Sometimes I hate change

[darin]

Today is my final day working in the office i've been in since October of 2015. Monday I report to a new location about 20 minutes from my house. This place is 3 miles from where I live. I'm frustrated a lot. I keep thinking "Well...this is probably the last time in my life I will walk down these stairs..." or "So weird to think I may never see that tree again, ever - 100 years from now that tree will likely be there and I'll be dead and gone."

I dont know what drives that within me, however - it's like every change the loss of what I'm leaving outweighs the excitement of what's next. Even when I'm leaving something less than ideal, I feel the "never again will I" blues.


Anyone else, or am I that weird?

[pete311]

Anyone else, or am I that weird?

It's just called getting older

[darin]

It's just called getting older

Ouch. But I suspect you're on to something. I wonder if its my sense of my mortality that fuels this. Thanks.

[Elessar]

The last time I went out the gate at CG Sector Humboldt Bay when I retired
made me wonder if I had done the right thing.

Lots of memories in that place, and the CG as well.

[pete311]

Ouch. But I suspect you're on to something. I wonder if its my sense of my mortality that fuels this. Thanks.

That is what I was getting at. Not an "ouch", we all will/are going through it too. Getting old is not for wussies! That is why when I meet people in their 80s and 90s+ I am amazed and honored to meet them. It's a mental, physical and emotional challenge to make it that far.

[High_Plains_Drifter]

You can never go back.

I'll stand at the microwave and watch the countdown timer as it heats something up and think, that second that just ticked by is gone forever, even though it's just seconds ago, it's gone forever.

I get the same kinda feelings you do, Darin, but in a different way. If I visit a place I've been in the past that I have many memories of, like an old childhood home, especially, I get a real strange feeling of being a person lost out of time, that all the happiness and the people that used to be there that are gone aren't there anymore, and I don't belong there anymore either, I'm in the wrong space in time and it gives me a very odd almost queasy feeling, and it's intense. Seems as though what you're feeling sounds almost like a precursor to what I described.

[Abbey Marie]

I really don’t think it’s age-related. I have always been that way. It’s IMO a function of looking at the bigger picture rather than just the current details of your life. And also a touch of sentimentality. These are the things that make great novelists and lyricists.

ETA: and poets!

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

You can not go back to the past. You may visit on memory but never go back.
At one point in time if one lives long enough and is a true thinker they understand their best days are gone forever and a short future lies ahead.
I write a lot about my past, about a third of my poems are dealing with those memories, be they good, bad , or imaginative.
Thing is, when I write about them, I reconnect and get a better visual image than if I just think about them.
I was born the mid-50's and I would gladly go back to my mid-teens in the late 60's if that was possible.
Father died in 1969, after that, for the following 18 years were hell, wild crazy, and walking a blind path...
The old saying, ""Old age sucks, then you die",, has some measure of truth in it.
Losing one's youthful energy, great strength and zest for life -old age- takes a toll.....
Yet surviving is built in deep with some of us..
Dying is just a part of living--but I am not in a hurry to get there...-Tyr

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

I really don’t think it’s age-related. I have always been that way. It’s IMO a function of looking at the bigger picture rather than just the current details of your life. And also a touch of sentimentality. These are the things that make great novelists and lyricists.

ETA: and poets!

RIGHT YOU ARE..
Primary thing is the looking at the BIGGER PICTURE. One must always look at and plan for the future.
LIVING IN THE PAST OR THE HERE AND NOW BOTH HAVE TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY NEGATIVES.
Remembering the past is very important-whereas trying to live in it is not.
History is a very great teacher--it is what tells us not to do those mistakes again..
A reason that true history is no longer taught in the American public school system..
History books now are too PC ORIENTED AND THAT IS BY DESIGN, METHINKS.
I HAVE BOUGHT WELL OVER A THOUSAND HISTORY BOOKS PRINTED BEFORE THE 1920'S.
Simply amazing how much historic truth is being denied now. --Tyr

[aboutime]

Learned a long time ago. Shortly after coming home from the Gulf War in 1991.
"You can't go home again!"
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quote...-go-home-again

For You, as our resident DP Poet....


