Got this in an email last week


1. Government should never censor or regulate political speech--except, of course, when it comes to conservative talk radio.

2. It's discrimination for a Christian photographer to decline to attend and photograph a lesbian ceremony, but it's ok to force a Christian photographer to attend and photograph that ceremony against their will. And the idea of forcing a gay photographer to attend and photograph an evangelical seminar on the public health risks of gay sex is "outrageous."

3. The secret ballot is a fundamental right of every American--except for those Americans who take part in union elections.

4. The death penalty is immoral, but convenience abortion is not. In other words, it's wrong to execute a murderer, but it's not wrong to kill an unborn baby, even if there's been no rape or incest and even if the baby's birth poses no risk to the mother's life. This is true even if we're talking about a third-trimester baby.

5. People who try to stop whalers from killing whales are heroic, but people who try to stop women from killing their unborn babies are intolerant.

6. People who practice homosexuality have a right to get married, but adult-child marriage, beastiality marriage, consensual incest, and consensual pedophilia should all remain illegal.

7. Freedom of religion is a basic right of all Americans. Why, after all, freedom of religion is the very reason the first European settlers came to this land. However, freedom of religion does not apply to churches that refuse to conduct or host gay weddings--such churches should be stripped of their tax exemption and forced to treat gay weddings the same way they treat normal weddings. Such churches should also be forced to hire gay priests. But it goes without saying that no gay group should ever be forced to hire a Bible-believing Christian. And if a gay restaurant owner wants to prohibit people from vocally blessing their food in his establishment, he of course has that right, since public prayers over food may make other patrons "uncomfortable."

8. Our public schools can't even suggest to children that life came about by design. Nor can public schools display the Ten Commandments. Nor can they read George Washington's Farewell Address to children. However, public schools can teach children that life came about purely by chance, that two gay men shacking up is just as valid a relationship as a traditional marriage, and that there's nothing wrong with pre-marital sex as long as they're careful and responsible about it.

9. Government should not fine TV networks for airing nudity, sex scenes, and profanity, since no one is forced to watch any show they don't want to watch--they can just change the channel. However, government should be able to force commercial radio stations to air opposing political views, even if they have to do so at their own expense because the opposing views are not popular with the audience and hence advertisers don't want to buy advertising during those times. Never mind the fact that no one is forced to listen to a radio program they don't like; never mind that people can just change the station if they run across a political talk show they don't like; and never mind that people with opposing views are free to start their own talk shows, provided of course that they can garner a large enough audience to attract advertisers, etc., etc. Nope, in this case the First Amendment is Dead On Arrival. The government must force radio stations to air liberal talk radio shows to "balance out" the conservative talk radio shows, even if liberal talk shows attract much smaller audiences and usually don't pay for themselves. Note: This "fairness doctrine" does NOT apply to CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS, and MSNBC.

10. Government has a right to take as much of your paycheck as it thinks it needs, and if you object you're just being "selfish."

11. Freedom of choice does not apply to parents who want to use their education tax dollars to send their kids to private schools.

12. The government should have the right to determine whether or not a parent is qualified to educate their child themselves. The child really belongs to the state, not to the parent, and thus the state should have the final say as to who gets to teach the child. And just never you mind that home schoolers do better on standardized tests like the SAT and ACT than public school children do. Never you mind that the crime rate for home schoolers is a fraction of what it is for public school children. Never you mind that home schoolers usually excel in college and that on average they perform better in college than public school children do. Never you mind that the rate of rape, molestation, drug use, and violence is far greater in public schools than in home schools. Just never you mind all that.

13. The government should have the right to disarm the citizenry. If the government decides that it would be best if only the government had guns, then that's how it should be. Crime would go down if guns were outlawed and if only the government had guns. If it's in a good mood, the government may establish hunting centers around the country where licensed citizens (those "clingers") could come and do some heavily regulated hunting.