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  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by darin View Post
    Who would suggest doing that? Can you explain how "I love you, we are not solving this tonite. Let's get some sleep despite not solving the problem" is rooted in anything but love and commitment?

    But using the word for the title is less important than the point he was making. He says essentially "Go to be angry" then clearly describes going to be without resolution. To not be afraid to stop arguing if its not helping anything. Comprehension helps a ton.
    So when he says “go to bed angry” he doesn’t mean “go to bed angry”...I can see why his wife goes to bed angry.
    If you also agree that an animals suffering should be avoided rather than encouraged, consider what steps you can take.

  2. #17
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    I virtually never go to bed angry. I can't remember that last time I did, or if I ever did. I always wake up in a good mood too.

    Far as I'm concerned, life is good.

    Time to go vote...
    Last edited by High_Plains_Drifter; 04-02-2019 at 10:31 AM.
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  4. #18
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    I went to bed angry with my wife twice last night. Made sure she knew what was what.

  5. #19
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    Default Thank you darin.

    Quote Originally Posted by darin View Post
    What you just wrote in response to that video is "one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

    So you absolutely missed 100% of the guy's point. In fact I am completely shocked at how backwards you read what the guy is saying.

    The guy says, for folks who are having trouble,

    "Go ahead and go to bed angry, and rest-certain in the fact your marriage is never in question." He's saying "If you are arguing and in conflict until the wee hours...just STOP. Go to bed. Tomorrow you will be married still. Take heart in the fact that some conflicts do not need to be solved. The marriage is stronger."

    It's like i'm in bizarro world right now reading some of these replies. It's like some of you are the BBC reporter vs Jordan Peterson.




    My wife and I have enjoyed many, many years of being insanely idiotic. In fact...that's what has kept us together so long. SMILE. MAGA....
    Opinions are like a$$holes....since, everybody has one. And some even talk from it.

    I WANT MY AMERICA BACK!

    ICANSAYIT!




  6. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noir View Post
    So when he says “go to bed angry” he doesn’t mean “go to bed angry”...I can see why his wife goes to bed angry.

    You are being stupid.

    "My advice, go to bed angry! - But what i mean by that is there are times when you're at an impasse - you both should consider just stopping. Stopping the argument. Go to bed with it unsolved knowing the Marriage is solid. Lean into the marriage commitment because it can sustain you when stressed."

    That message has to be clear to adult readers. and that message is perfect.
    “… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.

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  8. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by darin View Post
    You are being stupid.

    "My advice, go to bed angry! - But what i mean by that is there are times when you're at an impasse - you both should consider just stopping. Stopping the argument. Go to bed with it unsolved knowing the Marriage is solid. Lean into the marriage commitment because it can sustain you when stressed."

    That message has to be clear to adult readers. and that message is perfect.
    Then you may leave me to my stupidity, and can yourself enjoy whatever nights you go to bed angry because of this //perfect message// when I will not.
    If you also agree that an animals suffering should be avoided rather than encouraged, consider what steps you can take.

  9. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noir View Post
    Then you may leave me to my stupidity, and can yourself enjoy whatever nights you go to bed angry because of this //perfect message// when I will not.
    Sure - means you don't like good things. That's fine. Wisdom escapes you. But just know it's a choice.
    “… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.

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  11. #23
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    Course I wouldn't know but, I can imagine that if I spent virtually all my time around someone, the same person, then I don't see how it's even possible that there would never be a fight. I don't see how fighting with that person would ever be a good thing either. I don't think it's good for someone to retain anger, ever. I go to bed in a good mood, I get up in a good mood, I have zero stress in my life, and I see that as a good thing.

    I have a kind of girlfriend. We don't even really consider ourselves a "thing." We've known each other for a long time. I even dated her younger sister. We enjoy getting together when we do with zero commitment. We both roll with that. But there can be little tidbits here and there that can cause a little irritation, but we get past it. I imagine that if she ever was a move in, full time, full commitment relationship person, I'd probably get sick of her being around and we'd have a fight over, "I need my space."

    IDK... I think most people want to be with someone. My son once even told me that he was AFRAID to "be alone." That doesn't even compute in my head. I prefer to be alone. When he didn't have a girlfriend, he'd hunt one down with almost rabid zeal. Personally, I thought it was pathetic. But, most guys want/need to have a girlfriend/wife, girls want the boyfriend/husband. I think it's a security thing, someone to have your back, someone to always be there, to share your life with, blah, blah, blah, but with that there comes the fights. Most married people I've ever known in my life bitch more about their spouse than anything else, and when I hear a married friend say something like, "well I better ask the wife if I can do that," or something to that effect, they can't do anything without "asking the wife," I think to myself... Jesus Christ, what is she, your MOTHER?" You don't even have the leeway or freedom as a grown man to make up your own mind?

    I guess you can tell by this post that yes, I'm a died in the wool loner, a bachelor, and I do like it this way. Maybe it would be nice to have a little tighter relationship with a woman than what I have with Heather, but, that would never include her MOVING IN. I've lived alone for 32 years now. No one is invading my space at this point. This is normal for me. I couldn't handle it.
    Last edited by High_Plains_Drifter; 04-03-2019 at 07:39 AM.
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  12. #24
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    Default High Plains...

