This is it, kiddo is off to college!

[jimnyc]

So the kiddo is moving into his dorm room on the 25th of this month. 10 days from now, but my asking started 3 weeks in advance of the 25th.

As you know, I have 2 dogs. The Chihuahua is easier to worry about on days like this, but no way in hell can I leave an 8 month old Husky! I can't leave her alone as it is now for very long, with me always in arms reach. But it's going to take like 3 hours to get there, and of course then 3 hours back. Then we have to unload all his crap into his dorm room, which is on the 4th floor of course. I'm praying for an elevator, but I doubt it.

So it's either bring them with us or get a dog sitter. I don't know a lot of folks, so the sitting is easier than said. I doubt I'll find a hotel that will allow a larger pet, but we wanted to do this in one day if possible, and that's an awful long time to have a poor puppy in the car with you. And then somehow managing that crazy woman while working at the school. There's no choice here, she needs to stay home.

The family that does live within striking distance don't seem to want to help, even if bribed. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have house sat for them when they went on vacations. I stayed for an entire week, at a hotel on my dime, so that I could wathe house sort of, but it was more like 'please take care of our dog and 5 cats daily...'. I won't get into all of it with everyone, but suffice to say I'm a generous person, and especially so when it comes to my family. But it's never the same in return. I try not to have expectations and let other things slide on by. But this one is bugging me as we appear to be stuck, and the kid really really wants us there for his first day at college. And I really WANT to be there, this is a very special day for all of us. He chose Rensselaer when he was like 12 or 13? I'm shocked that he stayed the course and the fact that he got in!

I'll make it happen one way or another, but stuck right now.

----

So the above post I actually wrote a few hours back but saved it and didn't post it. During that time I was able to bribe my niece, Jaelynn, to come to the house on Friday and stay til Sunday morning, so we have all day Saturday free now to drive him off to his new home! And we can take our time with no worries, and even stay at a hotel if we really take a long time and want to have a relaxing trip. Not sure how willing they would have been, but I offered a damn good bribe as I asked her, and it worked! And at least I have someone coming that I fully trust, and she's a huge animal lover!!

...

And now back to concentrating on the whole school thing. I don't know who's worried more, me or the kid. I want him to not be homesick, to still have as much as humanly possible with him, within the schools allowance of course. But this is huge! The kid has really never had any friends, and he's never really been one to 'hang out' anywhere, so not a lot of experience in being away from home. Needless to say, it's time to grow up. I know he's got the intelligence if he applies himself, I'm just worried about him not applying himself, giving it up or being homesick or whatever. But I think if he makes it a month, gives it a chance, maybe make a friend or 2. Hell, he's got 2 roommates, so hopefully he'll make friends with them right off the bat.

[Gunny]

I keep sending the crew off to school every day and they keep sending them back

Get a hobby. A GOOD one. That "empty nest syndrome" thingy is very real.

[jimnyc]

I keep sending the crew off to school every day and they keep sending them back

Get a hobby. A GOOD one. That "empty nest syndrome" thingy is very real.

I know a part of me will feel empty and sad without him - But I'm sure not going to miss the 3 days worth of plates and glasses he manages to use daily, and months worth of clothes in a week. Or me having to feed and play with the crickets and all that jazz - for the lizard he had to have. Lots of things will be a lot easier when he's off!

[Russ]

So the kiddo is moving into his dorm room on the 25th of this month. 10 days from now, but my asking started 3 weeks in advance of the 25th.

As you know, I have 2 dogs. The Chihuahua is easier to worry about on days like this, but no way in hell can I leave an 8 month old Husky! I can't leave her alone as it is now for very long, with me always in arms reach. But it's going to take like 3 hours to get there, and of course then 3 hours back. Then we have to unload all his crap into his dorm room, which is on the 4th floor of course. I'm praying for an elevator, but I doubt it.

So it's either bring them with us or get a dog sitter. I don't know a lot of folks, so the sitting is easier than said. I doubt I'll find a hotel that will allow a larger pet, but we wanted to do this in one day if possible, and that's an awful long time to have a poor puppy in the car with you. And then somehow managing that crazy woman while working at the school. There's no choice here, she needs to stay home.

