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    Default A collaboration of sorts, my new poem inspired by Jim's poem at my home poetry site.

    Below is the poem I posted at my home poetry site. It includes Jim's free verse poem and then my poem inspired by reading that free verse poem and my own sad loss. Also shown are the comments made by top poets at my home poetry site.
    And Jim's heartfelt poem rated very high, especially so for a new poet, as these comments reveal.
    Thanks Jim for giving me permission to post here , my new poem along with yours and the comments made so far......
    I see that all poets replied that your poem showed talent and a promising path in poetry if you so choose to continue writing.
    In fact, your poem has received great accolades for a first poem and got very impressive comments too. -Tyr

    James R.
    Free verse, 7-21-2019
    Title- My Lost Friend

    Robert J. Lindley
    Free verse, 7-25- 2019
    Title- The Gems That Are Precious Memories
    ( What Living Has Taught )


    My Lost Friend

    Where have you been, where have you gone
    it is been a long time, as if it were yesterday
    time goes by but it is still today
    that feeling, that bond, it doesn't just go away
    time stays still and it is still today

    why did you have to go away?
    just when we were growing up
    finally learning what life and friends were all about
    hitting the streets and showing out, what we were all about
    that's when things ended, never saw you again
    people thought we were no longer friends
    not understanding what it means to go away

    cannot function without, also cannot dictate what this is all about
    for you see, my friend, when you went away
    most underestimated what that meant
    not just a loss, but a major life event
    one that is endless torment

    I know where you went, my best friend
    but the heart is always meant to mend
    but it won't, so this must be the end

    I cannot say goodbye, can't let you go
    heart won't let me, and who am I
    to be one, to even try
    for I want to cry, desire to cry
    want to be sad, that is my right
    want to be with you, think of you every night

    I hate to say the words
    dealing with death is too hard
    it has truly left me scarred

    Pop Pop, Grandma, Mom, and even you
    its an endless feeling of being blue
    being without you

    its tough to deal
    impossible to heal
    emotions still raw
    no one truly knows how I feel

    That's ok though, as my friend you'll see
    Someday, there's a place for me
    for all of us, be together again
    and that will be the end of the pain

    James R.
    Free verse, 7-21-2019

    *************************************************

    The Gems That Are Precious Memories

    I lost that which life could never replace
    God knows I tried and always failed
    no amount of effort could victory gain
    no treasure could your loss, this heart heal


    All those years, my how fast away they flew
    all those experiences and still missing you
    yes you had that very special place,
    that all encompassing glow,
    your smile could all my worries thus ease

    Now that time and age has weathered me so
    my heart finds its beats return to you
    to those years you cared for me and gave all
    never worrying about how much it would cost.
    always in my corner cheering me on

    As I see that last sunset and its fading rays
    your radiant face comes and words then flow
    begging me to stay steady,
    to my course keep on track
    and in my destiny know my life has meaning
    your words sent to help and to heal
    your love and tender heart saving balm
    that tells me, a mother's love is infinitely real

    Robert J. Lindley
    Free verse, 7-25- 2019
    ( What Living Has Taught )

    Note: See above...

    Copyright © Robert Lindley | Year Posted 2019


    Post Comments made thus far...


    Kurt Ravidas
    Date: 7/26/2019 10:37:00 AM
    My congrats to James on his first published poem. My respect to Robert as a patron and a friend) P.S.: Poetry is not a question to right or not to right. As I said before, a person has no choice. If you're writing a poem, it only means that it's time for the poem to come into the world. Its birth does not depend on the reader's approval or disapproval. Every poem will find a place on the bookshelf of God.

    Reply
    Cunningham Avatar
    Tom Cunningham
    Date: 7/26/2019 8:36:00 AM
    Losing someone is devastating but those feelings have been captured well in your verse, I am surprised that it is your first attempt at poetry and would urge you to continue, join us here on soup and if you need advice there are many on here to help you, that said there is no finer poet to seek advice from than Robert.

    Reply
    Cunningham Avatar
    Tom Cunningham
    Date: 7/26/2019 8:38:00 AM
    A lovely verse Robert in dedication to a mothers love, what they give us is priceless. Tom.


