Fed up with my kids.........

[Trinity]

I have 2 boy's 11 and 9. I swear all these 2 do is fight and argue constantly. Name calling, hitting, breaking their toys arguing over the silliest crap I have ever heard in my life. I swear if one of them said the sky was blue the other wold argue that it was a different color. They fight over everything! They have gotten disrespectful towards me and my husband and just not listening at all.


So last night when they got home from basketball practice they were in for a big shock!

While they were at basketball practice my husband and I cleaned all of the toy's out of their rooms including the game cube and play station and locked them all up in storage.

When they returned we sat them down and explained to them what we did and why we did it.

they were then told that these were the main rules they were absolutely not allowed to break.

1. No hitting
2. No arguing
3. No back talking
4. No fighting (physical contact)
5. Listen when told 1st time
6. No whining

If they break these rules they get a 1 count if they reach 3 within 20 minutes they go to their room for 10 minutes, hitting is an automatic timeout. If however they do not reach a 3 in 20 minutes it will start over.

I also told them as their behavior changes and they are following the rules set I will start giving them their things back but until then it is mine.


No I do not believe in spanking. why? Because once they get the spanking that's it, it is over. This way they have to earn their things back with good behavior.


They probably hate me right now!

[Classact]

At the first unresolvable problem between my two boys ages 15 & 16 I threaten to turn off the power main and first remove all batteries from all devices other than flashlights. Then I tell them if they don't resolve it right then and there they can take it up with their mommy by flashlight. If I'm being bothered, everyone around me will be bothered.

[darin]

Spank them. Then take away their things. This positive-reinforcement mumbo jumbo won't work.

Beat them, take their games.

Timeouts, honestly, are a JOKE to most kids. Seriously - I am NOT trying to make-fun or be mean, Trin - I like you, I hope you know that.

I spank my kids for one of three things: Dishonest, Disrespect, Disobedience.

[hjmick]

I wish my kids were 11 and 9 again...

[Classact]

Spank them. Then take away their things. This positive-reinforcement mumbo jumbo won't work.

Beat them, take their games.

Timeouts, honestly, are a JOKE to most kids. Seriously - I am NOT trying to make-fun or be mean, Trin - I like you, I hope you know that.

I spank my kids for one of three things: Dishonest, Disrespect, Disobedience.

When a child reaches ten years old it is too late for spanking in my opinion. You must require them to reason and weigh what they have to lose. Address children over ten as young woman/man and tell them exactly what you expect of them. They have no rights to anything you don't give them and they live for rights.

[Trinity]

Spank them. Then take away their things. This positive-reinforcement mumbo jumbo won't work.

Beat them, take their games.

Timeouts, honestly, are a JOKE to most kids. Seriously - I am NOT trying to make-fun or be mean, Trin - I like you, I hope you know that.

I spank my kids for one of three things: Dishonest, Disrespect, Disobedience.

I tried that at one time it did not work, I saved the spankings for serious issues because I do not like to spank them. However both of my boy's have the attitude that oh I get a spanking then I can go back to doing what ever I was doing.

My 11 year old hates to be grounded away from his friends it kills him

My 9 year old I have yet to find anything that actually works with him. which is where I decided to take away everything. My 11 year old does not own any more toys, you know he's to old according to him, but my 9 year old about lost it when he found out I took all of his cars and trucks.

[Trinity]

When a child reaches ten years old it is too late for spanking in my opinion. You must require them to reason and weigh what they have to lose. Address children over ten as young woman/man and tell them exactly what you expect of them. They have no rights to anything you don't give them and they live for rights.

That's the truth my 11 year old has spouted off many times when I have told him to watch his mouth, he busts out with it's a free country and I can say what I want. I then look at him with the evil look and tell him yes it is a free country however you live in a dictatorship and I am the dictator. That usually shuts him up.

[Trigg]

I have 2 boy's 11 and 9. I swear all these 2 do is fight and argue constantly. Name calling, hitting, breaking their toys arguing over the silliest crap I have ever heard in my life. I swear if one of them said the sky was blue the other wold argue that it was a different color. They fight over everything! They have gotten disrespectful towards me and my husband and just not listening at all.


So last night when they got home from basketball practice they were in for a big shock!

While they were at basketball practice my husband and I cleaned all of the toy's out of their rooms including the game cube and play station and locked them all up in storage.

When they returned we sat them down and explained to them what we did and why we did it.

they were then told that these were the main rules they were absolutely not allowed to break.

1. No hitting
2. No arguing
3. No back talking
4. No fighting (physical contact)
5. Listen when told 1st time
6. No whining

If they break these rules they get a 1 count if they reach 3 within 20 minutes they go to their room for 10 minutes, hitting is an automatic timeout. If however they do not reach a 3 in 20 minutes it will start over.

