Political Satire: The Old Man of the Mountain

[reedak]

Narrator: The priest was riding a white horse like the wind towards the old man's mountain stronghold. On the way, he found some people queuing outside a large building. The priest dismounted his horse and asked one of the persons in the queue what they were queuing for. The person told him they were queuing to hear the verdict of a controversial adultery case. As so many people were interested in the case, the court limited the audience to a privileged few who were willing to pay an astronomical price to hear the verdict as public observers.

As the priest was curious about the case, he tied his horse to a tree and paid the owner of a nearby shop to look after it. He joined the queue to pay for a seat in the public gallery at the back of the courtroom. As to how "astronomical" was the price of the seat, it was anybody's guess. A short while after everybody had seated in the courtroom, the jury foreman of a five-member arbitral tribunal read out the verdict.

Jury foreman: Before I announce the ruling of the arbitral tribunal, let me go briefly over the case. The arbitration of the adultery case was unilaterally initiated by the supposed adulterer. The plaintiff accused the supposed husband of assault. For some unknown reason, the supposed husband refused to participate in the arbitration, but the tribunal rules that it has jurisdiction over the case. Here are the key points of the tribunal's findings:

Firstly, the supposed husband, the defendant in this adultery case, had unlawfully created a "serious risk of collision" when he physically obstructed the meeting between his supposed spouse and the supposed adulterer.

Secondly, the defendant had aggravating the dispute recently by assaulting the supposed adulterer, the plaintiff in the case, even kicking him down the stairs.

Thirdly, the tribunal found the defendant had violated the plaintiff's absolute rights in this region by interfering with his courtship of a supposed married woman.

Fourthly, the defendant had harmed the "biological body environment" of his supposed wife by forcefeeding her with a lot of sexual arousal drugs.

Fifthly, the defendant seems to have been unable to understand that the Mountain Convention on the Law of Marriage (MCLOM) was intended to establish a body of rules that is to be interpreted and applied by all clan members of the Mountain in the same manner, notwithstanding any age-old custom and cultural tradition.

He does not seem to understand that MCLOM provides that all unmarried clan members have the absolute right to enter into courtship and marriage with all other unmarried clan members of the opposite sex, and that it was not compatible with the MCLOM for the defendant to assert the legality of his marriage to an age-old wedding ceremony and a traditional wedding banquet.

Under MCLOM, every marriage must be legalised by a marriage certificate and the exchange of vows. Moreover, the defendant claimed that he married his supposed wife in their homeland before immigrating here. To the extent that the defendant claimed age-old customs, cultural traditions, foreign laws and right of privacy as basis for the legality and rights of his marriage, such legality and rights were "extinguished" when he acceded to MCLOM in order to become a clan member of the Mountain. In short, when a person becomes a party to MCLOM, he agrees in advance to a system of compulsory dispute settlement that can result in a final and binding decision by an arbitral tribunal.

Lastly, the defendant had "permanently destroyed" evidence of the natural conditions of his sexual organs after surgery for prostate cancer. He had "violated" his obligations not to remove any part of his reproductive system under MCLOM.

Some people have pointed out the legality of same-sex marriage in certain foreign countries. However, MCLOM is quite similar to the Christian view of marriage which is a sacred union between two individuals of opposite sex.