The family that does live within striking distance don't seem to want to help, even if bribed. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have house sat for them when they went on vacations. I stayed for an entire week, at a hotel on my dime, so that I could wathe house sort of, but it was more like 'please take care of our dog and 5 cats daily...'. I won't get into all of it with everyone, but suffice to say I'm a generous person, and especially so when it comes to my family. But it's never the same in return. I try not to have expectations and let other things slide on by. But this one is bugging me as we appear to be stuck, and the kid really really wants us there for his first day at college. And I really WANT to be there, this is a very special day for all of us. He chose Rensselaer when he was like 12 or 13? I'm shocked that he stayed the course and the fact that he got in!

I'll make it happen one way or another, but stuck right now.

----

So the above post I actually wrote a few hours back but saved it and didn't post it. During that time I was able to bribe my niece, Jaelynn, to come to the house on Friday and stay til Sunday morning, so we have all day Saturday free now to drive him off to his new home! And we can take our time with no worries, and even stay at a hotel if we really take a long time and want to have a relaxing trip. Not sure how willing they would have been, but I offered a damn good bribe as I asked her, and it worked! And at least I have someone coming that I fully trust, and she's a huge animal lover!!

...

And now back to concentrating on the whole school thing. I don't know who's worried more, me or the kid. I want him to not be homesick, to still have as much as humanly possible with him, within the schools allowance of course. But this is huge! The kid has really never had any friends, and he's never really been one to 'hang out' anywhere, so not a lot of experience in being away from home. Needless to say, it's time to grow up. I know he's got the intelligence if he applies himself, I'm just worried about him not applying himself, giving it up or being homesick or whatever. But I think if he makes it a month, gives it a chance, maybe make a friend or 2. Hell, he's got 2 roommates, so hopefully he'll make friends with them right off the bat.

Congrats on the big milestone, Jim. Renssalaer is a great college. I hope your son loves it; I think he will, given that he's been set on it for so long.

[Kathianne]

Jim, congratulations on being a parent of a college bound son! Of course the parents have to be there for the first day! Try to think of something that you and the Mrs. can give to the 'room,' including the other boys. It doesn't have to be 'big,' but something that they know that you got 'them.' Make it a surprise for your son too. It will be something they recognize was given by his parents for 'all of them.' Hopefully one of the other two will feel like it's reason enough to at least attempt spending some time the first couple days trying to be friends. If the other parents aren't there, you might offer to take them out for dinner, just say something about they will become familiar with dorm food soon enough. LOL!

Usually the university has some events planned for the first days, some for the dorms and many just for incoming new students. Encourage the son to go to one or two, on his own. There will also be one or two for parents and new students, definitely go to those. You'll be better prepared for texting/calls in the first few weeks.

If you will spend the night in a hotel, take him out for breakfast then say, "Till the first visit, love you." It is time to let him get used to the place on his own. I wrote letters to each of my kids, giving them to them as I said, 'Goodbye.' Of course they were about how proud I was of them, how they were now 'the masters' of their own way.' I let them know I was only a phone call away, they should have fun, but remember that they were responsible for their own safety. Drunk and safe do not go well together, especially freshman year.

If he already has his schedule, check to see if the required books are listed for each course. If so, check Amazon or other online places to buy texts, the markup at the bookstore is astronomical and he'll only get back pennies on the dollar when selling back. Advise him to keep texts related to his major or any subjects really of interest-he will use them in the future in all likelihood.

Most dorms nowadays either have the 'kitchen' included in dorm suites or at least a fridge/microwave in regular dorm setups. If not, get one! The university will usually have them for lease if not provided. On the other hand, they're not expensive and might be a good gift for the room. One of my boys cooked nearly all his meals in an electric skillet and with microwave, he got tired of salads and is still sort of a health nut. A crockpot or instapot might be a worthwhile investment.

So many good memories of celebrating and worry over the years. You done good! Enjoy!

[jimnyc]

Thanks, Kath!! All fantastic ideas! Always great to get feedback and ideas from someone who's done it. I'm scared, proud, nervous, happy and everything all together in one. I want to be a phone call away, of course which I'll always be, or a quick text, I just hope he sticks it out. I truly believe that even like when starting a new job, allow it time to get over the jitters, to meet folks and make some friends maybe, before making any rash decisions.

The microwave is next on the list! Not sure if that's on her list, but it is now!

We got him a monster foot locker, arrived today. He's going with THREE computers and will have everything any student/kid would ever want or need when getting started! And that's a dang good idea about a gift, and that it perhaps be something the "room" could use instead of just for the kid. I'd rather overdo it and be prepared than have him call me in a panic 3 hours away that he's not prepared and needs this or that.

