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Thread: Hey men

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kathianne View Post
    I'm for men acting like men, not acting like hormone raging adolescents and most are like the former. No one thinks that breaking into fights or getting in people's faces for the slightest perceived disrespect is ok. I've never been attracted to the type of man that tells me what I should like or what I should do. (Yeah, I know. I. hide. that. well.)

    However, there are many things that make men and women different, I enjoy those differences. At 5'1" many things are out of my reach. LOL! With few exceptions, even 'short' men are 5'5" and that helps! Upper body strength is something most women lack compared to most men. Surprising how often that difference comes into play during times of danger. Think of major flooding and the men that are able to carry women and children and exhausted men through raging waters. Those that are able to pull someone into a boat or even push them into a boat when they, themselves are in the water. Yes, women would do so too, if they are able. Most are not.

    What pisses me off about the whole 'toxic masculinity' or 'getting in touch with the feminine side' is that it's telling men, even more importantly boys, that they are naturally bad. They are not. Yes, we've left the hunting and gathering stage, most of the time; yet, it is wrong to tell men or boys to 'sit still' like women/girls, every bit as much as it has been wrong to tell women that they are anti-feminist if they choose to stay home or care more for their family than career.

    Some examples of why 'masculinity' is not something to denigrate:

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/good-...AEQGV3?ocid=sf

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...IVE-MILES.html

    https://www.wbir.com/article/news/he...b-db4c79828829

    https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/08/us/un...rnd/index.html

    Just from the last couple of weeks.
    My wife and I met because I stepped in when her at the time boyfriend was beating on her in public. If I hadn't been "masculine" well A) who knows what that guy would have done to her and B) I wouldn't have met the most perfect woman in existence

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kathianne View Post
    I'm for men acting like men, not acting like hormone raging adolescents and most are like the former. No one thinks that breaking into fights or getting in people's faces for the slightest perceived disrespect is ok. I've never been attracted to the type of man that tells me what I should like or what I should do. (Yeah, I know. I. hide. that. well.)
    -------------------

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  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by High_Plains_Drifter View Post
    -------------------
    I know. I do enjoy that.


    "The government is a child that has found their parents credit card, and spends knowing that they never have to reconcile the bill with their own money"-Shannon Churchill


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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kathianne View Post
    I know. I do enjoy that.
    You made a good funny... tickled my funny bone...

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    Anything new to add, or anyone else want to chime in?
    @NightTrain ?
    @Evmetro ?
    @jimnyc ?
    @Black Diamond ?
    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

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    Quote Originally Posted by STTAB View Post
    I just don't react to pain externally. Karate men bleed on the inside .

    Bonus points if anyone gets that movie reference.
    Trading places

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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    In light of the “Bam” thread, who or what teaches you to act stoically when you hurt? Both physically and emotionally.
    Or is the answer just that you see your Dad acting that way, and emulate him? Does your son do the same?
    Or maybe it is just innate?
    Why do you feel it is necessary?
    Damn, thread is a year old and I'm just seeing it now!

    To me, the answer is a time and a place, and that it all depends.

    I'll fight anyone if I have to, and turn psycho before I lose. I'm a daredevil and do many things that may put me in danger, and I love it! If it hurts me, so be it. I'll face a lot of fearful things in the face, and then take any consequences.

    But then again, I shut my car door on my finger once, and holy hell it nearly made my cry like a bitch! Same when I broke my wrist. Migraines put me down more than anything, easily in tears and head throbbing and me punching my fist through a wall. I'll throw up, lay in tears and fall asleep like that and wake up fine. I honestly don't always do well with pain, but if my adrenaline is running, in a fight, nothing hurts.

    Now emotional pain? Simply wasn't born to deal with it. Deaths simply destroy me inside. I readily admit that. Some emotional things that happen will draw the depression and/or tears out of me, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. - Used to cry year after year after year when Frosty the Snowman melted in the greenhouse, or when they couldn't find poor Rudolph.

    Or when Rick @NightTrain introduced me to Alaskan bees and one of them fuc*$%s bit my forehead, and the little bitch came out again, I danced a jig and ran all the way to the cabin!! LOL

    So I'm not good dealing with pain - but if the situation is angering to me, and my emotions pour out, it will often turn to anger and the pain goes away and Dr. Jekkyl comes out for a fight.
    “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?” - Chris Rock

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  12. #38
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    I didn't pay attention as well as I should have first time around. IMO, there is no answer. Genetics? Minus the left and MSM stating otherwise, men are men. The rest is making excuses for those who are not.

    Environment. We were raised to be men. Most of us are old enough to remember when that was the case and not "toxic masculinity".

    Abbey asked why do we feel we need to ACT that way? That I know if, it's not an act. I don't think about my reaction to pain. There's no script.

    Basics: Fight or flight. Is a woman going to choose as her mate the pansy that runs off/hides, or the guy who says you aren't taking my stuff. Which, women were smart enough to realize if they hid behind the guy's stuff, they'd be protected. They are going to choose the mate that can give them strong children and provide for and protect them. That's just nature. It isn't about men being stronger than women either. It's about knowing your role. Life's prime directive is procreation of the species, and survival of the species.

