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  1. #1
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    Default You CAN'T Make this Up

    Been laughing since last night. My daughter broke her husband! Literally!

    Douchebag was yelling at the kids about some trivial BS at the dinner table and tried to multi-task. He tried to go off on Annabelle AND eat, sucking a piece of chicken down his windpipe. My daughter jumps into action with "Heimlich" (abdominal thrust method) and breaks the clown's rib in the process. He's downstairs now playing victim .

    I'm like "Maybe you ought to tell the guys at work (construction site) I broke your rib?" OH NO! Couldn't have me hurting him (in his mind anyway). He'd rather tell them he got broken in half by a chick
    GET OFF MY LAWN

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  3. #2
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    Let's see. Do I tell the guys my wife cracked my rib or that a drill instructor did it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gunny View Post
    Been laughing since last night. My daughter broke her husband! Literally!

    Douchebag was yelling at the kids about some trivial BS at the dinner table and tried to multi-task. He tried to go off on Annabelle AND eat, sucking a piece of chicken down his windpipe. My daughter jumps into action with "Heimlich" (abdominal thrust method) and breaks the clown's rib in the process. He's downstairs now playing victim .

    I'm like "Maybe you ought to tell the guys at work (construction site) I broke your rib?" OH NO! Couldn't have me hurting him (in his mind anyway). He'd rather tell them he got broken in half by a chick
    That's funny as hell!!

    Ronda Rousey was through similar with a reporter. I guess he felt that a "woman" wasn't maybe as tough as she seems.

    I come in peace. I didnt bring artillery. But Im pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you f*ck with me, Ill kill you all. ---- Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.
    General James Mattis, United States Marine Corps

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  7. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Black Diamond View Post
    Let's see. Do I tell the guys my wife cracked my rib or that a drill instructor did it.
    Ego. He got pissed when I told the EMT he did it to himself, then ran to my daughter for help. He got it
    GET OFF MY LAWN

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    Quote Originally Posted by jimnyc View Post
    That's funny as hell!!

    Ronda Rousey was through similar with a reporter. I guess he felt that a "woman" wasn't maybe as tough as she seems.

    If Rhonda Rousey kicked my ass I'd just be like, "Yeah, but *I* got to "wrestle" with Rhonda Rousey
    GET OFF MY LAWN

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    Quote Originally Posted by jimnyc View Post
    That's funny as hell!!

    Ronda Rousey was through similar with a reporter. I guess he felt that a "woman" wasn't maybe as tough as she seems.

    Nice video.. Except ,if she tried that maneuver on me I'd spin and knee her in the head,knocking her out.. Watch the video, she couldnt do it fast enough against a real fighter. When she lowered her head and her shoulder to execute the throw her opponent could easily, if quick enough, turn it all onto her. Even if it was only spinning away with a head shot that could knock her out..
    Sure she is tough, but not tough enough to beat a man that can truly fight unless he is weak and slow or dumb enough to take her lightly, IMHO.-Tyr
    My father- "Take pride in who you are and where you came from. Life is hard, often fighting is the only option!"
    Ernest Hemingway- In order to write about life, you must first live it.
    http://www.lindleypoetry.com/category/a-poem-a-day/

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  12. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyr-Ziu Saxnot View Post
    Nice video.. Except ,if she tried that maneuver on me I'd spin and knee her in the head,knocking her out.. Watch the video, she couldnt do it fast enough against a real fighter. When she lowered her head and her shoulder to execute the throw her opponent could easily, if quick enough, turn it all onto her. Even if it was only spinning away with a head shot that could knock her out..
    Sure she is tough, but not tough enough to beat a man that can truly fight unless he is weak and slow or dumb enough to take her lightly, IMHO.-Tyr
    Dude, you ARE getting old . I'd let her win if I COULD beat her.

    That means she gets to be on top, right?
    GET OFF MY LAWN

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gunny View Post
    Dude, you ARE getting old . I'd let her win if I COULD beat her.

    That means she gets to be on top, right?
    Point well made my friend.
    However, if I did that -- I'd get beaten up for real by my daring wife.
    And tho' small she is a beautiful and tough lady that takes no crap from me!!- --Tyr
    My father- "Take pride in who you are and where you came from. Life is hard, often fighting is the only option!"
    Ernest Hemingway- In order to write about life, you must first live it.
    http://www.lindleypoetry.com/category/a-poem-a-day/

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    She's hot.
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    I can't say. She IS physically cute as a representative of the female of the species.

    What I DON'T know is if she's as big a bitch as she makes herself out to be in promos. If she's just playing heel to create controversy to sell tickets, I get it. If she's actually that mean a person an a day to day basis, you can have her. I can honestly say I put ZERO effort into keeping up with her of the UFC/MMA. Any sport that you have to pay extra to watch is not on my list.

    Oh, and update on the broken SIL -- it's the chicken's and or the granddaughter's fault he choked, not the fact he tried to go on a tirade with his mouth full.
    Last edited by Gunny; 11-15-2017 at 03:57 PM.
    GET OFF MY LAWN

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyr-Ziu Saxnot View Post
    Nice video.. Except ,if she tried that maneuver on me I'd spin and knee her in the head,knocking her out.. Watch the video, she couldnt do it fast enough against a real fighter. When she lowered her head and her shoulder to execute the throw her opponent could easily, if quick enough, turn it all onto her. Even if it was only spinning away with a head shot that could knock her out..
    Sure she is tough, but not tough enough to beat a man that can truly fight unless he is weak and slow or dumb enough to take her lightly, IMHO.-Tyr








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  20. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gunny View Post
    She IS physically cute as a representative of the female of the species.
    That's actually what I meant.

    And I agree an ugly personality can turn an otherwise pretty women into a skank. There's lots of examples of that in hollyweird.
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  22. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by High_Plains_Drifter View Post
    That's actually what I meant.

    And I agree an ugly personality can turn an otherwise pretty women into a skank. There's lots of examples of that in hollyweird.
    Like I said, I'm not sure. MMA appears to use the same formula promoting that pro wrestling used to use (not the current clown show WWE). You have a good guy and a bad guy. How much heat they can generate with their fans has a lot to do with sales. Rousey would come off as an arrogant, trash-talking bitch. People paid to see her get her ass kicked. She did. Now they'll pay to see if she can regain the title.

    Guess I could google her up and see if there's anything. MMA is really not my thing.
    GET OFF MY LAWN

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gunny View Post
    Like I said, I'm not sure. MMA appears to use the same formula promoting that pro wrestling used to use (not the current clown show WWE). You have a good guy and a bad guy. How much heat they can generate with their fans has a lot to do with sales. Rousey would come off as an arrogant, trash-talking bitch. People paid to see her get her ass kicked. She did. Now they'll pay to see if she can regain the title.

    Guess I could google her up and see if there's anything. MMA is really not my thing.
    I've never gotten into that cage fighting stuff, men or women. IDK... the older I get, the more I turn into a softy I guess. I'm 6', shrunk an inch already, and 215 lbs, not fat by any means, I could still probably fuck somebody up even at 62 years old, but I don't want to. It's actually the last thing I'd ever want to do. If someone broke into my house, 20 years ago I'd have probably just beat them to a pulp and enjoyed it, but now, they'll just eat lead... way easier...
    Last edited by High_Plains_Drifter; 11-16-2017 at 07:40 PM.
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    Default I'd really get a huge KICK out of taking this one out in MMA or UFC...


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