What Are You Doing For The 4th?

[High_Plains_Drifter]

Nothing, just can't do it yet. Mom passed on the 4th in 2010, and I saw more than I should have in saying goodbye. I can only pray that she was still there enough to have heard me, I'll never know. Then hearse, then seeing them remove her - it tore me apart like you would never believe. I should have left when they got there, but I got in my truck, on the highway and hit about 100 when I saw that.

Now fireworks just bring me back to that moment in time, thinking about that day, what I shouldn't have seen. No child should have to see that, and no parent should see a child like that. Been in a little spiral at times over this and kinda stopped caring about certain things and not giving a crap about other things that used to scare me.

I hate the 4th for that.

But I LOVE America and I LOVE our freedoms. I'll never stop celebrating that inside of me. I just don't think I can picture myself going to enjoy a show or anything like that anymore.

I did NOT know that... maaaaan... that's a rough story there, really sorry to hear that, but I can relate.

My Dad died on Oct. 26th, 2012, just 3 three weeks after they found stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He'd just been complaining of a little stomach pain, he thought it was gas. By the time they found it, he didn't stand a chance. No more than just a couple weeks later he was doing pretty bad and they had to put him in the hospital. The doctor told us that his insides were just shutting down. My mother, younger sister, nephew and I remained at the hospital at his side for 5 days. My dad would want to stand up at times and once while I was holding his arm to steady him, he looked over at me with this absolutely TERRIFIED expression and said... "I'm dying." I didn't know what to tell him... I still don't know what I could have told him. What DO you say to someone in a situation like that? I have no idea. But it's haunted me ever since. Going on 6 years later and I can remember that moment like it just happened 5 minutes ago. We stayed until he took his last breath.

I think watching a loved one pass is the probably the toughest thing anyone will ever do in their life... @jimnyc

[High_Plains_Drifter]

I'll be here taking in the festivities and catching the fireworks at dusk...

[High_Plains_Drifter]

Well, I'm being urged to put my Camaro in the car show. I guess there's a class for new cars, I could win something. It is unique that it has had the stripes painted on and they're not decals. I'll check it out when I get there... I just might.

Going to take a quick shower and split.

[Gunny]

I'm watching it rain for the first time in over a month. All over everyone's 4th of July cookouts.