Have you met anyone who constantly berates themselves? When I was in 7th grade I liked a girl called Shari. I suspect Shari liked me, too. Shari and I talked on the phone and at school. I was pretty lame. I made a lot of - strike that - I make constant self-effacing comments such as "I can't understand why anyone would find ME attractive..." and "Well, I'm pretty not-good-looking..." Eventually Shari fired back: "Dude, look - if you think you're ugly or fat or whatever - FINE. It's not MY job to fix YOUR self-esteem!"

Listening to radio - I generally play christian music while at work because it's calming and all that, and 'work safe'. Today I was struck - majority of Christian 'praise songs' are written a little like this:

"God - I am such a piece of crap! Only YOU are wonderful, good and nice. You take pity on me, the piece of whale vomit, and though I don't deserve ANY KINDNESS WHATSOEVER, you still haven't destroyed the world! You're my King and all that - But I am not worthy to even speak your name, Jesus. God. Jeweh. But you are SO KIND and LOVING! Even though I deserve perpetual death and destruction for all-eternity, you showed pity on me!!"


Ever wonder if God thinks something like what Shari said to me all those years ago? Ever think God sometimes gets a little turned off at our consistent borderline passive-aggressive crap? I wonder if God ever thinks "Okay - Heaven is waiting and I took care of all that for you...so...dude...let it GO with the constant self-shaming?"