Attachment within sexual relationships.

[revelarts]

If your lover, girlfriend, husband, wife, etc, walked in one day and said they had just found love, how would you reply? I found this Buddhist article about attachments within a sexual relationship. I think I like it a lot. I think I want to be that - I want to be a person who would feel good for anyone who found the love of their life - even if that hurt me.

http://www.wildmind.org/blogs/on-pra...non-attachment

I'm weird, I ask a lot of questions.
found love? So did you find Jesus? no?
And what exactly did you find with us when we got married?
That wasn't love?
So if you were wrong about it then maybe your wrong now right?
Or if that's faded away then this new "love" might fade too right and maybe even more quickly?

After repeated conversations and a bunch of irrational non-answers in reply I'd try a less rational approach and see if theres' a way to mend the relationship, then I'd step back more beaten and confused than ever and just let God do what he wants. I've tried all i know for better or worse.

Yes this has sort-of happened to me... no other person involved but " i'm not in love anymore"
We were at the brink of divorce with papers written up and a court date when she decided she wanted to try and work things out.
so we're back together . But I had literally stopped trying to "win" her back. i just treated her like a good neighbor, friendly but not to friendly not cold just not her "husband" or "boyfriend" or "family". And just let her go her way for like a year and half she moved out of town. Then.. to my shock... she reached out to me.

But dmp I know you'll think what i'm about to say is less than "enlightened" since i kinda want clear definitions and some logical connections of what people mean by the words they use. As well as you know i believe that Jesus is the most enlightened entity in the universe. In fact the creator so he knows best. So i can not BECOME MORE enlightened than Jesus on the matter. So we're already at an impasse there.
But for the sake of argument taking Jesus's clear teaching about marriage out of the picture it seems to me if the other person is now MORE enlightened then they'd be able to find love in the person they're with already.
Since they are the one that's supposedly has grown. And Since in Buddhism everything and everyone is worthy of love. So if they are being unselfish they would not seek to harm their mate in the selfish pursuit of even "love".

And in at least some form forms of Buddhism sexual or sensual wrongs are discouraged. As well as falsehoods.
so i'm not sure how what you quoted aligns exactly.

I mean no disrespect but you did asked for opinions. to me much of the quote seems necessarily self contradictory if you try to attach any solid meanings to the words.
If we want something that sounds good i guess it's ok. but it doesn't really EXPLAIN or outline a higher spiritual purpose that'd supersede a commitment of marriage or the acts made while in relationship that were in betrayal or trust to find this new love. Or consequences of the separation from the original partner.

As many have noted about marriage often "love" was not the 1st purpose or the ground anyway.
Most older versions of marriage in Asia as elsewhere were arranged.
Seems to me growing to love the person is a far greater spiritual act than "finding" it out there somewhere with someone else and leaving a partner behind hurt and alone. If we're talking about spiritual virtues.
At least that's what comes to my mind.


And finally my most cynical view of this is :
this kind of thing sounds sorta interesting but i've been around long enough to see people of various religious stripes claim a "spiritual" basis for betrayal.
"the Lord told me we should never have married"
"my spirit guide told me"
"I've gown to another level in my spiritual journey and person x and i are walking the same path in unity..."
"Our chakras are out of alignment."
"I should have never have married a Virgo"
etc..

I don't mean to dismiss the whole thing but on practical level I've observed that some of that kind of talk is just "spiritual" cover. And sadly it bears out when they leave the 2nd or 3rd person for other reasons too.