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  1. #1
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    Default Jimnyc vs. Yellow Snow

    Posted this in Staff this morning, and at Jim's direction will post it all for you. This happened in March of this year when he was up at my cabin named L5.

    Quote Originally Posted by jimnyc
    ...

    Made it all worth it, and you can even post it publicly, good times, good times!! I'd GLADLY do it again tonight if it meant I could be back in Alaska with all you guys and back chillin at the cabin, enjoying some Alaskan king crab and FAT steaks!!



    Well, I wasn't going to rat Jim out, but since he already outed himself, I might as well.


    So... Joe, Jim and I were up at L5, and Sharon had decreed that she wanted new counters and shelves in the kitchen. And a new platform for the little 12v refrigerator.

    I was feeling a bit lazy and just wanted to hang out - betting that Sharon would overlook my lack of ambition - but Joe started breaking out power tools and thus, got my lazy ass motivated.

    We had a few nips of Fireball Whiskey but kept things reasonable. Plus, I was kind of hung over from the night before and wasn't really thirsty, if you know what I mean.

    Jim, who really doesn't drink at all, decided that right now was a good time to try his hand at getting absolutely shitfaced on the Fireball. Actually, it was... I certainly don't discourage heavy drinking at L5. But Jim decided he was all in, and we had a lot of Fireball handy on the kitchen table. He rammed a couple of glasses and kept bringing us shots out on the deck, and when we declined, he drank ours too.

    Joe and I were busy on the deck, cutting the lumber with the table saw. We were pretty engrossed in what we were doing, because there were some tricky angles to get right and we wanted Sharon to be pleased. No one wants to risk an arched eyebrow from SharBear and Joe is a perfectionist.

    We lost track of Jim, and we finally did notice that we hadn't seen him for the last 20 minutes or so. He appeared, partially covered in snow and a bit disgruntled... but didn't respond when I gave him the customary "WTF?" query. He just grunted and changed the subject. This alerted me that something happened that he didn't wanna talk about, but being focused on our task, filed it away for later investigation.

    The next morning I got up and whizzed in the spot reserved for such activity, and I noticed that instead of the usual magnificent yellow glacier there was a large depression smack dab in the middle of it, with lots of indications that a mighty & desperate struggle had taken place recently. I instantly knew whodunnit and also when exactly hedunnit. It was funny - also very gross - but you can't just let something like this slide without at least innocently inquiring about it.

    So about an hour later, Jim was lured from his bed by the smell of premium coffee while rubbing his head & commenting on how he shouldn't have been hammering that Fireball.

    I mentioned that someone had fallen off the back deck in a very bad spot last night, and he 'fessed up. He was disgusted, of course, and that made it all the funnier. Apparently he'd fallen into there so deeply that he almost ended up under the deck and it took him 5 minutes of flailing around to finally pull himself back up - we had about 6' or 7' of snow at the time.

    He told me I'd better not rat him out to the board, which immediately got my response that it was definitely going on the board with pics to illustrate his struggles. I was just joking, but I guess I didn't clarify that... so he did the prudent thing and outed himself. That actually makes it funnier.

    Anyhoo, there's the full story.
    Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum

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  3. #2
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    Everyone must know, it was a setup from the beginning!!

    A few nips of fireball whiskey my ass!!

    First off, we would stop at the halfway point back and forth riding the machines into town, and it was a must to take a shot of 'Hot Damn' and enjoy a quick discussion and scenery with buddies. And then of course we did a lot of miles throughout the day, and may have accidentally stopped a time or two.

    And then at night, out comes a BOX of fireball, with 2 different knobs for pouring that death liquid. Well, all I know is Joe poured a nice tumbler full and enjoyed a glass with me. Rick was drinking Clamato with some vodka I think. I say I think as after about 3 glasses of the magical fireball, things may have gotten a little cloudy. And then as the guys started working, and I helped by being a shelf myself, letting them drop the counters on me while they leveled and screwed them in. But then back to the box. And no one kept an eye on me, and yeah, I'm like a child when it comes to doing shots of whiskey, or should I say tumblers full of whiskey!!

    I think the counter was about up and that was where I lost track. Next thing you know the fuckers were laughing at me and telling me to get up, that I was gonna fall asleep and lean into the heater and die. Well hell, I'm already fully dressed and jacket on and all, so I did what what any other man would do at that point, after a night of drinking, I simply went to relieve myself before calling it a night.

    Well Rick and Joe MUST have iced up the deck or something, I dunno. Either that or one of them pushed me. But I was standing there peeing, when the next thing you know I felt that motion of moving. I think I closed my eyes by mistake, and you don't have much balance like that when drunk.

    Well, I was kind of in motion, and as I opened my eyeballs, I was already in 7 feet of snow, and being sucked alive under the deck. I didn't care where I was, just wanted to not go under, and to get back on the deck. Man, that wasn't easy. And when you're sitting in a month's worth of pee pee, it didn't feel right to yell out for help, it felt best to maybe keep this one to myself.

    So I got out, walked around the corner and it was too late I suppose. Now I didn't clean myself off, why would I? I was drunk. So I turned the corner, and there's Joe just standing there, staring at me. And then he said it - "Jim, did you fall into the pee hole?" I'm afraid to ask why it was so obvious. And I simply replied in disgust, and maybe even a few tears - "I'm afraid so, Joe"

    Then I wiped myself off and went to bed. Ain't like there's a nice hot shower out there! LOL

    And then the fuckers were waiting for just the right time in the morning to laugh about it with me, as I'm nursing a coffee and about 9 advils and 4 tylenol.

    I didn't even care.
    I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you f*ck with me, I’ll kill you all. ---- Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.
    General James Mattis, United States Marine Corps

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  5. #3
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    you guys should think about streaming Jim's visit. Like, reality show style
    “… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.

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  7. #4
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  8. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by darin View Post
    you guys should think about streaming Jim's visit. Like, reality show style

    I did ask for videos. But they were IIRC all snow machine action vids. I like your idea.
    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. Psalms 139:13

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