With his aspergers, and lack of friends over the years... not always true, he made friends at school, but "school friends". I'm not sure how he will respond to having other kids all over his business in the same room. But that's part of the experience!

[Kathianne]

Thanks, Kath!! All fantastic ideas! Always great to get feedback and ideas from someone who's done it. I'm scared, proud, nervous, happy and everything all together in one. I want to be a phone call away, of course which I'll always be, or a quick text, I just hope he sticks it out. I truly believe that even like when starting a new job, allow it time to get over the jitters, to meet folks and make some friends maybe, before making any rash decisions.

The microwave is next on the list! Not sure if that's on her list, but it is now!

We got him a monster foot locker, arrived today. He's going with THREE computers and will have everything any student/kid would ever want or need when getting started! And that's a dang good idea about a gift, and that it perhaps be something the "room" could use instead of just for the kid. I'd rather overdo it and be prepared than have him call me in a panic 3 hours away that he's not prepared and needs this or that.

With his aspergers, and lack of friends over the years... not always true, he made friends at school, but "school friends". I'm not sure how he will respond to having other kids all over his business in the same room. But that's part of the experience!

I don't know what to say about if a kid calls home too soon, wanting to cut bait and run, it didn't happen to me. I do know of one kid who had full ride scholarship to Notre Dame, called mom on the night she went down. Mom went back and got her. Not a good idea in my opinion. 1 semester required, then if they still want to come home, well it's home. Then again, I was always 'mean.' "You want to play soccer? Ok. No, you may not quit until the season ends. I don't care that you kicked the goal in your own net, pay attention." Same with any activity they started, I never forced them to do anything but learn to swim and that was before they could talk. LOL! Finish what you start.

I don't know if that's a good idea regarding college, roommates, Asperger's, etc., I guess my tendency is to stick with what I know worked for us.

[jimnyc]

I don't know what to say about if a kid calls home too soon, wanting to cut bait and run, it didn't happen to me. I do know of one kid who had full ride scholarship to Notre Dame, called mom on the night she went down. Mom went back and got her. Not a good idea in my opinion. 1 semester required, then if they still want to come home, well it's home. Then again, I was always 'mean.' "You want to play soccer? Ok. No, you may not quit until the season ends. I don't care that you kicked the goal in your own net, pay attention." Same with any activity they started, I never forced them to do anything but learn to swim and that was before they could talk. LOL! Finish what you start.

I don't know if that's a good idea regarding college, roommates, Asperger's, etc., I guess my tendency is to stick with what I know worked for us.

Quite frankly, I think Jordan should be in a single room. And they do offer them, and I'm unsure why that route wasn't taken. Perhaps if an issue arises with roomies we can look into the school helping get him into a single room. While I want him to make friends, and I think some dorm room buddies would do the trick and open him up, he's a VERY black and white kid and is liable to get frustrated with them awfully quickly.

[Kathianne]

Quite frankly, I think Jordan should be in a single room. And they do offer them, and I'm unsure why that route wasn't taken. Perhaps if an issue arises with roomies we can look into the school helping get him into a single room. While I want him to make friends, and I think some dorm room buddies would do the trick and open him up, he's a VERY black and white kid and is liable to get frustrated with them awfully quickly.

I kinda wondered that myself. Some schools won't let freshman have singles, though if he was ever on an IEP he'd probably qualify for an exemption.

I think it depends on how good he's gotten regarding picking up ques from others, many with slight Asperger's really do develop more picking up of social ques in high school. If he wants friends, it certainly might be the push he needs. Between the Asp and being an only, he really has always had a ready made way to avoid. I'd leave it up to him.

[Abbey Marie]

Quite frankly, I think Jordan should be in a single room. And they do offer them, and I'm unsure why that route wasn't taken. Perhaps if an issue arises with roomies we can look into the school helping get him into a single room. While I want him to make friends, and I think some dorm room buddies would do the trick and open him up, he's a VERY black and white kid and is liable to get frustrated with them awfully quickly.

I had an awful roommate first semester. Nasty, spiteful girl. I liked a girl across the hall, so I asked her if she wanted to switch roommates. Everyone agreed, and the rest of the year was great. Jordan should not have to stay with someone he loathes. And, btw, I made one of those crying phone calls home my first week. My mom told me to stick it out, and as I’ve said, ended up loving it.