    How the evolution from the basic to current behavior came about has however many years Man has walked the Earth as an answer. The strong stay alive and the weak die.

    Our current political environment is in denial of the prime directive because wherever the strong flourish, the rats scurry right along behind and steal everything (a country) while the strong are too busying protecting it and them to notice. Until you have a place where children get to choose their gender That isn't natural and they are going to die just about the time they get rid of the strong protecting them. They're just not smart enough to figure that out.

    One thing I know for sure is if you lead by example and show weakness, those being led will do the same. In the World I grew up in and made my profession in, you could likely get away with crapping your pants before you would one little whimper. Weakness was not allowed to be shown by our war vet fathers, and we as kids didn't allow it in ourselves. It isn't "trying to be like our fathers". That sounds cheap. We are our fathers' sons and products of his environment as the male in the family to look to for guidance. That could mean emulating him OR trying your best to not be like him and everything in between.

    I don't see anything toxic about it taken for what it is. It's logical. I can sit here and cry about my boo boo or I can wrap the SOB up and get on with it. What do we as humans do when we fall down? Most get back up and move on.

    I consider injury a nuisance more than painful. Injuries get between me and where I'm going and THAT just won't do
    “When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.” Edumnd Burke

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  14. #39
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    Just my observation from being married to 2 warriors ...

    Most men are mission focused ... whether it is getting something out of attic (Russ), taking out trash, building a treehouse, saving someone or something. Mission first .... then deal with pain. Also, most men feel one of their missions is to protect ... it's in their DNA and that means protecting the psyche of those they love and care about. Our worrying about their pain throws them off mission.

    Just my thoughts on subject.
    If the freedom of speech is taken away
    then dumb and silent we may be led,
    like sheep to the slaughter.


    George Washington (1732-1799) First President of the USA.

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    I have an unusual emotional characteristic that blocks me from showing emotion. I have never raised my voice other than to report my number in my boot camp company, and I rarely am seeing laughing. Although I feel the full range of emotions, I can't get them to show up on my face or in my voice. Typical stoicism was still socialized in as well, but it is moot.

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  18. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    In light of the “Bam” thread, who or what teaches you to act stoically when you hurt? Both physically and emotionally.
    You know, I don't know. I think as males we're taught at a very young age to 'walk it off', where it's okay to cry if you're a girl to an extent. It's not seemly for a man to whine and complain and most men look down on those that do... for that matter, I don't like being around anyone like that - male or female.

    Or is the answer just that you see your Dad acting that way, and emulate him? Does your son do the same?
    Or maybe it is just innate?
    Yeah, my Dad definitely was tough and taught us boys to be tough... you didn't get much sympathy unless it was legit like a broken leg or a finger halfway cut off.

    Yes, my son does the same. Looking back, I do remember telling him not to be a drama queen when he was hurt and it was clear to me that he was overreacting... I did push him into behaving with more stoicism like most fathers.

    Why do you feel it is necessary?
    I think Gunny has the correct answer. Toughness begets toughness, courage begets courage. Those are necessary qualities in a man.
    Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum

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  20. #42
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    Default Imo...

    Speaking for my own era and age. One of the first things we learned as boys, then young men from our Fathers, Teachers, and Ministers was that we always pay the Most Respect to All Women, Girls, Ladies, and girlfriends in school, or down the block.

    Then we learned...it was Our Primary job in life to Protect all of the Women, Girls, Ladies, Girlfriends, Mothers, Sisters, Aunts and anyone else...NO MATTER what they were.

    Personally. I still feel that way and continue to practice those lessons, as I always try to do here on DP to all of the Ladies.

    On the other hand. I draw a line and lose my Machoness (whatever I have left) when I hear any member of the FEMALE gender using GARBAGE, TRASH, STREET, UNLADY LIKE language because I instantly LOSE any respect for anyone willing to demonstrate how LOW their mentality, and self-respect really is.
    How's that?
    I may be older than most. I may say things not everybody will like.
    But despite all of that. I will never lower myself to the level of Liars, Haters, Cheats, and Hypocrites.
    Philippians 4:13 I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me:

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  22. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by icansayit View Post
    Speaking for my own era and age. One of the first things we learned as boys, then young men from our Fathers, Teachers, and Ministers was that we always pay the Most Respect to All Women, Girls, Ladies, and girlfriends in school, or down the block.

    Then we learned...it was Our Primary job in life to Protect all of the Women, Girls, Ladies, Girlfriends, Mothers, Sisters, Aunts and anyone else...NO MATTER what they were.

    Personally. I still feel that way and continue to practice those lessons, as I always try to do here on DP to all of the Ladies.

    On the other hand. I draw a line and lose my Machoness (whatever I have left) when I hear any member of the FEMALE gender using GARBAGE, TRASH, STREET, UNLADY LIKE language because I instantly LOSE any respect for anyone willing to demonstrate how LOW their mentality, and self-respect really is.
    How's that?
    I agree. Was taught the same.
    “When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.” Edumnd Burke

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