New NIH Rules
The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced that they were going to start using Democrats instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the Democratic National Committee was outraged and filed suit, but NIH presented some compelling reasons for the switch:
1) NIH lab assistants become very attached to their rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachment could form for a Democrat.
2) Democrats breed faster.
3) Democrats are much cheaper to care for and PETA won't object regardless of the experiment.
4) There are some things even rats won't do.
Drawbacks: It is difficult to extrapolate test results to human beings
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