Three AM And This Heart Goes Numb


Its three am and this heart goes numb
I wake and see what I've become.
A shell of the man I was once before
Always wanted to be so much more.
Useless were lies myself I did tell
as my horse now rides into a hell.
Pains are mental and so very damn cold
no longer am I strong or bold.
This old image looking right back at me
of a ship sinking on a stormy sea.
Why did my life wreck and go astray
can not grab to remake yesterday.
Damn the pity and damn my old tired soul
life is the pits and takes its toll.
Clock now strikes that wicked number four
I see ghosts racing in my front door.
Time to laugh out as they try to haunt me
they can not hurt this shell of me.
Leaving one always cries his wicked curse
I laugh as it can never get worse.
Its three am and this heart goes numb
I wake and see what I've become.
Only a shell of the man I was once before
Always wanted to be so much more.

R.J. Lindley
June,14TH 1989