A redneck walked into an attorney's office, wanting to file for a divorce.
The attorney asked, "May I help you?"
The redneck said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."
The attorney said, "Well, do you have any grounds?"
The redneck said, "Yeah, I got about 140 acres."
The attorney said, "No, you don't understand; do you have a case?"
The redneck said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
The attorney said, "No, what I mean is: do you have a grudge?"
The redneck said, "Yea, I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."
The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
The redneck said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."
The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
The redneck said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."
Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY do you want a divorce?"
And the redneck says, "Well, I can't never have no meaningful conversations with her."