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Thread: Haha2

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  4. #63
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    Most brutal snap-chat replies!



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    ``L.A. Times: Adam Schiff’s Gay Lover Makes `Claims` Of Abuse``

    Los Angeles, CA- Los Angeles Times reporter and assistant managing editor, Kristina Bellatori dropped another bombshell in what can only be described as the ongoing US Congressional and political sex and domestic violence scandal this afternoon.

    “The Rob Porter domestic violence fiasco seems to have turned more than just the White House upside down,” Bellatori told The Net Spies via Skype. “Not only has everything been turned upside down, but it seems that abuse victims are literally falling from the sky.”


    Bellatori was contacted by Will Bottom, who claims to be the gay lover of California Congressman, Adam Schiff. “Will contacted me and told me that he had been a victim for too long and wanted to speak out,” Bellatori told us.

    “Mr. Bottom stated that he has been Mr. Schiff’s gay lover for many years and has endured a plethora of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.”


    Bellatori went on to quote Mr. Bottom. “I call Adam, Shih-Tzu, cuz it sounds like his name and he looks like one. Anyway, Shih-Tzu always tells me that my stuff is too small and I don’t pound him hard or deep enough. That hurts my feelings, man.

    Then he beats me up with his little fists if I don’t get him off just right. I have put up with a lot of crap from him, but I love him, man. He has even pimped me out to his friends on many occasions. I never really minded him pimping me out too much until he made me hook up with Bernie Sanders. That dude smell like moth balls or something.”


    Mr. Bottom provided Bellatori with several pictures, most taken by Schiff, that showed the horrific extent of Schiff’s cruelty and perversion. “Anyone who treated an animal in such a manner would find themselves with a lengthy jail sentence,” related Bellatori.

    “This is a human being. It seems like high time to start holding these politicians accountable for their sick, vulgar, and reprehensible behaviors.”





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    The pose you take after you throw a bucket of water on a bunch of witches!




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    I bet after his huge Thanksgiving dinner - Eric Swalwell is farting like a jack rabbit eating sea oats.



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    Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine there to transport him to his home. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver.
    "You know" he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?"
    The driver said, "No problem. Have at it."
    Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first radar operation.
    The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone.
    The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo then got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure. The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled own, he was surprised to see who was driving.
    He immediately excused himself and went back to his patrol car and called his supervisor. "I know we are supposed to enforce the law..... but I also know that important people are given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person."
    The supervisor asked, "Is it the Governor?"
    The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."
    The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the President?"
    The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."
    After a moment the supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?"
    The young trooper said, "I think it's Jesus, because he's got Billy Graham for a chauffeur !!!"
    Every day I beat my previous record of consecutive days I've stayed alive.




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    Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.

    When the waiter brought our water and cutlery, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

    When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" "Well, "he explained, "the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped piece of cutlery. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our staff are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the
    kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."


    As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed.


    I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s zip on his trousers. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"


    "Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the rest-room. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the rest-room by 76.39 per cent."


    I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"


    "Well," he whispered, "I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon."


    Every day I beat my previous record of consecutive days I've stayed alive.




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    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

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    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

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    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

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    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

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