's not the parents' job to encourage study. My parents despised sports, but if I had had any great talent, their hostility wouldn't have kept me from reaching my maximum potential. Does a basketball coach demonstrate a layup, and then tell his team, "Now go home and practice this. I hope your parents care about how well you play and keep after you to put some effort into it"? Coaches are not only the only responsible teachers, they are also the only teachers held responsible.

    Those who would be nobodies without Daddy's Money are behind blaming the parents for everything. To them, that justifies Daddy setting them up halfway to the finish line. But if we have to do it on our own, so must they. They get in our way and must be removed.
    Don't know you, so welcome.
    But I am agog at your first sentence. Wonder what you think a parent’s job is?
    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

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