I also told them as their behavior changes and they are following the rules set I will start giving them their things back but until then it is mine.


No I do not believe in spanking. why? Because once they get the spanking that's it, it is over. This way they have to earn their things back with good behavior.


They probably hate me right now!

Good for you!!!!

They are getting to old to spank, taking things away will definitally get their attention.

We did this earlier in the year for my 9yr old, we was acting up in school. Took him almost a month to earn back all his stuff.

[glockmail]

When a child reaches ten years old it is too late for spanking in my opinion. .....

I tried that at one time it did not work, I saved the spankings for serious issues because I do not like to spank them. However both of my boy's have the attitude that oh I get a spanking then I can go back to doing what ever I was doing. .....

I agree completely with classact on this. Trinity demonstrated why it doesn't work with older kids. (Although it works great for most kids when they are younger!)

Trinity you're doing a great thing rocking their world like this. Clear-cut rules with well established punishments. My only concern is that the management aspect of it is burdensome.

For my kids, now 13 and 15, I keep it simple. I'm their best buddy or worst nightmare; it all depends on how they behave. If they are edging towards the line, I ask them: "what should your punishment be?" When I get a stupid answer then I respond that I will decide what item of value they prize the most, take that away, and then proceed from there.

[-Cp]

I tried that at one time it did not work, I saved the spankings for serious issues because I do not like to spank them. However both of my boy's have the attitude that oh I get a spanking then I can go back to doing what ever I was doing.

My 11 year old hates to be grounded away from his friends it kills him

My 9 year old I have yet to find anything that actually works with him. which is where I decided to take away everything. My 11 year old does not own any more toys, you know he's to old according to him, but my 9 year old about lost it when he found out I took all of his cars and trucks.

With all due respect, if your kids feel that way about spankings then perhaps you're giving them a "love tap" and not a spanking that'll make their buttcheeks a bit red......

I know - growing up - I always preferred my Mom to spank me over my dad as I knew she was a "light-weight". My dad, however, would put the fear of God in me.....in fact, the worst punishment was the time leading up to the ass-beating he handed out. - that fear and the ensuing beat-down was enough to help keep me on the straight and narrow growing up and - for the most part - respect my parents...

[-Cp]

I agree completely with classact on this. Trinity demonstrated why it doesn't work with older kids. (Although it works great for most kids when they are younger!)

But it does work - I spanked my kids up until around the 12th year - until they got big enough where hitting them any harder would leave marks (they toughen up when older, especially the boys)....

Anywho - yeah... we spanked em' till around 12ish... and I think most folks who know our two oldest - now 16 and 14, would agree they are generally very good kids to be around...

[darin]

When a child reaches ten years old it is too late for spanking in my opinion. You must require them to reason and weigh what they have to lose. Address children over ten as young woman/man and tell them exactly what you expect of them. They have no rights to anything you don't give them and they live for rights.

Tis why we started spanking them when they were little.



But I agree with -Cp.

Trin - I don't like spanking MY kids either - but I swallow it, and spank them anyway because I love THEM more than I care about what feels good.

[Trinity]

I agree completely with classact on this. Trinity demonstrated why it doesn't work with older kids. (Although it works great for most kids when they are younger!)

Trinity you're doing a great thing rocking their world like this. Clear-cut rules with well established punishments. My only concern is that the management aspect of it is burdensome.

For my kids, now 13 and 15, I keep it simple. I'm their best buddy or worst nightmare; it all depends on how they behave. If they are edging towards the line, I ask them: "what should your punishment be?" When I get a stupid answer then I respond that I will decide what item of value they prize the most, take that away, and then proceed from there.

Yeah if it ends up being to burdensome I may only give them a 2 count or even an automatic timeout.

I think my 11 year old will fall into line pretty quickly it is my 9 year old that is usually the instigator of most of the arguments and the fighting and his favorite saying right now is calling his brother a Freaking fag....which drives me nuts!

[glockmail]

That's the truth my 11 year old has spouted off many times when I have told him to watch his mouth, he busts out with it's a free country and I can say what I want. I then look at him with the evil look and tell him yes it is a free country however you live in a dictatorship and I am the dictator. That usually shuts him up.

I love it. Here's some more ammo for you:

1. Who ever told you that life would be fair?
2. This ain't a democracy!
3. When you can pay for your own roof then you can decide what goes on under it. Until then you'll only make the decisions that I allow you to.
4. Its not your room- its mine. I let you use it when you get within my good graces.
5. (In reserve for my 15-year old, will get my old car when he's 16): Its not your car- its mine. I'll let you use it if you do so responsibly. As you know, I have theknowledge and resources to track it with GPS, and cut the ignition or lock you out of it, either on site, or remotely, if necessary.

[Monkeybone]

if you don't like how they are talking, wash their mouths out with soap