Itch strikes marriages around five-year mark

[Cheyenne]

By SHELLEY EMLING
Cox News Service
October 31, 2007
LONDON ‹ Been married for five years? Then watch out. A new study has found that married couples are at their greatest risk of divorcing just before their fifth anniversary.

The study, from researchers at the renowned Max Planck Institute in Germany, suggests that couples grow bored with each other far sooner than in the 1950s, when the dangerous time known as "the seven-year itch" inspired a
movie starring Marilyn Monroe.

These days, women in particular are more likely to pursue careers and to become disenchanted with married life much earlier than they used to.

The findings emerged in a study of divorce trends in the United States, Russia and the Scandinavian countries.

But there is a bit of good news. Couples who do manage to make it to the five-year mark, and who go on to survive 10 years together, are more likely to stay together for the long haul.

"The crisis point for the modern marriage is arriving sooner," said Aiva Jasilioniene, who helped conduct the study.

She said the early years of marriage can be tough because they are often characterized by challenging experiences involving the building of careers and the bearing of children.

Jasilioniene also found that after the five-year point, couples are increasingly deterred from separating by the cost of divorce and of managing separate lives.

Anastasia de Waal, head of family and education issues at Civitas, a research organization in London, agreed that married people are definitely becoming "itchier" earlier these days.

"The main reason seems to be increased expectations of both relationships and what a happy marriage should be like," she said. "In a climate of media-enhanced instant gratification, the stakes have been raised as mere contentedness is no longer enough in a marriage.

"We increasingly expect that more passionate element to continue indefinitely," she said.

Norman Wells, director of the Family Education Trust, a London group that researches causes of family breakdown, said, "No-fault divorce laws make it easier for spouses to walk out on each other when problems arise."

[darin]

Interesting to me; the further society gets from Families as God ideals, the worse families operate.

[truthmatters]

Can you elaborate on what you are suggesting?

[darin]

Who?

[truthmatters]

Chey merely posted and article you made a suggestion upon reading the article.

[darin]

I made no suggestions. I made an observation: The further society gets from traditional marriage roles and family make up, the worse our families are doing.

[Cheyenne]

I made no suggestions. I made an observation: The further society gets from traditional marriage roles and family make up, the worse our families are doing.

So, are you saying that if the woman is the larger money earner & less caregiver to the children our families will not be good?

[darin]

So, are you saying that if the woman is the larger money earner & less caregiver to the children our families will not be good?

I suppose to answer that I'd have to know how you're defining 'good'.

For a family to have it's best chance of relative (no pun intended) success, families should be organized as prescribed in Scripture.

[PostmodernProphet]

used to be seven....seems like nothing is worth what it used to be.....

[Cheyenne]

I suppose to answer that I'd have to know how you're defining 'good'.

I think this is a great question. I would like to hear others before I put in my pennies worth.

What do you consider a good marriage?

[Trigg]

I made no suggestions. I made an observation: The further society gets from traditional marriage roles and family make up, the worse our families are doing.

I'm not sure what I think of your scripture comment.

Married couples who work full time while raising kids are under more stress than couples in a family where one works part-time. At least that's my opinion.

[Cheyenne]

What do you consider a good marriage?

The biggest cause of divorce is unrealistic expectations.

Science tells us that a marriage consists of three areas; chemistry, compatability & commitment. It is being able to work our differences out in each of these areas (such as a high sexual need marriage to a low sexual need) that make a relationship work.

[diuretic]

The biggest cause of divorce is unrealistic expectations.

Science tells us that a marriage consists of three areas; chemistry, compatability & commitment. It is being able to work our differences out in each of these areas (such as a high sexual need marriage to a low sexual need) that make a relationship work.

THAT is an excellent point, an excellent point.