(Liberals) have an indoctrinated philosophy about firearms that I like to refer to as the "Anti-Gunner's Glossary." And it goes something like this:
ACLU: A wonderful agency dedicated to the protection of those persons the law would seek to put away. They also work aggressively against wicked homeowners who willingly shoot innocent intruders, without due legal process.
ARSENAL: A pair of 22's and 50 rounds of ammunition.
ASSAULT WEAPON: Anything from a slingshot to a bazooka.
ATF: Congress' personal crimefighters, committed to keeping America safe, by raiding and relieving honest citizens of their weapons, lest they be one day tempted to turn evil.
BRADY BILL: A tremendous crime deterrent. Criminals can no longer legally buy a gun, therefore his ability to obtain a weapon by any other means is completely eliminated.
CRIMINAL: A very misunderstood soul from a dysfunctional family who may have been yelled at as a child, so is not responsible for his actions. To help balance this tragedy, he is given more rights than the rest of us, and deservedly so.
FIREARMS EXPERT: A trained media spokesperson who shot a rabbit twenty years ago.
GUN CONFISCATION: A grand scenario in which all privately-owned weapons are rounded-up from information provided on the registration forms. These forms are filled out only by law abiding citizens at the time of purchase. This is done for their own good.
GUN CONTROL: (See "Registration and Confiscation")
GUN NUT: Anyone who has or wants more than one gun.
GUN REGISTRATION: A computerized method of tracking anyone foolish enough to participate. Registration does NOT apply to felons, however. After all, if he can't register to vote, why should he be forced to register a gun he isn't supposed to have?
HANDGUN: An instrument created purely for evil, capable of leaping up on its own and inflicting great harm, without any human assistance.
HUNTER: A depraved individual of the forest, who believes that controlling animal overpopulation through hunting, is some kind of alternative to letting them die naturally through eventual starvation.
LETHAL INJECTION: A comprimised method of execution, to insure that no convicted murderer be forced to suffer the brutality his victims did. It is still better to disarm the honest, as a crime deterrent.
MILITIA: Known as the United States Militia. This is a secretly funded government agency of some kind, and they are allowed to own guns because the government somehow sponsors them. This 200 year notion of a militia being made up of ordinary citizens is wrong. NRA propanganda.
NRA: An immense organization of gun nuts, bent on keeping their weapons, no matter what. They cling to the ancient and outmoded concept of making the CRIMINALS pay, instead of the public, as a means of crime prevention. This of course, is nonsense.
POLL: An unbiased vote, taken by at least 10 people in a typical newsroom, which naturally reflects the opinions of the entire nation.
SECOND AMENDMENT: This was obviously some sort of clerical error. Our founding fathers actually meant to keep guns OUT of the hands of the people. The British would have eventually returned to England on their own.
SKEET: A frail and defenseless bird, flung from a shack and blown to bits by shotguns in the hands of unsporting hunters trying to reaffirm their manhood. Disgraceful.
TARGET RIFLE: A single shot weapon, serving no competitive purpose. Those photos you see of Olympic shooters are fakes, more propaganda put out by the NRA.
WAITNG PERIOD: The length of time a convicted murderer must live at taxpayer expense. Usually 18 to 25 years.
Folks.................I originally wrote this article about 12 years ago for Reader's Digest. They didn't print it of course.
A dozen years later now, we are seeing it coming to pass.
Anti-Gunner's Glossary
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