“Child, child, have patience and belief, for life is many days, and each present hour will pass away. Son, son, you have been mad and drunken, furious and wild, filled with hatred and despair, and all the dark confusions of the soul - but so have we. You found the earth too great for your one life, you found your brain and sinew smaller than the hunger and desire that fed on them - but it has been this way with all men. You have stumbled on in darkness, you have been pulled in opposite directions, you have faltered, you have missed the way, but, child, this is the chronicle of the earth. And now, because you have known madness and despair, and because you will grow desperate again before you come to evening, we who have stormed the ramparts of the furious earth and been hurled back, we who have been maddened by the unknowable and bitter mystery of love, we who have hungered after fame and savored all of life, the tumult, pain, and frenzy, and now sit quietly by our windows watching all that henceforth never more shall touch us - we call upon you to take heart, for we can swear to you that these things pass.”
― Thomas Wolfe, You Can't Go Home Again

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

Learned a long time ago. Shortly after coming home from the Gulf War in 1991.
"You can't go home again!"
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quote...-go-home-again

For You, as our resident DP Poet....


“Child, child, have patience and belief, for life is many days, and each present hour will pass away. Son, son, you have been mad and drunken, furious and wild, filled with hatred and despair, and all the dark confusions of the soul - but so have we. You found the earth too great for your one life, you found your brain and sinew smaller than the hunger and desire that fed on them - but it has been this way with all men. You have stumbled on in darkness, you have been pulled in opposite directions, you have faltered, you have missed the way, but, child, this is the chronicle of the earth. And now, because you have known madness and despair, and because you will grow desperate again before you come to evening, we who have stormed the ramparts of the furious earth and been hurled back, we who have been maddened by the unknowable and bitter mystery of love, we who have hungered after fame and savored all of life, the tumult, pain, and frenzy, and now sit quietly by our windows watching all that henceforth never more shall touch us - we call upon you to take heart, for we can swear to you that these things pass.”
― Thomas Wolfe, You Can't Go Home Again

Thanks my friend , a great post..
I read your post and Thomas Wolfe 's words caused this sonnet to be born immediately afterward..
One never knows where, how or when inspiration may arrive..
You and Thomas Wolfe , both inspired this sonnet.
And I will enter it in the next sonnet contest at my poetry site.
Thanks ...-Tyr


Where Dawn's First Rays Meet The Bright Of Morrows

Where dawn's first rays meet the bright of morrows
mother earth and sun's massive power meets.
Days promise oft erase night's great sorrows
as Nature and man wake and rise to greet.

Streams, fields and bright meadows stir to inspire
sons of men, their imaginative ways.
Mere wild brutes before blessed gift of fire
huddling in nights of fear, awaiting day.

Arrogance came as Nature was subdued
with such power came again, dark they fear.
As their fear returned, Nature was renewed
Heavens glowed and shed not a single tear.

As twilight yields to the falling of bright
Man remembers what lurks in dark of night.

Robert J. Lindley, 2-01-2018
Sonnet, ( What lurks in dark of night )

[NightTrain]

I guess I'm different... I embrace the new and look forward to it. Being in the same place doing the same thing wears on me after a while.

I love going to new places and meeting new people and exploring areas that I haven't been to before.

[Balu]

A familiar mood...
First time I suffered it graduating from the secondary school when I physically realized that a part of my Life had passed and would never see again my school mates who were a part of more than a half of my THAT Life. But all the sadness was compensated by Future prospects which which attracted and excited the imagination. The second time - the day prior to my Wedding...
The Life was passing and every next turn left less and less factors to suppress the arising every time feeling of sadness.
I think this is normal. This is Life and it must be accepted as it is. So, Good Luck to you and don't be blue.

[darin]

I guess I'm different... I embrace the new and look forward to it. Being in the same place doing the same thing wears on me after a while.

I love going to new places and meeting new people and exploring areas that I haven't been to before.

that was me 5 years ago. Getting old sucks

[High_Plains_Drifter]

that was me 5 years ago. Getting old sucks

Getting old does suck, in many different ways, most predominant though, in my opinion, is the slow physical deterioration. But watching loved ones pass, losing good friends, seeing the world change and knowing your end is getting nearer and nearer isn't the most pleasant thing. But in a way, I think getting old gets you ready to pass on, because you'll be so sick of being OLD that death will be a welcome relief, and the thought of seeing those who passed before you once again. To discard the flesh and set the soul free.