Today's America
It’s been snowing all night. So the morning goes like this:
8:00 I made a snow-man.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow-woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow-woman.
8:17 The nanny of the neighbors complained about the snow-woman's voluptuous chest.
8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snow-men instead.
8:25 The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim guy across the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf.
8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what’s going on.\
8:42 I am told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things get worse after I mutter: "Yeah, if it's up your a***"
8:45 Local TV news crew shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snow-men and snow-women? I reply, "Snow-balls"; I am labelled a sexist.
8:52 My cellphone is seized and thoroughly checked out while I am being blindfolded and flown to police headquarters in a helicopter.
9:00 I'm on the 11:00 pm news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble during this difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.
9:29 A little known jihadist group claimed it was all their plot.
Moral: There is no moral to this story. It’s just the America we live in today
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