I got a few questions for you cooks. Do you guys regret cooking burgers and steaks from frozen? Do you realize now what you did to that meat? Do you realize now what you did to those troops? To their stomachs? Their morale? Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat saying to yourself, "I'm sorry, I know now that it was wrong."

And what about all the bacon grease on everything? Do you know how many veterans now have severe cardiac disease because of your complete lack of nutritional expertise? Do you still have a total disregard for the health and well being of the people in your lives? And who came up with that anyway? Was breakfast over and some private was too lazy to clean the grill, so he said to the mess sergeant, "Hey, sarge, I got a great idea. Instead of me cleaning the grill, I'll simply put the bacon grease on the green beans at lunch, so now we can go drink that bottle of bourbon my dad sent me for my birthday."

You guys got a lot of explaining to do.