Kneeling for systemic oppression of Men.

[Gunny]

Hey guys .... this is another side to the story for some of us ex wives.

When 1st hubby and I split there was no child support either way and no spousal either way. He made more, employer provided house and auto for him. But I just wanted to move forward and have no more contention. We had joint custody of one child and she could live with either of us.

2nd hubby came into marriage making less than I. Our JOINT funds paid his ex her spousal and child support. Our JOINT funds also paid off their debt because she filed bankruptcy on her portion. Our JOINT funds put him through school. He retired as E9 with 30 years service 2 months after our divorce was final.

Guess what? I still made more money and he wanted spousal (we went to court to settle) while he went back to school for two years. My lawyer reminded him about how my income helped pay off his previous life debts. Lawyer wanted to know if it would be worth it to do an accounting between what I contributed and what he would get. Plus, I retired frim full time work soon thereafter.

Not all women are out to get you.

Of course there are two sides. My response was to Gabby's one-sided comment. I've never made the statement all or just women are bad. Gabby made it sound like it's just guys that are bad.

As far as "not all women are out to get you" ..... I'm pretty sure they aren't. I just haven't met those ones yet

I've never paid nor received any spousal/child support. When Numero uno and I divorced, we were both SSgt's and the oldest at the last second said she wanted to live with me, not her mom and sister. Lot more to it, but that turned out to be a wash money-wise. Except I got her and all her mother's credit card bills

Second wife just packed all her trash and left. That's a no-no in Texas. You just gave up any right to anything by abandoning the home. Couple other ladies were eyeballing my military bennies. Had enough of THAT.

I think each case should be handled individually and not labeled with a blanket statement. I consider deadbeat dads something less than men. At the same time, I consider the court system a farce. Some of the amounts are ridiculous. The man is basically enslaved for whatever remains of 18 years.

[darin]

I don't know if it's a difference in individual State law, or just the times, but I was under the impression the person receiving support DID have to account for expenditures.

Alimony - or spousal support - is treated as INCOME (from a federal tax standpoint); and the person paying it can deduct it.

"Child" support is not INCOME for the recipient. Nor do they have to prove the money was actually spent towards the direct benefit of the kid(s).

TN has caps on child support

https://memphisdivorce.com/caps-on-t...mo-net-income/

But $2100 for one kid per month? In places other than the coasts, that's simply extortion.


@SassyLady - it's not exactly that women are out to get men; it's evidence of a system set up to punish men. Between my ex and me; She had to sign special portions of paperwork to avoid essentially forcing me to pay her what the State thought I should, vs what she actually needs. She's been terrific. Next to me, She is the world's second-best ex.

[NightTrain]

This spousal support thing seems to be out of control. Thankfully, I never had to pay it - but not for lack of trying on her part.

When she was caught being everyone's local party girl while I was out of town working and things blew up, she raced down to Child Support to get that process started. Then she asked the Judge for Spousal Support AND wanted me to pay for any future education she may have wanted to get.

I don't remember the exact final number she asked for, but it was roughly $2600 / month if memory serves me.

The Judge - who was also a woman - saw through her schemes and saw how unjust the whole thing was to me. And she got pissed, especially when she saw the gigs of pictures & text messages I printed off for her to review demonstrating what kind of person the ex was. There's something terrifying and beautiful about a Superior Court Judge leaning forward over the bench giving the Ex a double-finger pointing while red in the face & expressing her displeasure with the Ex's behavior. I was careful not to show any expression as that went down, lest she turn on me in her fury, but she didn't. Even my lawyer was a bit frightened, he told me later. A Superior Court Judge can ruin your life in a hot hurry with the power that they weild.

I ended up with an unprecedented (in Alaska) 100% legal and physical custody of the kids in a contested divorce, and she didn't get the payday she was aiming for in Spousal Support.

It was greatly satisfying to get that little green check from the State every month as they garnished her wages to pay her child support. That was justice, because it hit her where it mattered most in her mind. Her motivation wasn't the kids or anyone else - it was money and the freedom to be a party girl on someone else's dime.

Sadly, the wisdom and sense of fairness that my Judge displayed is missing in many of her compatriots on the bench, especially down in the Lower 48.

[darin]

Bull bleeping bleep.
Some of you guys are starting to sound like tailfins. Oppressed and trodden on by your dictatorial former spouses. The violins get so loud at times that we can hardly hear.
Sorry guys, but when you get married and have kids, you have entered into an financial agreement that you can not back away from. It doesn't matter how long you were married, how long you have been apart, how much you earned then or how much you earn now. You owe your share to your family, because they are still there.
For every responsible former spouse, there are deadbeat dads who try to game the system. This is what prejudices the courts to make settlements.
Keep in mind that the mothers are normally entrusted with the kids. Being a single mom is a lot different than being a freewheeling carousing former dad.
You owe what you owe. It's incentive to try to make your relationship work.
You guys should have paid more attention to your marriage vows. To death do you part. Otherwise, you part with a lot.

First and last warning - please do not attempt to derail threads; This thread's topic is: Men can go to prison for not paying extortion to ex-wives. If you have trouble staying on topic, you will be thread-banned.

- Admin.