    Quote Originally Posted by High_Plains_Drifter View Post
    Course I wouldn't know but, I can imagine that if I spent virtually all my time around someone, the same person, then I don't see how it's even possible that there would never be a fight. I don't see how fighting with that person would ever be a good thing either. I don't think it's good for someone to retain anger, ever. I go to bed in a good mood, I get up in a good mood, I have zero stress in my life, and I see that as a good thing.

    I have a kind of girlfriend. We don't even really consider ourselves a "thing." We've known each other for a long time. I even dated her younger sister. We enjoy getting together when we do with zero commitment. We both roll with that. But there can be little tidbits here and there that can cause a little irritation, but we get past it. I imagine that if she ever was a move in, full time, full commitment relationship person, I'd probably get sick of her being around and we'd have a fight over, "I need my space."

    IDK... I think most people want to be with someone. My son once even told me that he was AFRAID to "be alone." That doesn't even compute in my head. I prefer to be alone. When he didn't have a girlfriend, he'd hunt one down with almost rabid zeal. Personally, I thought it was pathetic. But, most guys want/need to have a girlfriend/wife, girls want the boyfriend/husband. I think it's a security thing, someone to have your back, someone to always be there, to share your life with, blah, blah, blah, but with that there comes the fights. Most married people I've ever known in my life bitch more about their spouse than anything else, and when I hear a married friend say something like, "well I better ask the wife if I can do that," or something to that effect, they can't do anything without "asking the wife," I think to myself... Jesus Christ, what is she, your MOTHER?" You don't even have the leeway or freedom as a grown man to make up your own mind?

    I guess you can tell by this post that yes, I'm a died in the wool loner, a bachelor, and I do like it this way. Maybe it would be nice to have a little tighter relationship with a woman than what I have with Heather, but, that would never include her MOVING IN. I've lived alone for 32 years now. No one is invading my space at this point. This is normal for me. I couldn't handle it.
    TAKE NOTE. If you read any of my post about this subject. I NEVER SAID anything about Not Having an Argument, or Disagreement during our 50 years. But, we did make a private OATH to each other...NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY.
    Any couple, married, or living together...and I do mean ANY. Will be lying to you if they say.."WE ALWAYS GET ALONG, and NEVER ARGUE".
    That's simple NOT, and NEVER WILL BE, Human Nature.
    examples...tooth paste, putting the seat up, or down, toilet paper on the wrong way, spending too much money, charging stuff on credit when you have the cash....simple things like that.
    And, we also learned...Respect each other by DEALING WITH THE PROBLEMS.....Right away. Don't store them up into a long list....then....One Nite....let loose with all of the complaints...MONEY, SECRETS, and LYING....ARE the THREE biggest causes of marriages breaking up.

    STAY SINGLE....or, if you get married. THE PARTNERSHIP SHOULD BE AS AGREED WHEN TAKING THE VOWELS.

    Just my opinion of course. Who am I to tell anyone what to do????
    Last edited by icansayit; 04-03-2019 at 03:03 PM.

    I WANT MY AMERICA BACK!

    ICANSAYIT!




  13. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by icansayit View Post
    TAKE NOTE. If you read any of my post about this subject. I NEVER SAID anything about Not Having an Argument, or Disagreement during our 50 years. But, we did make a private OATH to each other...NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY.
    Any couple, married, or living together...and I do mean ANY. Will be lying to you if they say.."WE ALWAYS GET ALONG, and NEVER ARGUE".
    That's simple NOT, and NEVER WILL BE, Human Nature.
    examples...tooth paste, putting the seat up, or down, toilet paper on the wrong way, spending too much money, charging stuff on credit when you have the cash....simple things like that.
    And, we also learned...Respect each other by DEALING WITH THE PROBLEMS.....Right away. Don't store them up into a long list....then....One Nite....let loose with all of the complaints...MONEY, SECRETS, and LYING....ARE the THREE biggest causes of marriages breaking up.

    STAY SINGLE....or, if you get married. THE PARTNERSHIP SHOULD BE AS AGREED WHEN TAKING THE VOWELS.

    Just my opinion of course. Who am I to tell anyone what to do????

    You're really struggling with the basic concept of this thread. You're virtue signaling more than anything
    “… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.

  14. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by icansayit View Post
    TAKE NOTE. If you read any of my post about this subject. I NEVER SAID anything about Not Having an Argument, or Disagreement during our 50 years. But, we did make a private OATH to each other...NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY.
    Any couple, married, or living together...and I do mean ANY. Will be lying to you if they say.."WE ALWAYS GET ALONG, and NEVER ARGUE".
    That's simple NOT, and NEVER WILL BE, Human Nature.
    examples...tooth paste, putting the seat up, or down, toilet paper on the wrong way, spending too much money, charging stuff on credit when you have the cash....simple things like that.
    And, we also learned...Respect each other by DEALING WITH THE PROBLEMS.....Right away. Don't store them up into a long list....then....One Nite....let loose with all of the complaints...MONEY, SECRETS, and LYING....ARE the THREE biggest causes of marriages breaking up.

    STAY SINGLE....or, if you get married. THE PARTNERSHIP SHOULD BE AS AGREED WHEN TAKING THE VOWELS.

    Just my opinion of course. Who am I to tell anyone what to do????
    I was responding in general, pard. I wasn't replying to just you. Sorry if you took it that way but I wasn't.

    I was just talking about my own personal feelings on the subject.

    @icansayit
    Last edited by High_Plains_Drifter; 04-03-2019 at 08:38 PM.
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