    Buhagiar Avatar
    Victor Buhagiar
    Date: 7/26/2019 3:06:00 AM
    Your personal poem is great, but that's to be expected. Your friend's poem is well written considering it's his first attempt. Lost love is always a favourite subject. He should read many poems and study their build up. He will make a great poem.

    Reply
    Nicole Avatar
    Brandy Nicole
    Date: 7/25/2019 9:34:00 PM
    James, you have created such an emotional poem. These words from the heart. I can feel every moment, every emotion. The ache within, the pain. Losing a friend and never seeing them again, it is like death. In a sense. You have talent. Keep your ink flowing my friend. Thank you for sharing. My best to you. Robert, you are an inspiration. ~ Brandy

    Reply
    Barden Avatar
    Gregory R Barden
    Date: 7/25/2019 7:48:00 PM
    Robert - a wonderful write, My Brother, and a great inspired piece from your friend ... there is but ONE force in this Universe that transcends time, gravity, dimensions, anything that comes against it - LOVE - and you have both touched on this quite effectively and memorably, and I'm adding these two to my favorites. Great stuff, and thanks for sharing! Keep up the great work - I hope James considers joining - he'll have a great mentor in you, and the encouragement of the rest of us. Blessings!

    Reply
    Barden Avatar
    Gregory R Barden
    Date: 7/25/2019 7:44:00 PM
    James R. - This is a nice piece, raw but very honest, and that always comes across powerfully ... you're also writing for the best reason, (IMHO), catharsis, healing, or at least putting difficult emotions into words. I've only been writing a couple of years, but that's why I started, and I have found SO much healing with poetry, so much catharsis and strength and victory over the darkness, (which tries to swallow me often) ... keep writing, and consider The Soup - it's great place for learning!

    Reply
    Michael Avatar
    Arturo Michael
    Date: 7/25/2019 7:35:00 PM

    Only one love like a mother's love...Lovely expressions permeate this write...and your fellow poet is on his way...may he write forever more...
    Reply
    Wanter Avatar
    Sunlite Wanter
    Date: 7/25/2019 6:26:00 PM
    I think your friend should continue writing - I believe he has an innate talent of expression.

    Reply
    Hobo Avatar
    Word Hobo
    Date: 7/25/2019 5:53:00 PM
    Congratulations James on writing your first poem. It reads as though it were a deeply personal piece. Tightening up your verses would make your thoughts even more effective. Well Done! You are fortunate to have such a gifted poet like Robert to guide your poetic journey.

    Reply
    De Beaulieu Avatar
    Darlene De Beaulieu
    Date: 7/25/2019 5:33:00 PM
    Hello Robert, this poem has meaning. I lkie the last verse the best. Have a nice evening my friend.
    Reply

    De Beaulieu Avatar
    Darlene De Beaulieu
    Date: 7/25/2019 5:28:00 PM
    Hello Robert and James R. James for your very first poem you did very well. Friends comes and goes. If your friend had to move elsewhere, he could keep in touch with you. I say Keep on writing. you did very well with this poem. i would like to read another of your poetry. So create another poem. Have a nice evening my friend.

    Reply
    Warrior Avatar
    Winged Warrior
    Date: 7/25/2019 5:24:00 PM
    Great first attempt my friend James R...you have great potential...a bit rough on the edges, but hey even my first attempt was very rough...the pencil needs to be sharpened a bit lol...but you know you have a fine mentor, maybe one of the best in the poetic field...that said...a very emotive and heartfelt verse...and a gem from my poetic brother R.L. might think of becoming a member...there are some loonies here lol...but more beautiful people as well...sending words of encouragement...^WW^ )
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  3. #2
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    Default

    I do appreciate your comments, and especially those of folks I don't know in the slightest. Not everyone is biased but not everyone will tell advice without somehow brightening up the message. And of course they do so to a point as well I would imagine, don't insult anyone to begin with, and certainly not a first time poem entry to the site. With that said, with the endless amount of poems there, no one had any reason to take 5 seconds to make a comments at all, let alone positive comments. So it's really nice to see that kind of feedback as I saw over there. And more than even posting, I read a truly lot of great poems today just going over the site! So I appreciate the comments, the assistance, the recommendation & the help over there!
    “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?” - Chris Rock

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